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parenting tips

10 Cinco de Mayo recipes and decorating idea

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It’s that time again! Cinco de Mayo is around the corner and many in the US and worldwide have adopted this Mexican liberation holiday as an excuse to get together with friends and nosh on Mexican drinks and dishes at Cinco de Mayo parties and casual get-togethers. Hey! Any excuse for a margarita! Even if you are preggers and have to settle for a virgin one.
Here are 10 websites with Cinco de Mayo recipes and party ideas if you are thinking of hosting something this year or have already been planning a gathering and need additional inspiration and ideas.
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The ‘Dad Bod’ physique for men is trending

Your not-that-chiseled-chested husband or boyfriend is going to love this trend.  Apparently the “dad bod” is a new thing. There’s mom jeans and now there’s Dad Bod!
The term is defined in New York Time‘s The Cut blog as “physique characterized by undefined muscles beneath a light layer of flab, usually topped off with a beer belly.”
It’s that guy who goes to the gym regularly but still loves to drink beer and eat pizza on the weekend. 
When I think of a pop culture representation of the dad bod I think of Adam Sandler or  the character Carrie Bradshaw‘s love interest in Sex and the City Aden.
There’s research behind it too. Last year, a survey found that 72% of British women prefer a man with a little love handle over a man with rock hard body.

Who could imagine!

h/t Business Insider 

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10 reasons why you shouldn’t be mean to your children

Bellyitch rewind
Developmental specialists, medical professionals and psychological researchers alike have dedicated decades of energy and resources to exploring the mechanics of parenting. Diana Blumberg Baumrind, a clinical and developmental psychologist, is one of those researchers. Her studies led her to categorize parenting into four different styles; authoritarian, permissive, authoritative and uninvolved. 
Theses have been criticized and accepted by many in the world of child psychology. An authoritative parent is firm and sets limits, but is not rigid. The authoritative parent is willing to make exceptions when appropriate, respond to certain demands of the child, but does not overindulge in them. 
Permissive parents allow their children to dominate the household, while authoritarian parents are excessively strict and rigid in their thinking and uninvolved parents are exactly how they sound – uninvolved in their children’s lives. While all different types of parenting styles may yield different outcomes, here are 10 reasons why being a mean parent doesn’t work.
  1. Fear – A driving factor of mean parenting is fear. Mean parents may use guilt-inducing strategies or physical force to instill a sense of fear in their children. A healthy dose of fear is appropriate at times and may even be necessary under certain circumstances. If your primary approach to parenting involves using fear as a tool, however, it can have a negative developmental impact.
  2. Intimidation – Using fear to control a child’s behavior or humiliation to intimidate him into good behavior may work in the short term, but can have far-reaching implications.  An intimidated child will usually embrace their role within the family as a victim and allow themselves to be victimized throughout adulthood, or rebel against it to become overly aggressive to compensate for the loss of power during their formative years.
  3. Lack of Coping Skills – Many times mean parenting tactics don’t allow for children to express less than desirable emotions. If a child is crying and the parent cannot appease them quickly, they may use a loud or aggressive voice, demanding the child to stop. Unfortunately, this way of stifling emotions teaches children it is not okay to be upset or disappointed and, in turn, they are not shown ways to care for someone else without using forceful strategies.
  4. Depression – In some cases, a mean parent might be struggling with a lack of emotional control or anger management issues. People who are incapable of handling conflict or have a constant need to control may become very emotionally and mentally distressed when they’re faced with a conflict or loss of control. Inadvertently modeling this behavior can teach your children to mimic it, affecting their own ability to handle negative emotions as they mature.
  5. Emotional Instability – Being raised in an emotionally tumultuous or explosive environment can generate a lack of emotional stability in children. Anxiety, hypersensitivity and hyperactivity are all conditions that can afflict kids who are constantly exposed to aggressive or frightening behavior from their parents.
  6. Lack of Respect – While a child may fear the wrath of an angry parent, fear and respect are not always synonymous. Children of mean parents can grow into young adults who lack respect for authority or view a lack of authority in others as a weakness. They may also lack respect for their own boundaries, thus paving the way for other destructive behavior, both physically and emotionally. This lack of respect for others and for themselves may manifest by the child engaging in harmful activities and aggressive or rebellious behavior, according to researchers at the University of New Hampshire.
  7.  Lack of Compassion – When a child is taught that crying or expressing frustration or disappointment is wrong, they are indirectly shown a lack of compassion. This will make it difficult for them to show compassion to others as well.
  8. Low Self-esteem – Fear can crush a child’s sense of security. Lack of emotional expression can suffocate her creativity. Controlling behavior can suppress his autonomy. When a child’s emotional development is arrested it restricts the love and compassion a child will have for herself. Parenting expert Dr. Laura Markham asserts that the kids of overly authoritarian parents will often use the same tactics to shame, intimidate and bully their inner being, lowering or destroying their self-esteem.
  9. Bullies or Aggressive Demeanor – Children are like sponges. They absorb everything around them, negativity included. If all they are shown is negative or mean behavior, they are likely to mirror their home life in social settings. Bullying is a way of expressing internal frustration. Kids typically don’t bully other children or exude an aggressive demeanor if they feel loved, cared for and accepted as they are.
  10. Abusive Relationships – Because being bullied or exposed to aggressive parenting styles shapes the way your child views the world, it can prompt her to seek out that same behavior in her adult relationships. When anger and fear are commonplace throughout the formative years, they become the baseline for normalcy in a child’s mind. If you want your child to be a reflection of love and kindness, take some time to evaluate your own relationship with them.

Study: Daily TV watching contributes to obesity in kindergarteners

Even a little bit of television viewing goes a long way to potentially hurt a child’s health, according to new research.
Kindergartners and first-graders who watched even an hour of television a day were more likely to be overweight or obese, according to new research presented at the Pediatric Academic Societies annual meeting in San Diego.
The research builds on existing studies that have shown a direct link between sedentary behavior and obesity for children and adults. 
Earlier studies have shown the more TV that people watch, the more likely they are to gain weight. 
Children who have televisions in their room are also more likely to be overweight or obese, research suggests. TV habits made early on can lead to a lifetime of weight problems.
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We answer: When do babies start remembering things?

Your baby will start recording things in her mind from birth but will not be aware of what is really happening. During the third trimester of your pregnancy your baby will have begun to recognize your voice and at four days old she will be able to distinguish between your face and a stranger’s. It is at this time she will also recognize Dad if he has been present throughout the pregnancy. She will certainly recognize your smell and be comforted by it from birth.
A researcher recently carried out the following experiment. He looked at babies aged two months whilst they were in their cots and awake. He repetitively poked his tongue out at the babies who watched with fascination. Twenty-four hours later he returned to the same babies in their cots and looked at them but this time he did not stick out his tongue. The babies amazingly started to stick their tongues out at him as if to say ‘I remember you! This is what you did!’ This ability in identifying people and things is known as recognition memory and it gets stronger and better as your baby gets older. A newborn baby will recognize her mother’s voice from birth because she will already be familiar with her voice from her time in the womb. A week after birth a breastfed baby will recognize her mother’s smell. A few months after birth your baby will begin to recognize faces that she often sees and may develop a preference for some, usually her mother and father’s as she spends the most time with them.
Between six months and a year, your infant will develop and enhance her recall memory. This is her ability to recollect a specific experience and some of its details for a short time. Once this type of memory begins to develop in your baby she will begin to become more emphatic about what she wants. The things that she will remember first are those which are repeated often and those which hold more importance to her, for example; meal times, play times, bath time and also specific toys that she has become attached to. You will notice that she might start to make actions she has associated with certain toys and she will learn what activity comes after the other because of repetition of the event. When you notice that your baby knows what is coming next it is showing you she remembers what happened last time.
Once your baby is one to two years old she will have begun to remember some words. She will recognize familiar faces like other family members and you will see this in her excitement in seeing them. It is a joy to watch and be surprised by how much she can remember as she grows older.
Conscious, long lasting memory develops when your little one is fourteen to eighteen months old. This is when she starts to remember specific events. At two years of age your child will have the ability to remember facts and events for example, going to the circus or the park with her grandmother. Observing your child grow and develop her memory you will notice how she will begin to link experiences in her past to her current experiences. By recollecting her experiences she will start to have expectations of what will happen in the future.

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Study: Drinking organic milk while pregnant delays baby’s development

Women who drink organic milk while pregnant or breastfeeding could be putting their babies at risk, according to a new study by scientists in the UK.

Scientists at the University of Reading in England published research Tuesday that states the reduced levels of iodine in organic and UHT milk is harmful for babies.

In the research, published in the journal Food Chemistry, the scientists assert that the amount of iodine found in organic and UHT milk was a third lower than that found in regular milk.

The World Health Organization recommends that pregnant women eat foods that are rich in iodine because of the role it plays in the healthy development of the baby’s brain and nervous system while in the womb. It says that iodine deficiency is one of the leading causes of impaired cognitive development in children.

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Freddie Gray: why Black parents tell their sons to walk not run during chaos

Tonight, the city of Baltimore is in a state of unrest over the death of a 25-year old Baltimore city man named Freddie Gray.  
The charging documents state Gray saw officers nearby and ran away, they chased him and later found a switch blade in his pocket, but nothing more.  But he got arrested anyway. He later died of his injuries presumably sustained while in custody and traveling with officers in a police van.
If Freddie Gray would have calmly walked away when he saw police officers two Sundays ago, perhaps they wouldn’t have chased him, and maybe he would be alive today.
You have to pause and think about that statement to truly appreciate its impact.
In 2013, after the verdict in the Trayvon Martin murder trial, many parents of black boys, understandably felt anxious. Many empathized with Martin’s parents and felt a connection to the 17 -year old who was killed by a neighborhood nightwatchman George Zimmerman.
Back then, I too, as a mom to two black boys felt some angst. The tension of the times caused me to pen a post on my political website Jenebaspeaks.com with a list of 12 things parents of black children, and especially boys, have to teach their young that non-black parents don’t.
This was number 8 on that list:

When a fight breaks out at a club, the mall, the park or anywhere,  leave the scene quickly, but walk swiftly, don’t run. You running away may give off the appearance that you are guilty of something and leaving the scene of a crime.

Eventually, calm will be restored in Baltimore. There will be investigations and perhaps arrests, charges and maybe convictions, though you never know these days. 
But at bottom, when we get to the part where we start redressing concerns, we really have to think about how low the bar for probable cause to arrest a person in a drug infested neighborhood in America is.
Yes, Gray had a criminal rap sheet over petty drugs and was carrying a switch blade at the time.
But that day the only thing he did which led to the chain of events that would ultimately end with him losing his life was RUN.

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Repost

Why this writer while pregnant wished she was carrying a girl

Today, over on our partner site at Pop Sugar Moms, author and new first time mom Kate Schweitzer has a heartwarming post on why she wanted a baby girl when she found out she was first pregnant.
Generally, in society, when we hear a pregnant woman express preference for wanting her unborn child to be of a certain gender, we may be quick to dismiss her reason as based on the superficial: maybe she just wants to dress a girl, maybe she wants a boy because she doesn’t want the stress of raising a daughter or thinks a male child has more value.
But Schweitzer’s reason is more tender than that. Read the relatively short post over at PopSugar Moms HERE!

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How to pick a kid-friendly dog for your family

We’re thinking of eventually getting a family dog, especially for our middle kid who loves animals so hirananny’s tips for selecting the right dog comes in handy:
In the age-old “cat people versus dog people” debate, the votes have been tabulated and the results show that your household is a “dog family.” The only problem is that you don’t actually have a family dog. Remedying the situation provides everyone in the household with companionship and entertainment, helps to teach kids about the responsibility of caring for another living thing and puts a stop to the endless begging, cajoling and whining for a dog. The only thing left to do is choose your dog, but how do you make such a big decision?
Do Your Research
Before you make a selection, you’ll need to have a bit of basic knowledge at your disposal. Purebred dogs purchased from a breeder may have a genetic disposition for certain health problems, but their personalities can be predicted more precisely when they’re still puppies. Mixed breed dogs tend to be healthier than their purebred counterparts, but may be a bit more difficult in terms of personality and predictability.
Visit a Shelter or Breeder
Choosing to adopt from a shelter rescues a dog that may otherwise be euthanized, allows you to brag about making a socially-conscious choice and gives you the option of adopting an adult animal, rather than a rambunctious youngster in need of training. Purchasing a puppy from a reputable breeder allows you to select a particular breed and bring home a young animal that you can train to suit the needs of your family. But be ethical and avoid puppy mills and online pup websites which don’t provide the best beginning or nurturing start for most dogs. Whichever route you choose, you should make a few kid-free visits before making a decision so you can observe the environment the dog is accustomed to, learn more about their individual personalities and make an informed decision before the younger members of your family become attached to a dog that’s ultimately a bad fit with your collective lifestyle.
Think About Your Family Routine
Choosing the right dog for your family will require you to carefully examine the routine of your household. If everyone is away from the house for hours on end, you may want to select a more independent animal that requires less affection and dedicated play time. If you homeschool, have kids that haven’t yet reached school age and one parent stays home, you can comfortably select a dog that requires more attention.
Consider the Age of Your Youngest Child
If you have a toddler or infant that doesn’t yet respond well to verbal direction, you’ll need to make sure that the dog you bring into your home is patient and mature. In these situations, an adult dog may be more suitable than a puppy. Breeds that are known to be anxious, like Chihuahuas, will almost certainly be too nervous when the boisterous attention of a very young child is focused on the dog.
Realize That Babies and Puppies Don’t “Grow Up Together”
The idea that your baby and your puppy will “grow up together” is a charming one, but it’s just not feasible most of the time. Juggling the demands of an infant with those of an untrained, excitable puppy can easily prove to be overwhelming, which is why so many great dogs find themselves in a shelter. An adult dog may be a better choice for families with very young children, while a charming puppy is fine for households with older kids that can understand the proper handling and treatment of a fragile, high-energy puppy.
Keep Size in Mind
The adorable pup that fits in the palm of your hand will one day grow up, and its size will have an impact on how you care for it. Remember that even Saint Bernards start off relatively small, but they grow quickly and can be too much for a small household with young children. Before you fall in love with a puppy at the shelter, try to determine how big it will be when it reaches adulthood. A Great Dane-sized animal simply won’t fit in a small apartment.
Choosing a dog is an exciting milestone, but it’s not a trial-and-error situation. Surrendering a dog because he isn’t right for your family will almost always endanger his life, a situation that simply isn’t fair to the defenseless dog in your care. Rather than making an impulsive choice that you later discover was a bad one, take your time and determine exactly what sort of dog will be best for your family. When you’re patient and committed to making the right choice the first time, you’re making a wonderful addition to your family and are not risking the life of an innocent animal.

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Instagram will stop censoring photos of breastfeeding moms

Controversial Instagram photo of Elisha Wilson Beach, wife of actor Michael Beach
After a couple of years of protests, the social media networking site Instagram has decided to change its policy and will no longer censor and kick off women posting photos of themselves breastfeeding. Much fuss was kicked up after the site disabled the account of a Toronto, Canada professional photographer who posted photos of herself breasfteeding her baby. 
The new policy released last Thursday mentions breastfeeding specifically:

We know that there are times when people might want to share nude images that are artistic or creative in nature, but for a variety of reasons, we don’t allow nudity on Instagram. This includes photos, videos, and some digitally-created content that show sexual intercourse, genitals, and close-ups of fully-nude buttocks. It also includes some photos of female nipples, but photos of post-mastectomy scarring and women actively breastfeeding are allowed. Nudity in photos of paintings and sculptures is OK, too.

It can safely be assumed nursing moms are also included in the new clause about harassment and shaming:

We want to foster a positive, diverse community. We remove content that contains credible threats or hate speech, content that targets private individuals to degrade or shame them, personal information meant to blackmail or harass someone, and repeated unwanted messages.

Woo hoo!!! Victory!!

The previous policy, archived HERE, is more vague. Instagram currently has 300 million users.



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