Top Ten Ways to Use Your Belly and Baby For Perks

Bellyitch Rewind

Pregnant and new moms get certain perks when they traverse the streets with their protruding bellies or strolling about with their cherubic little babies. In case you were wondering, here they are in 10 ten list format of course:

10. At the bathroom in a long line. This one is obvious. Who wants to go between a preggers woman and her bladder?

9. On the way to catch an elevator. No need to run. Folks get that you are a waddling duck these days and will patiently wait. Yup, to the courier fubbling in his bag for the package he’s to deliver, people are yelling all sorts of “hurry up and get in here!” obscentities. You sweet waddling duck get to take your sweet time.

8. At the airport security gate. Late for your flight? Horrified by the tremendous line at security check in and fearful you’ll miss your plane? Worry not. Simply stroll junior to the front of the security stand and show them your boarding pass and voila! Instant-cut-a -line Perks!

7. At the airport boarding gate. Traveling with your kid guarantees you the chance to get in the plane first when they board “passengers carrying small children who need extra time getting in their seats.” Sweet!

6. If you arrive at a check out or ordering line at the same time as another person, they’re gonna let the glowing pregnant woman looking to nourish her unborn child go in front of them. That’s a natural gimme!

5. At the parking lots to some mega stores that cater to children. Babies R Us, Toys R Us, Buy Buy Baby, some Walmart and other stores have special parking spots right next to the handicap ones up front reserved for pregnant women and woman with children. I used to smile everytime I’d see one of these signs and was feeling extra lazy that day.

4. Visiting someone who you’d rather not spend that much time with…You can always hit them with the line, “It’s time for Amelia’s nap. It’s been nice, but we’ve go to go.”

3. At a social event. You can always pat your belly and gesture towards the restroom to wiggle your way out of hearing another boring story about that party guests trip to the Outer Banks.

2. At the buffet line while on your second or third helping. Because everyone believes that line “you’re eating for two” and you’re uber eeked at getting to be a glutton and not be chastised for it!

1. On public transportation. While it is true in many major urban cities, people don’t have the manners to let a pregnant woman have their seat, still several people are fine about getting up and putting you out of the danger of possibly losing your balance falling and hurting yourself and your unborn child. I’m a fan of humanity although I am scared of people 86% of the time! LOL!

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