It would be unheard of for an employed person to work 365 days of a year without taking a vacation. Motherhood involves 24 hour work at times, yet many moms do not take alone time. There are many reasons mothers don’t get much needed alone time. Sometimes it’s the circumstances and sometimes we get in our own way. Here are 7 reasons (and an infrographic) why personal time escapes many mothers.
- Mothers have to do everything – Some moms believe that nothing, absolutely nothing, will get done without them. They need to oversee every detail of family life and make sure things are running smoothly. As long as they have that outlook and it works for everyone concerned, chances are nothing is going to change.
- Perfectionism – The perfect mother doesn’t need alone time, or so she thinks. Trying to live up to the unattainable image of the supermom is a sure way to crash and burn.
- Demanding kids – Sometimes little ones can be extremely demanding; Mom cannot even go to the bathroom alone. Children like this want to know where Mommy is every minute and she’d better not get out of their eyesight. The idea of alone time for such a mom is just a pipe dream.
- Absentee Fathers– If you have a husband that doesn’t support your alone time, it might be much harder to get. Some fathers are kind enough to take the kids while Mom goes off and does something she wants to do or maybe even stays home and takes a bubble bath. But for the mother who doesn’t have that kind of support at home, finding the time to be by herself can be like looking for a needle in a haystack. Mothers who don’t have a backup parent or other family support around them can find it especially difficult to find time for themselves. Trading babysitting favors with other single moms and making time in the early morning or late evenings when the kids are in bed may be options for these moms.
- Over scheduled – Similar to the busy mom this mom is always on the go, but she has some down time. The only problem is that her down time is spent with other people. She’s waiting for the kids to do this or that, she’s at dance rehearsals or foot ball practice. With a little help she could actually manage to get some alone time in there somewhere.
- Too busy – Some mothers are workaholics and doing too much all the time to take a break. Every minute is planned and used to the max. This mom gets tons of things accomplished, except perhaps some much needed self care.
- Guilt feelings – There are mothers who just feel so guilt ridden about taking private time for themselves, they can’t bring themselves to do it. It feels as if they are stealing time away from the family.