During a recent interview on The View, she addressed her views on marriage and her super long engagement:
I just don’t have—I’m happy. We’re married. We’ve got kids and a family and we’ve got to find our time together alone. We are in it. I think if we do get married it will be for the kids, really. For us, we’re just happy. I know that’s not really necessarily a golden ticket but there is something beautiful about the security of marriage. And we’ll get there when we get there.
However, I get riled up when I hear people who do not want marriage, diss its value. There is a cultural shift where those who are not married, did not grow in two-parent households and /or are struggling to find a lifelone mate are fighting against the guilt and societal pressure.
I understand all that, but I still feel that some heterosexuals in committed relationships should not be disparaging a union that many homosexual men and women are fighting to get. Yes, a lot of marriages fail, and people are unhappy and stick with failing ones for the kids when they are unhappy. However, there are plenty of successful marriages out there too. Why compare and point out those that don’t work out to make the case for why marriage sucks?
They know that if they are married:
- they can pass on inheritance to a married partner, automatically in case of a tragedy or if they haven’t yet drawn up a will. If they are not married, their property could go to an uncaring family member who may have turned their backs on them when they came out the closet.
- and in case a partner is incapacitated for illness or after an accident, or during old age, a married partner will be empowered to make decisions, not domestic partners in most states, still
- their kids can have both their names and make permission slip signing, the names on pick up forms, and other decisions related to the kids and dealing with schools easier.
- they know that many insurance companies allow a spouse to pass over health and dental benefits to a spouse which is great if one spouse has a business, is a stay-at-home mom or dad, or works part time or is unemployed. If they are not married, the spouse without work insurance is screwed and has to get private insurance which could be costly.
- there is societal benefits to the children bearing the same names as their parents. People judge and you cannot help that so if your kid can put off stigma and judgment in this realm, great.
- dual income and security, like Hudson said, are more likely to help than hurt a child, but with marriage comes a reluctance to just walk out in rough times. You may be more likely to work it out and try harder before calling it quits.