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Single or Divorced Moms Guide to Coping through Father’s Day

 

Father’s Day for children of an absentee dad or who are products of divorce can be hard. Whether by reason of divorce, death or abandonment, the day can be challenging also for single moms. Women who are solo parents by choice also must deal with the stresses of filling both Mom and Dad’s shoes and that includes surviving Father’s Day.

HuffPost Divorce single parent expert Kerri Zane offered some salient advice in a 2013 post.  An excerpt:

1. Realize the day may be difficult for your kids. For single moms dealing with a divorce situation, a day honoring the one you least like in your life, at the moment, can seem unfathomable. This is the time to step into your children’s shoes. As tough as that pill is to swallow, you have to embrace the fact that they love you and they love him, too. It is an important day for you to allow them to celebrate their father without feeling any remorse or fear that they might be hurting your feelings.

2. Don’t pass judgment. Keep an upbeat attitude about your former husband. Your kids still respect him and want to please him. It is in your best interest to always be level-headed around your children and keep your unfiltered ex thoughts to yourself. On Father’s Day in particular you might even want to step up and share one of the reasons you fell in love with their dad in the first place. Extra brownie points for that!

3. Relax into the day. For divorced mommies an extra Sunday all to yourself can be a blessing. Try not to dwell on what the day used to be when you were one big “happy” family. Instead shift your focus and make it a day of cherished me-time. Do something for yourself that you wouldn’t normally do. Spend the day at the spa, get a massage, take an extra long walk, go to the beach and take a cheeky novel or lounge by a pool. Hang out with your other single mom girlfriends, drink mimosas and have a TGIEF=Thank God It’s Ex-Father’s Day.

4. Honor the dad that once was. If Dad’s no longer around because he’s passed on, allow your children to choose how they want to honor him. They can spend the day creating a card, writing a poem, reminiscing with scrapbooks or doing an activity they always used to do with him. It can be particularly challenging because it opens wounds for the passing of your loved one too, so go easy on yourself. If you feel like being sad, it’s okay. It’s real and heartfelt. Share your fondest memories and tell the stories in great detail, they’ll love hearing about him from your loving perspective.

Sage advice indeed. Read more form the original post in HuffPost Divorce HERE