During an award acceptance speech at the 59th Annual Grammy Awards, singer/songwriter Adele gave new insight on the post partum depression she struggled with after giving birth to her now 4-year old son, Angelo.
The multiple-Grammy winning artist had previously shared during a candid interview with Vanity Fair magazine last October that she suffered from the condition though didn’t know what she was going through.
“I had really bad postpartum depression after I had my son, and it frightened me,” she told the interviewer, adding that in lieu of taking medication or talking with a professional to help her cope, she took consult from other moms.
At Sunday’s show, she recounted becoming pregnant after her last album 21 and how the experience and having PPD made her feel disconnected from the world and all the things she knew as normal.
She credited her team for helping her bound back.
“As you can see it took an army to make me strong and willing again to do it. And I thank you all from the bottom of my heart,”
“And in my pregnancy and becoming a mother I lost a lot of myself and I’ve struggled and I still do struggle being a mum,” the platinum-selling artist said. “It’s really hard. But tonight winning this really feels full circle and like a bit of me has come back to myself.”
She also gave credit to her “husband” Simon Konecki for being her inspiration. It was the first time she had confirmed that she had gotten married.
“Grammys, I appreciate it. The Academy, I love you. My manager, my husband and my son — you’re the only reason I do it,” she said while accepting the award for Album of the Year.
She and Konecki have been together for five years and were introduced to one another by fellow British singer Ed Sheeran.
Before, in the Vanity Fair, piece, she talked about how then-boyfriend encouraged her to get out of her funk and to get help.
“My boyfriend said I should talk to other women who were pregnant, and I said, ‘Fk that, I ain’t hanging around with a fking bunch of mothers (sic)’,” she tells the publication. “Then, without realising it, I was gravitating towards pregnant women and other women with children, because I found they’re a bit more patient. You’ll be talking to someone, but you’re not really listening, because you’re so f**king tired.”
But while her non-mom friends didn’t get it, her friends with kids totally did.
“My friends who didn’t have kids would get annoyed with me,” she continues. “Whereas I knew I could just sit there and chat absolute mush with my friends who had children, and we wouldn’t judge each other. One day I said to a friend, ‘I fking hate this,’ and she just burst into tears and said, ‘I fking hate this, too.’ And it was done. It lifted.”
She added that she had a tough time self-diagnosing her condition because she wasn’t educated as to what it is.
“My knowledge of postpartum-or post-natal, as we call it in England, is that you don’t want to be with your child; you’re worried you might hurt your child; you’re worried you weren’t doing a good job,” she explains. “But I was obsessed with my child. I felt very inadequate; I felt like I’d made the worst decision of my life… It can come in many different forms.”
She confided that spending time alone helped.
“I just said, I’m going to give myself an afternoon a week, just to do whatever the f**k I want without my baby,” she says. “A friend of mine said, ‘Really? Don’t you feel bad?’ I said, ‘I do, but not as bad as I’d feel if I didn’t do it.’ Four of my friends felt the same way I did, and everyone was too embarrassed to talk about it;
At the end of the North America leg of her tour, Adele announced plans to try to get pregnant again, and is “off to have a baby.”
“I’ll see you on the other side,” she told fans in Phoenix. “In a couple of years I’ll be back [to the States]. You won’t be able to get rid of me.”
While she’s enjoyed spending a few months at home with her family, Adele will soon be headed back to work. She’s kicking off the next leg of her world tour in Australia and New Zealand later this month.
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