she was more interested in trying to suck her feet…and after 4 takes, this the best video so far, sideways and all…oh well…i’m beat and going to bed!
in the words of Tootie from the 70s sitcom The Facts of Life…there’s gonna be trouuuubbbble!!!!
i have a 3 month old child who refuses the bottle and to sleep too far away from me. uh oh! i have to return to earning some money soon and am looking for a full time nanny to watch her in my house. i believe we will be undergoing baby bootcamp in the coming weeks.
9. You need to sleep when the baby sleeps – Yup! –Just as soon as I pay off these bills, make these phone calls and run these errands that I can’t do when she’s awake.
8. You’re done right? You don’t plan to have any more kids? – I don’t understand why people like to be all up in my fallopian tubes and ovaries.
7. You should feed her/him cereal it will make him/her sleep longer – Okay, she’s 2 weeks old. I think her digestive system is still warming up to the idea of milk
6. You’re still breastfeeding? Folks, breastfeeding is the best and natural thing for babies! I don’t understand the disdain for moms who do it past a month.
5. Babysitting horror stories -Not something a new parent wants to hear. And yes yes, I did hear the story of the nanny who smacked up the baby…
4. Is s/he sleeping through the night? – Why? You want to go on a date tonight?
3. When are you due? – Ugh! That belly takes a good while to get rid of don’t ya know. Actually, I asked this of a clerk at a Verizon wireless store who had just given birth and she smiled politely and told me she wasn’t preggers but then proceeded to code my phone incorrectly and saddled me with huge bills that took months to correct. I learned my lesson boy. And if you have ever opened up a cell phone statement and saw the numbers $512.98 staring at you for one month of personal/non-business use, then you’d know where I’m coming from.
2. Peering at the child, turning up your nose and saying…oh s/he’s sooo…er…precious – words like “precious”, “sweet” and “adorable” are code for not cute. Even though you may not think their child is ugly, a new parent may take it that way. But then again, what’s a person to do when the baby’s not cute…yet? They don’t all start out beautiful as many end up.
1. Aww…so cute…do you know who the daddy is? – No commentary needed.
What else folks?? Please add
OMG!!!! My three month old infant is over there sitting in her car seat (we just got back from picking up her brother) and she is SNORING like A BONAFIDE member of my family!!!
I come from a looooooooooong line of snorers and all day sleepers!
that is tooo funny!!! (granted, I think her recent cold has something to do with it. snicker)
10. “So, when are you going to have kids?” – I read somewhere that you produce the absolute smartest child if s/he is conceived during the Haley’s Comet so I’m thinking the year 2062.
9 . “So, when are you going to have kids?” -As soon as I see that check you sent for the half a million dollars the baby will cost clears, I’m on it!
8. “So, when are you going to have kids?” -Tomorrow.
7. “So, when are you going to have kids?” -Just as soon as I finish smoking my last stash of weed
6. “So, when are you going to have kids?” – I’m glad you asked, I need the best email address to send the “nursing” sign up sheet. Would you mind I ask if you are lactating?
5. “So, when are you going to have kids?” -I’ll take 10 and a side of fries. Oh you said “kids” I thought you said “Wings”.
4. “So, when are you going to have kids?” – Just as soon as you learn to mind your business.
3. “So, when are you going to have kids?” – Why? Are you selling some?
2. “So, when are you going to have kids?” -Let me get back to you on that. I only answer personal questions on the third Tuesday of each month.
1. “So, when are you going to have kids?” – Not for another…um at least nine months.
Check out the Wall Street Journal Blog did a similar story recently and another blogger did a post entry asking her readers to submit answers and got loads of responses including #4, #3 and #1 which I borrowed.
After being pregnant 3 times, I think I’ve heard or heard of the top 10 most annoying unsolicited advice and comments people make to pregnant women. In all fairness, often times these things aren’t said out of ill intentions, but rather ignorance or a lack of consideration of the mom-to-be. So as a courtesy to my pregnant readers, I’ve composed a series of quips you can feel free to borrow the next time you’re served one of these lines:
10. Will you have another one? – Well I like to think of child birthing as a heaping full plate of food from a buffet. Sometimes, you just need to finish one plate to see if you have the stamina or will for seconds or thirds.
9. Were you trying? – you mean did I engage in the act of sex with my partner continuously and repeatedly during times of ovulation so as to conceive, is that what you want to ask?
8. Can I touch your Belly? – Sure, but before you do, I hafta warn you that this expanded area on the underpart of the belly *rub it to exemplify*, that used to be my pelvic area and I usually need to know a person for a while before I let them stroke me there.
7. You look like you’re about to Pop! – Oh yeah? Your mamma!
6. Are you Carrying Twins? – Are you?
5. Are you Allowed to [Drink Coffee/Work out/ Eat that much sugar etc. etc.]? Actually I’m not, but I say “Gosh Darn it, you only live once! Go for it!”
4. You still look Good – Oh really? That’s good because I was trying to decide would today be the day I start wearing a muu muu and going out of the house without make up, with mussed up hair, a house coat, slippers and bib to catch food that spills out my mouth.
3. Go ahead and eat that third piece of cake, you are eating for two. – Yup, but I got a growing LARD ASS that I’m going to have to melt off after this kid gets evicted so I think I’m going to stop at just two, but thanks for the “go-ahead” anyway Doc.
2. Do you know what you’re having? Oh, Is that what you wanted? – Well actually, I wanted a mansion, two drivers, and an unlimited spending account but this baby (boy/girl) will have to do I guess.
1. What will you call her/him? – If I tell you that, I’ll have to kill you!
NOW GO OUT THERE AND HAVE FUN!
when i last weighed: 155
recall i skipped last week out of fear that my Easter gluttony would reveal a number i wasnt prepared to see. thankfully, i cut out the junk and doubled up on exercise and managed to get back on track. whew!
I don’t know what rock I’ve been under that I hadn’t heard of this new technology in seating babies, developed by a South African company, but we are soooo getting a Bumbo Baby Seat for lil Miss GG soon! Apparently, this seat is all the rage among parents. I think I need to do some research really soon on all the new products that have been invented since I had my last kid before GG 3 months ago! I think I’m seriously OUT OF THE LOOP!
so says Us Magazine.com….
Baby Phat designer Kimora Lee Simmons is expecting a baby with Blood Diamond star Djimon Hounsou, the New York Post reports. The Post says Simmons, 32, and Hounsou, 43, her boyfriend of one year, had been trying to get pregnant. Simmons has two daughters, Ming Lee Simmons, 8, and Aoki Lee Simmons, 5, with ex husband Russell Simmons, whom she split from in March 2006. They had been married since 1998. A rep for Simmons told Usmagazine.com, “There is no comment at this time.”
interesting development *scratches chin* Hmmmmmm.