BellyitchBlog

It seems like these days everyone is always rushing around, working late, and struggling to cross things off a to-do list. Not surprisingly, this go-go-go mindset makes it’s hard for parents to meaningfully connect with their children. One way parents can nurture this relationship with their children is to express love in tangible ways. If you’re looking to foster connection and demonstrate love, consider implementing these 10 things into your day. [And so from our friends at Babysitting.net:]

Give her random hugs. Showing affection to your child is one way to connect with her on a physical level. Kids need a soft place to fall, and knowing that that place is with you will go a long way to make your relationship a close one. Dole out hugs often. Doing so can lead to a healthier and more emotionally well balanced child according to Dacher Keltner, a professor of Psychology at Berkley.
Put notes in her lunch. When she is young, having a smiley face or some other sticker in her lunch is a fun surprise to find. Once she gets older and is able to read, you can send along notes of encouragement for an upcoming test or audition. Notes are an easy way to let her know that you are thinking about her.
Surprise her with a small gift. There’s something about being surprised with a small gift that makes the occasion special. Gifts on holidays or birthdays might be expected, but a gift just because it’s Tuesday is a fun way to say, “I love you.”
Bring her a balloon, just because. Balloons are so bright and fun that they always bring a smile to a child’s face. Little things that you can do to brighten her day will show her that you love her.
Leave her notes on the mirror. The mirror is a good place to leave notes for a couple of reasons. The first reason is that everyone starts their day in the bathroom and will likely see the note which will create a good start to their day. Secondly, as kids get older they stand and look at themselves in the mirror and are often critical. Leaving notes that tell her how beautiful her eyes are or what shiny long hair she has will remind her of her assets instead of letting her focus on her flaws. Being told nice things first thing in the morning will definitely let them know they are loved. This is a good idea for working parents that may not see their child before they are off to school.
Fix her favorite meal. Putting forth the extra effort to make her favorite meal will let her know that you care about her and that she is loved. Celebrate the little things like a lost tooth or winning student of the month.
Bake her favorite cookies for an after school snack. Most kids will grab a snack right after school. Many times it will be something like fruit or some chips, nothing special. On a day when it’s rainy or when you know she’s been down, it’s a loving gesture to make her favorite cookies for a snack. Comfort food isn’t called “comfort food” for nothing.
Take her for a special date night. Create a date night just for the two of you. Take her to the salon for a pedicure or to see a ballgame. Spending one-on-one time with her will give her time to share with you and for you to let her know how much you care about her.
Tuck her into bed and sing her a lullaby. Yelling good night as she heads off to bed by herself isn’t as loving as walking with her to her room and taking the time to tuck her in and sing her a lullaby. Older kids may think that they want to be grown up, but especially in those tween years when they are caught between wanting to be a teen and wanting to still be your baby, tucking them in will be appreciated.
Cuddle up with her to watch TV. Put in a movie, pop some popcorn and cuddle up on the couch to watch some TV. Doing so can serve as a time to relax and reconnect with each other. Special times like this will strengthen your bond and remind her how much she is loved.

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Don’t let the holidays get to you. Juggling shopping, cooking, family, guests, holiday parties and more can be draining and exhausting.

Barb Schmidt , author of THE PRACTICE: Simple Tools for Managing Stress, Finding Inner Peace and Uncovering Happiness and founder of Peaceful Mind Peaceful Life, offers these 8 tips to help you get through it.

1. Meditate. No matter how busy you are, spend 5 minutes first thing every morning sitting quietly with yourself, letting the thoughts in your mind come and go by focusing on the breath. This gives your mind a chance to find your heart. Then, when you enter into your day, you are connected within, ready to face the tasks of the day with your mind, body, and heart in alignment. You are complete.

2. Practice Focused Attention. Throughout the day, focus your attention and be in the moment. When your mind starts to wander to the past or future, bring it back to the moment—to your intention to experience the spirit of the season. The holidays are here to remind us to honor, be present, and celebrate who we are as individuals, as families, and as part of our communities. So remember: when your head starts spinning and your heart starts racing, gently bring your attention back to the spirit of this beautiful holiday season.

3. Be Mindful. Getting the house ready for guests might sound like a chore, but when you approach it as a mindful activity, it can be just as rewarding as when your guests come through your door. As you clean, cook, decorate, and make other preparations, focus on the selfless generosity of your actions and the wonderful opportunity you have to care for your home, yourself, and those you love.

4. Express Gratitude. If you get overwhelmed by the thought of finding the perfect gifts for everyone on your list, remember that your presence is much more valuable than the presents you give. Create a thoughtful list of those you purchase gifts for and jot down a few notes about how each person on your list has touched your life in a positive way. Then, along with whatever gift you give, include a note expressing your gratitude for his or her special place in your heart.

5. Find the Humor. Shakespeare said all the world’s a stage, so keep this in mind as you get in full swing with the hustle and bustle of the season. Seek out opportunities to be entertained by your fellow players on whatever stage you are on: whether in the grocery store, in long lines at the mall, following services, at the dinner table, or at the office party. Seize opportunities to laugh with others and imbue your experiences with a delightful sense of levity. Really lighten up!

6. Look for the Middle Ground. When some families get together, even for joyful occasions, disagreements have a tendency to erupt. Anticipating unrest can certainly be a big producer of stressful feelings! If this describes your family, set the intention to remain neutral at the family gathering and keep your “buttons” in the off position. While this might feel like a tall order, know that a daily meditation practice can help you accomplish this.

7. Focus on Abundance. Especially around holiday time, it might feel like you are squeezing the very last cent out of your budget. Aside from taking actual steps to balance your budget, worrying about your finances at the expense of your peace of mind will not bring you into an easy, joyful mood, and honestly will not help your finances. Worry never helps! When you find yourself stressing over your expenses, refocus your attention instead on what is abundant in your life, such as the love of family and friends, the comforts of home, enough food to eat, and whatever else makes your life possible.

8. Let Go of Expectations. We often think that if we do and prepare everything just so, the celebratory gatherings will go according to our expectations. But let’s revisit Shakespeare here for a moment. He said, “Expectation is the root of all heartache.” And how right he is! If anything goes wrong when our expectations are high, we can be negatively affected. So the lesson here is to approach the upcoming days without expectations. While you may still prefer things go your way, this slight change in vocabulary can be the difference between a humorous chuckle and tears.

Godspeed!

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