These days, parents are often blamed for the behavior of their children.
Granted it is our jobs as parents to raise children to be good conscientious kids into responsible adults, so we have to make sure we instill certain rules and limitations on them from the beginning.
Here are 5 things we and our partners think you ought think twice about letting your kids do as they grow up:
1. Break the rules. Do you let your 12-year-old order off the kid’s menu even if it says it for children under 10? What about Facebook? Does your preteen have an account with Facebook even though their terms of use say he shouldn’t? When you let your children break these types of rules, you’re sending the message that the rules that apply to everyone else do not apply to them. Children who grow up thinking they are above the rules may grow up with an indifference to authority and perhaps even a blatant disrespect for it.
2. Get away with bad behavior. Find it hard to hold back the giggles when your toddler drops the F-bomb? Too tired to consistently enforce behavioral rules? Will you let your child do almost anything as long as you get five minutes of peace and quiet? When you let your child get away with bad behavior you’re reinforcing that the behavior is acceptable, especially if he knows you notice it. Behavior’s that are cute now won’t necessarily be cute when your little one grows up.
3. Be rude to others. While you may not think it’s a big deal if your child constantly interrupts you while you’re on the phone or refuses to look someone in the eye when they’re speaking, it is. This lack of manners, otherwise called social skills, will impact how your growing child will get along with others as an adolescent and adult. They are absolutely necessary skill to have to do well in school, work and life in general.
4. Think you’re their friend. When it comes to the parent and child relationship, you shouldn’t be your child’s friend, or let her think that you are. Friends are confidants and those who have similar ideas and outlooks on life. Parents shouldn’t confide in their children as children aren’t emotionally able to handle playing the role of confidant. Plus, children and parents often see things differently, like when it’s time to go home from the playground. Setting limits and guiding behavior is an important and functional part of parenting.
5. Develop a sense of entitlement. Children who have a sense of entitlement feel that everyone owes them everything. They tend to be selfish and think whenever something doesn’t go their way it’s not fair. As they grow up, these children expect people to do what they say and get what they want when they say it and when they want it. If this distorted sense isn’t corrected, it can be problematic in the children’s relationships and interactions with others. To deflate this sense of entitlement, parents can teach their children the value of hard work and giving back to others and by setting limits on what they give their kids.
While there are many things you can and should do as parents, these are some of the things you shouldn’t. If you keep your kids from doing these five things, you’re definitely heading down the right parenting path.