Reposted for Father’s Day
Given how my blog post “50 Things a Moms should teach her sons” was well received, and the recent, yet still ongoing, onslaught of assaults on girls’ self esteem in our society, I figure I should rack my brain, and recollect sage wisdom from my parents, and those I’ve heard and seen in real life and in my social media life and come up with a companion piece for fathers and daughters. I’m fortunate to have a husband who adores his little girl, our daughter, and I’ve also been able to watch their relationship, which is comparable to the relationship my sisters and I have with our wonderful dad. Each men are and have done their part to raise really good their daughters.
So without further ado, here are 50 things that I came up with that fathers (and mothers) should tell their daughters:
- It’s okay to be happy.
- It’s okay to be sad too. A bad day isn’t a bad life. Cry. Scream. Sulk. Write. Vent. Do what you need to do. Then shake it off and start a new the next day. They were totally right about how it gets better. It really does…even if not right away.
- Photoshop is real. Even the perfect-looking girl in the magazine has had touching up and may not even look like that in real life. If you don’t believe me. Look at this before and after in 37 seconds transformation.
- Talk to yourself in the mirror. You have nothing to prove to anyone but yourself so that is who you should be arguing with.
- Live out loud. Get dirty. Stand or play in the sun. (but wear sunscreen to protect from UV rays).
- If you get a chance, dance…even if you are too shy to do it on the dance floor, do it in your head. You’ll catch yourself smiling when you do and you look great when you smile.
- Don’t dumb yourself down or try to hide your smarts. Ditzy is not cute. Smart is cool.
- Work Hard. Get a job. Always have your own money and Never rely on a man to survive.
- Don’t spend money you get for birthdays or special occasions. Keep it for later for when you want to buy those cute shoes you want without having to wait for me to make you earn them by doing chores.
- You are fine the way you are. But if you are really unhappy and insist on changing your looks, do it the healthy way. Girls have died from Anorexia and Bulimia. Let me show you some links.
- Stand for something. Be principled.
- Don’t believe everything you read on the Internet. Anyone can update Wikepedia. Never rely on it.
- Always think about your future when you make decisions in the present.
- Stick by your argument, but know when to concede a point.
- Speak in moderate tones. You don’t have to be loud to be heard.
- Your first love won’t be your last.
- Friends change. People grow up and grow apart. It’s part of life.
- Don’t feel pressured to stay in a car of someone driving recklessly. Teens die every year in car crashes. You don’t want to be one of them. I don’t want you to be one of them. You should always get dropped off at the safest public area and call home for a ride.
- Not everyone will like you. That is life. There are 7 billion people in the world. You’ll find others who will.
- You never deserve to get hit, even if you lose it and hit first, a real man never hits a girl regardless of how it starts. Call me. I’ll take care of things.
- Wash your dedicates by hand in the sink. Some things weren’t made to survive the washer.
- Learn to cook. Not for your future spouse necessarily because you should know how to make your own meal to survive living with an anorexic roomate who doesn’t cook.
- Be nice.
- Mean girls suck
- Ask questions. There is no such thing as a dumb question. It’s okay to be wrong.
- Don’t gossip. If someone is telling you stuff about other people, imagine what they tell others about you.
- It’s okay to have a lot of friends, but it’s okay to have a few too. One BFF is all you need really.
- Don’t dull your shine to make another person feel better about themselves, especially not for a guy. If he’s that insecure, it won’t last anyway.
- Read. Read a lot. And read often.
- Math is not the enemy. You can be great at it.. and science too.
- If you snagged your current boyfriend while he was dating someone else, you’ll spend the rest of your relationship worrying if he’ll cheat on you. Just avoid guys currently in relationships. Demand they end it first, at least.
- Avoid catty girls.
- Don’t be a catty girl. It will be stressful to friends if they have to deal with your attitude all the time. Get a hobby and channel your energies there.
- Wake up everyday knowing you get a new chance to start over.
- Be quirky and Be okay with others thinking you are weird. Who wants to be like everyone anyway?
- Different is good. Don’t laugh at the girl or guy who walks to the beat of their own drum
- Treat your friends well. Be loyal.
- Don’t share your secrets. The only way two people can keep a secret is if one of them is dead.
- Stand out! Stand straight and walk with your head high. Even if you don’t have the latest styles or the biggest house, your confidence in your self will make all that other stuff seem insignificant
- When you get to college, you don’t want to be that wasted girl passed out in some strange guy’s bedroom. If you do drink, do so in moderation. Rape happens. Not all boys have learned it’s not okay to take advantage of a passed out girl.
- Travel. There’s so many amazing things in the world to see. A baby before you’re ready will put a drag on your plans to see the world. Sex can wait but always think of the next few years before letting a guy talk you into something you’ll regret forever.
- Taste your words before you spit them out. It only takes a second to really hurt someones feelings.
- When you get your first job and there is a meeting, if it’s open seating, sit at the table not in the chairs lining the back.
- Your opinion and ideas matter. Don’t let a man or another person take credit for your great idea
- Don’t have regrets. Every mistake can be a lesson for the future. Life is a non-stop attempt to be a better person. And mean it when you apologize. Genuineness counts for more.
- .Love big, but not foolish.
- You deserve the best in life, in love, in work and don’t forget it.
- Everybody is insecure. Even the girl you think has it altogether is unsure of herself too.
- Knowing how to check the oil gauge, change a tire, pump your own gas, hang a shelf, fix a hole in the wall, is just as important as knowing how to sew a button, repair a loose hem or patch a hole in a sleeve. Let me show you how.
- Don’t throw away something old. Maintain your old stuff and put them in storage. Things recycle in season. Don’t blow your budget and savings buying new things every season.
Unofficial #1 Rule
No guy is going to love you like your daddy. Use me and my love and adoration of you as a model for what you should expect in a boy, man or significant other.
Daddy loves ya, kiddo! Don’t ever forget that.