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parent advice

Single or Divorced Moms Guide to Coping through Father’s Day


Father’s Day for children of an absentee dad or who are products of divorce can be hard. Whether by reason of divorce, death or abandonment, the day can be challenging also for single moms. Women who are solo parents by choice also must deal with the stresses of filling both Mom and Dad’s shoes and that includes surviving Father’s Day.

HuffPost Divorce single parent expert Kerri Zane offered some salient advice in a 2013 post.  An excerpt:

1. Realize the day may be difficult for your kids. For single moms dealing with a divorce situation, a day honoring the one you least like in your life, at the moment, can seem unfathomable. This is the time to step into your children’s shoes. As tough as that pill is to swallow, you have to embrace the fact that they love you and they love him, too. It is an important day for you to allow them to celebrate their father without feeling any remorse or fear that they might be hurting your feelings.

2. Don’t pass judgment. Keep an upbeat attitude about your former husband. Your kids still respect him and want to please him. It is in your best interest to always be level-headed around your children and keep your unfiltered ex thoughts to yourself. On Father’s Day in particular you might even want to step up and share one of the reasons you fell in love with their dad in the first place. Extra brownie points for that!

3. Relax into the day. For divorced mommies an extra Sunday all to yourself can be a blessing. Try not to dwell on what the day used to be when you were one big “happy” family. Instead shift your focus and make it a day of cherished me-time. Do something for yourself that you wouldn’t normally do. Spend the day at the spa, get a massage, take an extra long walk, go to the beach and take a cheeky novel or lounge by a pool. Hang out with your other single mom girlfriends, drink mimosas and have a TGIEF=Thank God It’s Ex-Father’s Day.

4. Honor the dad that once was. If Dad’s no longer around because he’s passed on, allow your children to choose how they want to honor him. They can spend the day creating a card, writing a poem, reminiscing with scrapbooks or doing an activity they always used to do with him. It can be particularly challenging because it opens wounds for the passing of your loved one too, so go easy on yourself. If you feel like being sad, it’s okay. It’s real and heartfelt. Share your fondest memories and tell the stories in great detail, they’ll love hearing about him from your loving perspective.

Sage advice indeed. Read more form the original post in HuffPost Divorce HERE

Giveaway: The #DreamKids Detangler Miracle Reversible™ Straightening Texture Manageability™ System

After giving birth to two sons, I was excited to finally welcome a daughter in 2007, even though I had been amply warned by friends with girls of the hair styling woes to come.  They were right! Since then, I have always struggled to find styling solutions for my now-6 year old daughter and frequently send her off to a professional stylist to do what I cannot.  That is why I was quite elated to join a few other top mom bloggers as a team of compensated brand ambassadors promoting this wonderful new option for African American hair that has no chemicals, is NOT a texturizer or relaxer, has no Keratin yet does the same work at smoothing out a tight curl pattern.
The all new Detangler Miracle Reversible™Straightening Texture Manageability™ System looks like it may be the final solution I need when I want to get my girl’s hair to be straightened a bit so it is more manageable for certain styles that require a more polish and coiffed look — like when she had to be a flower girl in a friend’s wedding recently.
How innovative of Strength of Nature — the makers of African Pride, Beautiful Textures, Elasta QP, MegaGrowth, TCB, Pro-line and Soft & Beautiful —to introduce such a revolutionary type or product to this market that  allows hair to flip flop back and forth between natural and straight hair using  the Detangler Miracle Reversible™ Straightening Texture Manageability™.
It apparently works with “natural” hair and is flexible to allow the hair to Flip™ back-and-forth from curly to straight and then back again. Meanwhile, girls with  relaxed hair can use the system to extend the time needed to touch-up between relaxer new growth applications.

This video shows how it works:

And finally, to test it out, you can WIN an entire system that Strength of Nature is gifting to a lucky reader: The Texture Manageability system, Shampoo, Conditioner, Oil Moisturizer, Braid Spray, Smooth Edges, Quick Bounce and Shine Oil. This giveaway ends on June 27, 2014.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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