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10 Behavorial Traits and Personality Quirks of First Born Children

mom and two children
mom and two children

Photo by Ketut Subiyanto from Pexels

A while ago,  a scientific research study found that first born children are usually smarter than their younger siblings. As a first born child myself, that news tickled me pink being a first born myself. I am a big believer in birth order playing a role in the development and personality of a child.

Genes definitely play a role, but researchers suggest that born-leaders are a real thing – and their success is not based on their teachers or peers but on their birth order.

First-borns

Per Vaalweekblad:

First-born children are 30 per cent more likely to become leaders such as CEOs or politicians. This is according to economists at the University of Texas-Austin and at Sweden’s Institute for Evaluation of Labour Market and Education Policy.

They found that first-borns are on average more emotionally stable, persistent, socially outgoing, willing to assume responsibility, and able to take initiative than later-borns.

Researchers say having more children means parents spend less time with each child which means the later ones generally have lower IQs. Parents also invest more time creating rules and being strict with the first child. As a result unique qualities develop that make them great leaders, such as intelligence, discipline and people management.

Well-known first-borns include Beyoncé, Emma Watson, Hillary Clinton, Richard Branson, J. K. Rowling, Kate Middleton, Oprah Winfrey and Winston Churchill.

These are 10 facts from our friends at Nanny.net about the effect of birth order on the eldest children, some of which may shed new light on behavioral quirks and personality traits of your firstborn.

  1. They’re More Reliable – First born children are often expected to look after younger siblings and take on a greater role of responsibility than children born into the family after them, and as a result they often grow into more reliable and dependable adults.
  2. They Tend to Be Higher Achievers – Almost half of all United States presidents have, to date, been first born in their families. In contrast, only four have been last born children. High achievers tend to be eldest children, who place a higher value on achievement and success than their younger siblings.
  3. They’re Natural Leaders – When a child is born first, she’s generally something of an authority figure over her younger siblings. That dominance often becomes a hardwired personality trait, which leaves them more likely to find themselves in positions of leadership in the adult world.
  4. They’re More Likely to be Perfectionists – Unlike younger siblings, who tend to have a more relaxed approach to life, first born children are more likely to be perfectionists, often setting almost impossibly high goals for themselves.

    Photo by Viajero from Pexels

  5. They’re Not as Likely to Rebel – Alfred Adler, the father of the birth order psychology movement, asserted that older children often feel “dethroned” by new babies in the household and, as such, may be more likely to actively seek the approval of their parents and the other adults in their lives. In many cases, this drive to please continues throughout adulthood and they’re less likely to be rebellious as teenagers.
  6. They Benefit from Teaching Younger Siblings – When firstborns teach their younger siblings new skills or information, they’re benefiting from what’s known as “the tutor effect.” That’s one of the reasons why firstborn kids tend to be higher academic achievers and to pursue intellectual careers as adults.
  7. They Care More About What People Think of Them – Free-spirited people who aren’t concerned with what society as a whole or even the people closest to them think about their choices tend to be younger siblings, as firstborns generally have a very real drive to be people pleasers.
  8. They Value Organization and Order – Firstborns are more likely to be list-makers, organizers and to bring order to their surroundings than their more haphazard, disorganized counterparts who are lower in birth order.

    Photo by Aa Dil from Pexels

  9. They’re Self-Motivated – Because of their desire to please and determination to succeed, older kids tend to be more self-motivated than their younger siblings and to require less encouragement to work towards the goals they’ve set for themselves.
  10. They’re Individuals – There are more studies on the subject of birth order than one could shake a stick at, but one thing that holds true across the board is that there’s more at play than simple birth order when it comes to determining a child’s personality. Genetics, for instance, will have some role in the habits and methods of a person’s behavior, as will environment and other important factors. Knowing a bit about the typical firstborn pattern is helpful, but be careful not to box your child in with expectations that may not hold true in her particular case.

Your Birth Order says This About Your Love Life

 


Since I am a BIG believer in birth order shaping the personality of individuals, I was very interested to see this article from Yahoo!Match.

Want some fresh insight into your love personality? Forget about whether you’re a Leo, Pisces or Aquarius; instead, consider whether you’re a first-born, middle child, or baby of the family. If you want to understand how you operate in every kind of relationship, “understanding birth order is a lifesaver,” stresses psychologist Kevin Leman, Ph.D., author of The Birth Order Book. Read on for more insight into your love life:

If you’re an oldest child…

It’s no coincidence that most U.S. Presidents were first-borns, because this is the sign of natural leaders. You’re a take-charge person, so not the type to drive friends and romantic partners crazy asking questions like, “I dunno where we should eat; where do you want to go?” Instead, you’ll make sure you have reservations — and land a prime table, too. And anyone lucky enough to pair up with you won’t spend weeknights wondering whether he or she has Saturday night plans, because “oldest kids are planners,” says Dr. Leman. You’re also old-fashioned (in a good way). You always come through on anniversaries and Valentine’s Day.

Your love challenge: Being more spontaneous. First-borns aren’t the “seize the day” sort (you’re not one to text your sweetie to suggest meeting at this fun café you just walked past). Likewise, “you hate surprises,” Dr. Leman warns. Pity the fool who springs meeting the parents on you or when you thought it was just the two of you going out tonight!

Best match: The youngest child. “It’s a case of opposites attracting,” says Dr. Leman. “You help the last-born be more organized, and the last-born helps you lighten up.”

Read more about middle kids, only children and youngest at Yahoo!Match

Also, to pair it, here’s a 2009 article about the characteristics of birth order from Popsci

First Borns: Energetic, Logical, Ambitious, Enterprising, Scholarly. Famous first born children: Walter Cronkite, Dan Rather, Oprah Winfrey, Rush Limbaugh and Arsenio Hall.

Middle Children: Flexible, Diplomatic, Rebellious, Attention-seeking, Competitive, Peacemakers. Famous middle born children: Donald Trump, Ted Kennedy, Tim Allen, Julia Roberts, and Rosie O’Donnell.

Last Born Children: Risk takers, Idealists, Good sense of humor, Immature, Attention-seeking, Secretive, Sensitive. Famous last born children: Howard Stern, Jay Leno, Ralph Nadar, Bill Gates, and Danny DeVito.

Only Children: Mature faster, Get along well with older people, Responsible, Self-Centered, Perfectionists, Attention-seekers and Have difficulty sharing. Only children tend to be a special breed in that they can share the common personality traits of any of the above 3 main birth orders. However, they are generally more aligned with the traits of the first born. Famous only children include: Nancy Reagan, Chelsea Clinton, Carol Burnett, and Ted Koppel.

Interesting stuff, no?

10 tips for parenting your youngest child

Following up on our series on “How to Care for Your Eldest Child“, “How to Care for an Only Child“, “How to care for a Middle Child” and Rules for caring for  Extrovert and Introvert Child, it is fitting we finally explore How to Care for your last born or the Youngest Child, using excerpted tips from The West Coast Wellness Group. Here are things to consider about the youngest child in the family that should help you in managing and rearing them.
1.  Youngest children are unique in that they are never displaced by a newborn.  They are the babies of the family, and in that way, they continue to be babied long into adulthood.  Youngest tend to appear youthful throughout their lives.  (Ronald Reagan was a youngest, a rarity for a US President.) Youngest children often receive a lot of attention from family because many feel responsible for taking care of them.  Thus, youngest may be indulged, pampered and spoiled in ways that other children are not.  Having experienced good things from others, youngest children may grow up expecting good things from life and therefore tend to be optimists rather than negative-thinking people.
2. Parents tend to be rather blase about the youngest after they come along.  After all, they have already done some child-rearing tasks, and may not be as enthusiastic about this child’s accomplishments.  Thus, the youngest has less expectations placed upon them and they tend to achieve less.  Youngest children grow up having others make decisions for them and thus, as adults, have far less confidence about decision-making in early and mid-adult life.  If teased – and youngest tend to be teased a great deal – they may become interested in working for people for whom they perceive as “powerless” in society.  Occupations such as clergy, nurse, social worker, actor, singer and therapist are common professions for youngest children.  The may be less ambitious than other sibling or birth order positions and are less likely to follow family traditions; creative or artistic pursuits can be a large draw for them.
3. Being the smallest in the family, youngest children quickly learned that being aggressive was ineffective; to get what they wanted youngests found that  employing charm was much more useful.  Another less desirable  but perhaps arguably effective way of obtaining one’s wonts was  pouting to get one’s way.  Either way, it is some manner or   form of manipulation that attempts to get what the person wants.  Later in life the youngest may not need to use manipulative strategies,  but nevertheless youngest tend to continue to be charming in nature.
4. Because their older sibling seemed to have the hold on the intelligence in areas such as scholarly academics, youngest children try to move in different directions in order to be content on their own terms.  If an eldest child was the honor roll, the youngest may be in the school play or music room or creative writing class.
5. Youngest children are followers much more than leaders, and will happily follow a leader they respect.  If a youngest finds themself in a leadership role, they are often well-liked, but their authority may not be taken seriously.  In relationships, youngest children may be dependent on their older spouses and then rebel against them or their control.
6. Youngest children who have been treated well as children tend to be sociable, easy-going and friendly.  If treated poorly as a child, they may be shy and irritable with others
7. Since they are used to being around lots of people, and have done so since birth, many youngest children are very social and enjoy being around people as much as possible. This can be trying at times for parents as youngest children may be very demanding of your time if there is not other child around to play with, or keep them occupied. However, it’s hard to argue with having a child who is outgoing, friendly and chatty, even if it is exhausting some of the time
8. In order to gain attention, and firmly establish their place in the family, youngest children need to be able to find unique ways to identify themselves. For this reason, they are frequently risk-takers and rebels. You may experience your youngest child as feisty and a bit of a smart aleck. This is his or her way of reminding you that being the youngest doesn’t mean being the most invisible. Fortunately, for many youngest children, the “cuteness” factor outweighs the potential for being annoying. 
9. For many parents, by the time they get to the youngest (even of two) they feel they have “mastered” being a parent. They are therefore more relaxed and less anxious. Needless to say, this affects the way they parent the youngest child in comparison to older children. Youngest children typically experience a greater sense of independence and freedom.
10. Although, since they have one or more “mothers” and “fathers” disguised as older siblings, this doesn’t necessarily mean they behave more independently. In fact, some youngest children don’t want to be too independent because it will mean giving up that special place as the baby, which they so enjoy. They therefore allow their parents and older siblings to take care of and do things for them that they are actually capable of doing for themselves. This may or may not be a bad thing depending upon its severity and how everyone else in the family feels about it. 

    Dr. Susan S. Bartell, licenses psychologist adds “as with every child, your youngest will be challenging at times and, of course, wonderful at other times. As long as you do your best to learn about your child, make thoughtful parenting decisions and love all your children fully, your children will flourish and thrive happily.”

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