at a friend’s baby shower this weekend, we’re talking stretch marks, right?
okay, at one point someone asks the mom-2-be, preggers with #3 if she got new stretch marks. because we’re all cool peoples, the mom-to-be lifts her cute lil frock to reveal the new ones b/c we couldn’t believe after 2 kids she could possible get BRAND NEW STRETCH MARKS!
sure nuff, there they were. Streaks and Streaks of stretch marks!!!
i’m thinking “holy Cow!”
then, this other guest starts to feel me up (yeah, i know. weird right, but we’re all friends right?)
anyway, she goes, “man, you’re tight. I hope you’re putting on your cocoa butter/shea butter/[insert miracle anti-stretch mark ointment here]”
we start to talk about whether those creams really work. i go, “that’s all bunk anyway. it’s hereditary…. my mom didn’t get stretch marks after 4 kids so that means obviously I inherited the non-elastic skin of my father’s side. ..it’s all a crap shoot, but boils down to genetics.”
i satiate myself with my self-righteous post-hoc rationalization for not buttering up regularly as I should be.
lo and behold, just now, while catching up on the week’s worth of Reality Show Junk TV….
what do I see?????…NEW STRETCH MARKS!!! I’M ONLY 20 WEEKS !!! why am I such a fool???? waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!
* massaging and rubbing down another layer of shea butter*Over 9 million people have enjoyed Bellyitch's Award-winning Celeb "bumpwatch" pregnancy and parenting blog. Trying to Conceive? Download our FREE Fertility 100 ebook. Hunting for Top Maternity or Kids Brands? Our Bellyitch 100 is the free resource for you. Baby Shower Shopping? Check out out Top Picks on Amazon or our Gift Guides.