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Study: Women Who Don’t Take their Husband’s Last Name Seen as Less Committed to Marriage

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Women who elect to not take their husband’s last name after getting married are still seen as uncommitted to the marriage and would be blamed during a divorce, a recent study showed. That was the attitude mainly among the lesser educated men surveyed in a recent report.

However, that contradicts with an even more recent study published in Gender Issues which found that most Americans don’t think women who take their husbands’ last names are any more committed to their husbands than women who do not, nor do they hold women with their own surnames to a different standard.

This newer study builds on existing research around perceptions of surname choice for women. A survey conducted in 2006 found that 50% of Americans think women should be legally obligated to take their husbands’ last names, and 70% said it would be better if a woman changed her name.

“Women have made a lot of inroads in terms of employment, but what is more stalled in terms of gender inequality is in terms of what goes on in the home,” said Emily Fitzgibbons Shafer, the study’s author.

In one survey, conducted in 2010, presented respondents with a fictitious scenario: Carol has spent extra time in the office working toward a promotion while her husband, Bill Cook, is having to do more around the house. Respondents were then randomly assigned to situations where Carol took Bill’s last name, kept her maiden name, Sherman, or hyphenated to Sherman-Cook.

The survey asked how committed Carol was to her husband, how many days each week Bill should be OK with Carol working late and how justified Bill would be in divorcing Carol. On all three questions, Shafer found that almost all respondents did not think differently of the woman regardless of surname choice. Yet men with low education did think that Carol was less committed if she kept her name and that Bill would be more justified in divorcing her.

Shafer said she included information about Carol’s job as a way to eliminate bias for people who may think they were supposed to say that they do not care whether the woman changed

The results show that women may still get push back in their personal lives once they are seen as putting themselves before their marriage or their family, Shafer said. While people may not judge a woman who keeps her surname, they might have strong opinions as to what is best for a woman, Shafer added.

While Shafer’s overall findings indicate these perceptions around surname are changing somewhat, she still thinks the issue is here to stay, a  USA Today report on the study surmised.

“Surname choice is one of those things that has really stuck,” she said. “The changes in women’s personal lives are behind those in their professional lives.”

Beyoncé Bumped it Up at Sis Solange’s Post-Grammy Party

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There’s nothing better than an intimate party to celebrate a Grammy win!
Solange Knowles won her first Grammy ever for her song “Cranes in The Sky” and got to toast it up at a post-Grammy party she hosted a post-award show party in a private residence near Los Angeles, California.
Among the guests that attended the party Solange co-hosted with her husband Alan Ferguson was her expecting sister Beyonce in a white gown with a plunging neckline and deep split.

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Other guests included another one of our Bellyitch Bumpwatch alums, Kelly Rowland,  Tracee Ellis Ross and Janelle Monáe.

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“There were lot of A-list stars in attendance, a source told E!  “Beyoncé was sitting down in a beautiful white long dress, and Jay Z stood by her side, head bobbing to the music. Solange was very hospitable and chatted with all her guests.”

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The source said that Bey spent most of the night sitting down but was kind and gracious to everyone who came up to her.

Bey and her husband Jay-Z are expecting their  second and third child, a pair of twin. They are parents to 5-year old daughter Blue Ivy, who they welcomed on January 7, 2012.

10 Sledding Safety Tips For Kids

 

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Nothing says winter quite like a pile of snow, a child all bundled up, and a sled. Unfortunately, the Consumer Products Safety Commission reports that there are about 46,000 sledding injuries that are seen in emergency rooms each year, most of which include children under the age of 15 who suffer a head injury. Thankfully, there are some simple tips that you can follow to help avoid an emergency room visit this winter.

  1. Wear a helmet – We have kids wear helmets while biking and skiing, so it makes sense to also have them wear one while sledding. Wearing a helmet will help prevent head injuries in the unfortunate event of an accident while sledding.
  2. Always sled sitting up – Adults should instruct children to sled sitting up and with their feet facing forward. This will allow the child to see where they are going and be more in control of the sled while going downhill.
  3. Choose a safe location – Choose a hill that is appropriate for the children who are doing the sledding. It should be free of obstacles such as trees, open water, and roads. Make sure that the hill mn’t too steep or large for the children who are participating.
  4. Make sure the sled is safe to use – The sled should have no cracks or other signs of wear and should have handles that children can hold.
  5. Never ride on a sled pulled by a car or snowmobile – Teach children to never ride on a sled that is being pulled by a car or snowmobile, as the injuries that can be sustained by doing so can be severe and even fatal.
  6. Dress in layers – It’s important to dress for the weather. Staying warm is an essential part of participating in outdoor winter activities, and you should have your child dress in layers so that they may be taken off and added back on as necessary. If you are sledding in a highly populated area, it is wise to also dress children in bright colors so that they are visible at all times.
  7. Know the signs of hypothermia and frostbite – Be vigilant about checking on kids for weather related illnesses. Children don’t always recognize that they are getting too cold or thattheir skin is too exposed for the conditions outside, so it’s your job to make sure that they are well protected.
  8. Be aware of the weather – Be aware of the air temperature outside, as well as the wind-chill factor, and set time limits based on this information.
  9. Make sure an adult is present when sledding – Always have an adult present while sledding. They can help children make good decisions about sledding and be there (with a cell phone) in case of an emergency.
  10. Instruct children how to safely sled – If they fall off the sled while sledding, instruct them to roll to the side and get out of the way of the led. If they find themselves on an out-of-control sled, they should roll off to the side to safety. Children should observe the hill before beginning their descent to make sure that the path is free of any obstacles, including other children who are sledding.

Sledding is often part of fond memories of childhood and winter days. Safe sledding will ensure that those days are filled with hours of fun and not hours spent in the local hospital emergency room.

President’s Day: DC Area Kids Can See Pres Obama and/or Trump this Monday FREE!

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If you live in the Washington, DC area, for President’s day this year, you can take your kid to meet President Donald Trump inside the White House Rose Garden and/or the 44th President of the United States Barack Obama and other notable African American figures including Frederick Douglass.

Famed wax figures museum Madame Tussauds will allow guests to travel through time in chronology, embarking on a historical journey interacting with everyone from Washington to Trump. The museum includes an exhibit of the new Rose Garden along with a replica of the President’s military helicopter, Marine One.

While there is a modest cost to enter the museum, for FREE this Monday, February 20 for all students who have the day off, they can head to the Kennedy Recreation Center on 7th Street beginning at 11am. Marion Barry, Rosa Parks, Harriet Tubman, Malcolm X, Muhammad Ali and other historic figures will be on display along with activities and giveaways from Madame Tussauds.

Also, from 4:30 pm – 6:00 pm, students from the Southeast Tennis and Learning Center (who’ve traveled the nation with their “Blacks in Wax” show) will bring the figures to life as they portray  these iconic legends. This is a phenomenal opportunity for students, children, youth, adults, families and visitors to learn about African American history in a fun, instructive, interactive way.

The event is part of a partnership with the DC Department of Parks and Recreation as they celebrate ‘Black History Month’.

 

For more information visit: madametussauds.com/washington-dc/en/news/news/celebrate-black-history-month-at-madame-tussauds/

 

 

Find Out the New Scientific Way to Tell If You’re Having a Girl or Boy without an Ultrasound

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Here is a brand new way of finding out if you’re having a girl or boy without getting an ultrasound or amniocenteses, and before waiting until around 16 to 20 weeks.

A recently released study by the Institute for Behavioral Medicine Research at The Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center discovered that the immune samples of women who are carrying girls  produced more of a specific type of protein that caused an inflammatory response than those carrying boys.

Amanda Mitchell, lead author of the study and a postdoctoral researcher in the Institute followed a group of women through pregnancy and exposed their immune cells to bacteria in the lab.

Mitchell and her team noticed some significant differences that later was revealed in the gender of the baby the women carried.

“This could mean that inflammation may play a role in why some women who are carrying girls have more severe reactions to illnesses, making symptoms of conditions like asthma worse for them during pregnancy,” said Mitchell.

“Too many of these cytokines or too much inflammation can really be unhelpful for our bodies’ functioning,” Mitchell said. “It can create or contribute to symptoms like fatigue or achiness.”

So, there’s now some evidence behind the notion that women carrying girls may be more likely to have a harder time with illnesses during pregnancy than if they were carrying a boy.

Melissa Fox, a woman who took part in the study, says the results made a lot of sense based on her experience. Fox said her allergies abnormally flared up during the pregnancy with her daughter, so much so that she had to take and over the counter allergy pill almost every day. Check out her story below:

 

Blake Lively is Learning to Love Her New Mom Curves

Actor Ryan Reynolds (R) holds his daughter James as his wife Blake Lively holds their unnamed new baby during the Deadpool actors Hollywood Walk of Fame ceremony in Hollywood, California on December 15, 2016. / AFP / Mark RALSTON (Photo credit should read MARK RALSTON/AFP/Getty Images)

Blake Lively is feeling good about herself and her body, just five month after giving birth to her second child with Ryan Reynolds.

The mother-of-two chatted with E! NewsZanna Roberts Rassi at the L’Oréal ParisGalentine’s Day” event Monday night—entirely curated and party-planned by Lively—where she was joined by her sister, Robyn Lively. Blake, 29, got to chatting about how pregnancy has not only changed her body, but taught her to appreciate it so much.

In fact, the actress got candid about getting back into shape after baby No. 2, saying, “It’s all a process. You know after the second kid it’s really different. So this is not my normal body, but I like it.”

She continued, “I’m learning to love my body in every iteration and that’s hard for women, and I learned a lot.”

Blake took that confidence with her to the event, looking stunning in a flirty, navy SemSem dress adorned with hearts and polka dots. She accessorized the look with a pair of Christian Louboutin spike-studded stilettos and a maroon purse.

That radiating confidence is something Blake was hoping to spread at the L’Oreal party with women celebrating women.

“L’Oréal told me this idea they had to have a Valentine’s event with your gals—your best girlfriends,” she told us. “I thought, ‘Right now, more than ever, it’s so great that women are coming together and supporting each other and building each other up.’ I got a little too involved. I said, ‘I don’t really just want to show up. I sort of want to plan it.’ It’s a lot more fun to plan a party when it’s not on your dime. I changed the party a bit.”

But party-planning aside, it was the message behind the event that was most important to the mother of two daughters.

“This is the first time in my lifetime where I have been aware of a women’s worth being questioned. I know it happens all the time everywhere, but I never felt it,” the actress explained. “It’s made me so much more aware and empathetic to the challenges that women face always, because I’ve been really fortunate. I think it’s just so important that we come together and build each other up—and that we remind women of their value. It’s really beautiful to see women come together. It’s something I’ve never seen.”

Reprinted with permission

The 10 Things You Teach Your Kids By Making them Do Chores

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When little hands struggle to complete their chores with the degree of skill that an adult possesses, it can be tempting for parents and caregivers to simply do the work themselves in the interest of saving time. There is, however, a wide array of benefits that children can reap from completing household chores. Here are 10 of the reasons it’s wise to institute a chore policy the moment a child is old enough to express interest in helping.

  1. Self-Sufficiency and Independence – When kids learn to complete their chores on their own, without having to be cajoled into doing so by a parent or caregiver or directed in the proper way to do so, they’re also learning their first lessons in self-sufficiency and independence.
  2. A Sense of Responsibility – Children who know that there are certain tasks that must be completed, and that it falls to them to ensure that they’re done well, are learning about personal responsibility. Gaining this understanding during childhood years helps kids grow into more well-rounded, capable and successful adults.
  3. The Knowledge That a Feeling of Accomplishment Accompanies a Job Well-Done – One of the greatest rewards of a job well done is the sense of accomplishment and pride that comes with it. Mastering a task boosts a child’s self-esteem and confidence level, helping her to excel in other areas.
  4. Time Management – Juggling homework, chores and extracurricular activities may seem like too much pressure, but it’s important for parents to remember that their children are gaining precious time management experience that is essential in adulthood.
  5. Basic Life Skills – A child who knows how to make his own bed will become an adult who is capable of handling basic tasks. When children are required to do chores such as helping with laundry or loading a dishwasher, they’re not just performing menial tasks for their parents or caregivers; they’re also learning to do these things for themselves when they move out into the world as adults.
  6. Household Management Skills – Learning to manage smaller aspects of household management in childhood, with gradually increasing responsibility into adolescence and the teenage years, instills the ability to successfully manage a household later in life.
  7. An Appreciation for Order and Cleanliness – Children who are taught to keep things around them neat and tidy from a very early age may have less trouble maintaining order in their lives during the college and young adult years.
  8. Teamwork Skills – Working alongside parents, caregivers and siblings to complete essential tasks teaches children a very powerful lesson in working as part of a team and helping others in order to achieve a common goal. These skills will pay off in spades in a professional setting as an adult.
  9. Strong Work Ethic – Understanding the value and necessity of hard work during childhood and teen years is an essential part of becoming an industrious, successful adult. By requiring children to complete regular tasks and holding them accountable, parents and caregivers are helping their children build a strong work ethic.
  10. The Importance of Routine and Consistency – Caring for a pet, or even a houseplant, helps children understand the importance of establishing and adhering to a routine. Forgetting to feed the guinea pig leaves it hungry and miserable. Forgetting to water a plant causes it to die. These lessons can help kids absorb the necessity of creating a routine that they keep faithfully.

Small children aren’t likely to have the fine motor skills to complete many tasks to perfection, but it’s imperative that parents and caregivers do not allow children to see them redoing their work, which creates a feeling of failure. Instead, praise a child for his effort and focus on the process rather than the result, until he’s old enough to master a task.

Adele Expounds On her Post Partum Depression During Grammy Acceptance Speech

 

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During an award acceptance speech at the 59th Annual Grammy Awards, singer/songwriter Adele gave new insight on the post partum depression she struggled with after giving birth to her now 4-year old son, Angelo.

The multiple-Grammy winning artist had previously shared during a candid interview with Vanity Fair magazine last October that she suffered from the condition though didn’t know what she was going through.

“I had really bad postpartum depression after I had my son, and it frightened me,” she told the interviewer, adding that in lieu of taking medication or talking with a professional to help her cope, she took consult from other moms.

At Sunday’s show, she recounted becoming pregnant after her last album 21 and how the experience and  having PPD made her feel disconnected from the world and all the things she knew as normal.

She credited her team for helping her bound back.

“As you can see it took an army to make me strong and willing again to do it. And I thank you all from the bottom of my heart,”

“And in my pregnancy and becoming a mother I lost a lot of myself and I’ve struggled and I still do struggle being a mum,” the platinum-selling artist said. “It’s really hard. But tonight winning this really feels full circle and like a bit of me has come back to myself.”

Nice!!

She also gave credit to her “husband” Simon Konecki for being her inspiration. It was the first time she had confirmed that she had gotten married.

“Grammys, I appreciate it. The Academy, I love you. My manager, my husband and my son — you’re the only reason I do it,” she said while accepting the award for Album of the Year.

She and Konecki  have been together for five years  and were introduced to one another by fellow British singer Ed Sheeran.

Before, in the Vanity Fair, piece, she talked about how then-boyfriend encouraged her to get out of her funk and to get help.

 

“My boyfriend said I should talk to other women who were pregnant, and I said, ‘Fk that, I ain’t hanging around with a fking bunch of mothers (sic)’,” she tells the publication. “Then, without realising it, I was gravitating towards pregnant women and other women with children, because I found they’re a bit more patient. You’ll be talking to someone, but you’re not really listening, because you’re so f**king tired.”

But while her non-mom friends didn’t get it, her friends with kids totally did.

“My friends who didn’t have kids would get annoyed with me,” she continues. “Whereas I knew I could just sit there and chat absolute mush with my friends who had children, and we wouldn’t judge each other. One day I said to a friend, ‘I fking hate this,’ and she just burst into tears and said, ‘I fking hate this, too.’ And it was done. It lifted.”

She added that she had a tough time self-diagnosing her condition because she wasn’t educated as to what it is.

“My knowledge of postpartum-or post-natal, as we call it in England, is that you don’t want to be with your child; you’re worried you might hurt your child; you’re worried you weren’t doing a good job,” she explains. “But I was obsessed with my child. I felt very inadequate; I felt like I’d made the worst decision of my life… It can come in many different forms.”

She confided that spending time alone helped.

“I just said, I’m going to give myself an afternoon a week, just to do whatever the f**k I want without my baby,” she says. “A friend of mine said, ‘Really? Don’t you feel bad?’ I said, ‘I do, but not as bad as I’d feel if I didn’t do it.’ Four of my friends felt the same way I did, and everyone was too embarrassed to talk about it;

At the end of the North America leg of her tour, Adele announced plans to try to get pregnant again, and is “off to have a baby.”

“I’ll see you on the other side,” she told fans in Phoenix. “In a couple of years I’ll be back [to the States]. You won’t be able to get rid of me.”

While she’s enjoyed spending a few months at home with her family, Adele will soon be headed back to work. She’s kicking off the next leg of her world tour in Australia and New Zealand later this month.

 

How to Set a Good Financial Example for Your Kids

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Kids and teenagers learn so many things in school that they may never use. From trigonometry to writing in cursive, a lot of the traditional core subjects seem less and less practical everyday. But somehow the topic of personal finance largely gets glossed over, leaving children with no choice but to follow in the financial footsteps of their parents — or worse, their friends.

Unfortunately, parents often fail to understand their critical role in teaching their kids to manage money. So millions are left with a large blind spot as they leave the house to fend for themselves at college or in the job market. It doesn’t have to be this way. With just a few small behavioral modifications, parents of any age or income level can become great fiscal role models for their children.

Setting a Budget

The simplest financial lesson is often the hardest to learn. While the complexities of life make setting a budget easier than following one strictly, there isn’t much to it.

You take your monthly income, subtract your fixed expenses and your variable recurring expenses, and the remainder is what can be put to savings and discretionary purchases. Really, the savings should not be negotiable, but the realities of today’s wages mean that some people have to cheat during lean months.

Cutting Costs

While you don’t have to share the details with your kids, the biggest benefit for them will just be understanding that keeping a budget is important. Key them in on the fact that you track your expenses, save your big receipts, balance your accounts and never go above certain thresholds.

Then teach them how to cut down on expenses. If they ask for an expensive cereal, you can tell them that it doesn’t fit in the weekly budget — not just lecture them again about eating too much sugar. Then show them the coupons you brought or how this week you are buying four packages of toilet paper because the store is having a sale. And let them know that doing this means you will have more money next month to buy the cereal they want as a treat.

Increasing Income

There are of course two sides to every budget: income and expenses. So it is great for children to learn early that, if you work harder and show some entrepreneurial spirit, you can then do more fun things with the money you earn.

If you are a teacher, maybe you can be an SAT test proctor on the weekend. If you have camera skills, you can shoot an event for a friend or local business. Or anybody can get started in the “gig” economy by doing sales work.

Then — and this is key — make sure your kids see how that extra income gets spent. When you take the family on a weekend trip to the beach, or just go to play a round of golf one Sunday, show them that you are enjoying it all the more because you worked for it.

Opportunity Costs

The discretionary spending area of your budget is the best way to include your children in the decision-making process. Lay out the costs of certain options and let them decide. Let them know that, sure, the family can go to the water park this weekend, but that means they cannot get a new video game for the next three months. Show them how much basketball camp costs compared to a new bike. Then let them choose one or the other.

If you treat your children like grownups, they will start to act that way. Life is a series of trade-offs. Do you want the nicer car or the extra vacation? Do you want the latest big-screen TV or a camera? Do you want two cheap toys now or one better one later?

Each time you say “yes” to one thing, you are implicitly saying “no” to many others. Too many teenagers go off to college not really understanding this and immediately get themselves into credit card or rent-paying trouble. As a parent, it is your job to do everything you can to prevent them from getting in over their heads.

The Historic Imporance of Ciara’s Whitney Tribute

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Cuteness alert! Second-time mom-to-be Ciara paid tribute to the late great Whitney Houston on the anniversary on the day before the 59th annual Grammy Awards.

Outfitted in a white maternity tank under a white collared shirt and black leggings, the “Body Party” singer pranced around her apartment, passing by her Seattle Seahawks husband Russell Wilson.

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She leapt onto her couch and landed next to her super cute curly-haired 3-year old son Future Zuhair.

And we know we aren’t the only ones who held our breath at that stunt.

The remembrance’s timing was appropriate because it was the day before the Grammys in 2012 that Houston passed away in a bathtub in the Beverly Hilton hotel.

Also, when Houston recorded the video for that song, she was very pregnant with her daughter Bobbi Kristina, who also tragically passed away in 2015 in a bathtub in her Atlanta home.

So for Ciara to be performing this song while pregnant was a very fitting tribute!

Bravo!!

 

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