“Very excited to share this special news with you my loves,” she captioned a video announcement of herself and Michael that ended with a sonogram and the baby’s due date, July 2019. “Michael and I are thrilled to welcome a bundle of joy into our lives. The most incredible gift imaginable! Love and light to you.”
“I’m so excited,” the “OZ” Arlington, Virginia restaurant co-owner gushed with the magazine. “When I used to hear people talk about having a child and the miracle of life inside you, I know that sounds great, but then to actually experience it? It’s the most all-encompassing feeling ever. I never imagined I’d feel this much love … it’s the pinnacle!”
This news came right after she suffered a miscarriage last year as well.
“At the time, I didn’t fully understand the magnitude of how it would affect us as a couple and as individuals because we kind of thought it would be a given that we would just be able to have children,” the reality TV star added. “But it was challenging.”
The former Miss District of Columbia added the miscarriage, “was such a traumatic experience,” but credits her husband who is already a dad of two adult children, ages 24 and 27 from a previous relationship, for getting her buy.
“It was very impactful for him because he understands the feelings of being a dad,” the UUniversity of Maryland alum shares. “It was so new to me, but he could help me through that.”
It’s also after a rough patch documented between season two and three of the hit Bravo TV show. The couple had separated and Ashley was living in her own apartment in VA.
The news of the second pregnancy came as a total surprise.
“We found out in the beginning of November,” she revealed in the magazine. “I had just been healing out of it and I thought I was getting sick because of the change of season. I wasn’t feeling too well. Something just told me to take the test, really not expecting a positive result. And then lo and behold, there were two solid lines.”
The Darby’s co-star Monique Samuels just had her third child, son Chase. Over at the Real Housewives of Atlanta, alum Kenya Moore welcomed her daughter Brooklyn Doris last November while RHOA Friend of the Housewife Shamea Morton Mwagani had her first child, a daughter too, Shya Nyambura, while current Housewife Porsha Williams is expecting her first daughter too.
In case you haven’t noticed, the world is messed up. Like crazy messed up. And, as human beings, most of it is our fault. Crazy nuclear-obsessed dictators. Hyper-divisiveness in the American political system. Bigotry. Suicide bombers. Children unsafe at schools. The rich getting richer. The poor getting poorer. Social-media bullies. Cancer. TMZ. The list goes on…
And, just for good measure, mother nature decides to visit us with a record polar vortex and a flu season that affected millions more than normal (including yours truly). Not to mention the fool that cut you off in line for your latte this morning, or a million other of life’s trivial annoyances that get our blood pressure out of control. It is a wonder any of us are remotely sane.
Or is it? If you listen to a guy like Gary Vaynerchuck–and if you don’t you should–he correctly rants that we as human beings live in the greatest time to be alive in the history of humans. And even though life seems and is challenging, we have never collectively had it better.
Remember, it wasn’t all that long ago where the world was much more like Game of Thrones and a lot less like spoiled brat reality TV. And, as annoying as Honey Boo Boo and everything ‘Housewives’ seems to be, humanity continues to trend up.
So what can we do to realize and appreciate what we have? Most of us have little influence in the goings on of the world. However, my belief that if we each make a small effort to treat each other a little better, our lives will continue to improve. Something as seemingly insignificant as a smile can brighten people’s day.
Remember, it is really difficult to be around people who are smiling without smiling. Why? There is actually a mountain of interesting science behind it.
In one of my favorite studies of all time, researchers (Kraft and Pressman) used chopsticks to position people in various facial expressions then put them through a series of stressful tasks.
The results?
The people whose face was positioned into a smile had the lowest stress of any group.
So, even if you don’t smile on purpose, the act of positioning your face into a smiling posture actually decreases stress.
‘Fake it till you make it’ actually works here! The next time someone cuts you off in line, try forcing yourself to smile. Science says it will actually reduce your stress level.
Naturally smiling also creates a cascade of naturally occurring feel-good neurotransmitters to be released automatically. Seretonin, dopanine, and endorphins–the same hormones we artificially stuff into the ever increasing amount of happy pills Americans digest on a daily basis–are naturally released every time you smile. Free happy hormones. No trip to the doctor or prescription required.
What about for the uber career-focused people who are in too big of a rush to snap a smile at Starbucks?
A 2004 study from Penn State showed smiling employees come off as more friendly and likeable (not surprising) and also increased perception of competence (surprising!!!).
Smiling frequently gives people the perception that you are better at your job!
Another study from the University of Pittsburgh compared people with various smile postures, and the bigger the smile the higher the person was graded on trustworthiness (again, surprising!).
So, science suggests that if you want to be seen as more competent and more trustworthy–factors that weigh heavily in any boss’s performance evaluation–you should smile more.
And, just in case the scientific case for smiling wasn’t strong enough, a recent Harvard study found ‘social connection’ is directly linked to happiness and longevity. The more people in your social network, the more likely you were to live longer. What is the number one way to increase social connections you ask? Smiling. Live long and prosper, smile grasshopper.
THE CHALLENGE
My challenge to you: Get a sharpie. On the mirror in your bathroom, write the words ‘5 Smiles’ on your mirror. Look at the words in the morning while you are brushing your teeth (the dental professional in me couldn’t resist reminding you to brush) and say out loud “I will smile at 5 people today”.
Then, throughout your day, smile at 5 people. It’s the easiest challenge of all time. Instead of texting while you are ordering your morning caffeination, greet the barista with a smile before requesting your morning half-soy triple foam. If you are a perpetual grouch, turning the frown upside down may seem forced at first. Remember the chopstick study above–it still works.
Again, science is on your side here. A part of your brain called the premotor cortex has ‘mirror neurons’ that respond particularly strongly to smiling? What does that mean in normal language? Smiles are contagious. We are genetically predisposed to want to smile when we see someone else smiling. So, your smile could actually create a response in someone else that makes them feel better and brightens their day. Pretty good trick when you catch your boss in a grumpy mood.
There are hundreds, if not thousands, of daily opportunities to show off your smile a few extra times. And, if you sleep 9 hours per day (way more than I get) this is only one smile every three hours. Insomniacs may have to smile a touch more frequently at one smile per two hours. Repeat the 5-smile challenge daily.
You may not be able to change Korean dictators, our President’s hair, or the path of a polar vortex, but you can change the frequency with which you share a smile. This isn’t push-ups or sit-ups we are talking about here. Deciding–notice that it’s your choice–to smile literally couldn’t be easier. The result of choosing to smile? You feel better and 5 other people do too. And many, many more by the transitive property. Scientifically proven and mother approved.
Imagine if something so simple, so trivial, actually caught on. Thousands or millions of extra smiles creating intermittent bursts of stress reduction and happy hormone release. Changing the temperament of the world, 5 smiles at a time. Possible? Grin and bear it? Maybe give it a try. Science is on your side.
Congratulations to Andy Cohen on the birth of his first child, via surrogate.
The Bravo TV host and executive shared the news on his Instagram account about the new arrival.
“He is named after my grandfather Ben Allen,” the post read. “I’m in love. And speechless. And eternally grateful to an incredible surrogate. And I’m a dad. Wow.”
Cohen joins a trend of single men turning to adoption and surrogacy to become parents, and a small fraternity that includes fellow celebrity men Hill Harper and Cristiano Ronaldo.
In addition to running this blog and my tech and hair blog, I also have a few online stores (check out my Mom Charm Shop and Etsy stores and my Amazon books and my iTunes books).
And recently, I was introduced toPoshmarkand opened up a closet boutique on behalf of myself and my two sisters featuring some new or barely new fashion.
I’m promoting it as three sisters, one store for stylish looks in the 20s, 30s, and 40s (our three generations).
It’s called Jah’s Closet after the first initial of our names. Come by and see what we have for sale! Thanks, friends!!
I did not watch the SuperBowl last night so I missed all of the commercials. Congrats to our Bellyitch Bumpwatch alum Giselle Bundchen whose husband Tom Brady clinched his 6th historic NFL championship while playing for the New England Patriots.
In case you are like me, here are all the best ones:
One of the fave is our alum Serena Williams‘ commercial for Bumble.
And the other “mom” one featuring another one of our bumpwatch alums Christina Applegate.
The world’s first in-vitro fertilization baby was born in 1978 in the UK. Since then, 8 million babies have been born worldwide as a result of IVF and other advanced fertility treatments, an international committee estimates.
More than a half a million babies are born each year from IVF and other methods, according to estimates
More than 2 million IVF cycles are made each year
Many women are under the impression that pregnancy can wait- when in fact, there is evidence to support aging plays a direct role in delaying pregnancy
What can a woman do at each age and stage? Thanks to advances in modern medicine, including IVF, women have more options than ever before
In addition to IVF, options also include freezing your eggs until you’re ready to start a family, there by preserving your eggs in your “prime”
As more and more celebrities get pregnant later in life, the average woman is left thinking that she too can wait until her late 30s or 40s to start planning a family. According to Dr. Elizabeth Barbieri of Oregon Reproductive Medicine, that’s not always the case. “Many celebrities are inadvertently setting unrealistic expectations for many women that it will be easy to get pregnant naturally in their 40s, when in fact a lot of these celebrities have struggled, and have had a little assistance along the way, including IVF.” According to the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) a woman’s best reproductive years are in her 20s. Women in their 30s have a 20% chance of getting pregnant and by age 40, a woman’s chance of getting pregnant is less than 5%.
With many women delaying pregnancy until their 30s and 40s, fertility issues are becoming a growing topic of concern. According to Dr. Barbieri, women need to think ahead and have a game plan, as there’s many things women need to consider in their 20s, 30s and 40s.
“Whether you’re a new college graduate that is just starting out on your career path, or if you’re in an established relationship in your 30s and trying to get pregnant without success, there’s a variety of options available to women on their journey to parenthood. Knowing more can help people take control of their fertility so they can start a family when the time is right for them.”
Things to consider in your 20s:
Women’s eggs age as we age. We are born with all the eggs we will ever have. The number of eggs actually peaks while we are a fetus, and by birth, we have about 1 million eggs left. When a girl begins her menstrual cycle during puberty, she has about 500,000 eggs left….and she hasn’t even had a chance to use one yet!
As women get older, our eggs do not function as well – meaning they are less likely to result in a pregnancy, and that if a pregnancy occurs, the risk of miscarriage increases as well.
How to Live Life
At any age, ways that a woman can optimize her ability to successfully conceive includes having a healthy lifestyle. Do not smoke. Limit alcohol intake to 4 or fewer drinks per week (for both partners). Maintain a healthy weight as women who are underweight or overweight can take longer to conceive. Take a daily prenatal vitamin (or folic acid supplement). Monitor your menstrual cycle as having regular periods (which is defined as occurring every 24-35 days) to ensure you are ovulating so that you have a chance to conceive when you are ready.
What To Do If Something Is Off
If a woman’s menstrual cycle is irregular, she may not be ovulating, and therefore, it will be harder (if not impossible) to get pregnant. Seeing your OB-Gyn to evaluate for causes of an ovulation/irregular periods can help identify and treat the reason you are not ovulating to help restore regular menstrual cycles.
Things to consider in your 30s:
The chance of getting pregnant each month declines progressively throughout a woman’s 30’s. In the early 30’s, the chance of pregnancy each cycle is approximately 20%. At 35 years old the chance of pregnancy each cycle is 15% and decreases to 5% as a woman approaches 40 year old. The age related decline in fertility is accompanied by a significant increase in the risk of miscarriage.
The risk of miscarriage for women under 35 y/o is approximately 15% and increases to 30% at 40 years old
When should women in their 30s get help if they can’t conceive?
Honestly, it is never too early for a woman to begin a conversation with her health care provider about her fertility. Women who are under 35 years old should seek evaluation if they have failed to conceive after 12 months of regular, unprotected intercourse. Given the age related changes in fertility, women over the age of 35 years old should seek help after 6 months of trying.
What risk factors may make it more difficult to become pregnant?
There are several factors that can affect a woman’s ability to become pregnant. Some of these are modifiable and some of them are not. It can be more difficult to conceive if a woman has irregular menstrual cycles or issues with the uterus or fallopian tubes. The uterus can be affected by the presence of fibroids or scar tissue, whereas, having a history of pelvic infections or endometriosis can affect the fallopian tubes.
Lifestyle factors can also affect fertility. For example, women who are either overweight (BMI>35) or underweight (BMI < 19) can have difficulty conceiving.
Tobacco use and heavy caffeine use can also affect fertility. Women trying to conceive maintain a healthy diet, avoid tobacco and use caffeine in moderation (<250 mg caffeine per day).
Twenty percent of the time the reasons for infertility are due to male factors. It is important that the male partner be included in the evaluation!
What can be done if a women in her 30s is facing infertility?
The first step is to have a conversation with a healthcare professional. This can be a primary care provider, general OB/GYN or a Reproductive Endocrinologist.
A Reproductive Endocrinologist is an OB/GYN who has completed sub specialty training in fertility. Having this conversation will provide for the opportunity to thoroughly review the medical history and determine if there are risk factors present that may be affecting their ability to conceive. Further evaluation can then be performed to evaluate for these factors. The basic fertility evaluation typically includes evaluation of the health of the women’s eggs, confirming that the fallopian tubes are patent and performing a semen analysis to evaluate the sperm.
Additional testing may be recommended if other risk factors are present.
Between what ages is egg freezing most successful?
Because of the age related changes in egg quality that occur during the 30’s, the earlier the process is completed the greater the chance of obtaining healthier eggs.
What should you keep in mind about risks to mom and baby in your 30s?
The most important thing to remember is that it is absolutely possible for women to have healthy babies throughout their 30’s. Although it may become more difficult to conceive as a woman gets older there are safe and effective treatments to help women grow their families.
Because the risk of chromosomal abnormalities increase as a woman gets older, additional testing may be recommended during a pregnancy to ensure the genetic health of the baby.
This may include a simple blood test or a more invasive procedure, such as amniocentesis. There are also fertility treatments available to evaluate this risk prior to conceiving a baby.
What other kind of fertility care is available to women besides egg freezing?
Egg freezing is a great option for women who are planning to delay child-bearing. Because of the changes that occur with the quality of the eggs as a woman gets older, freezing eggs at a younger age will help increase the chances of having healthy eggs in the future when she is ready.
There are many treatment options available for women and couples who are actively trying to conceive, but having difficulty. The specific treatment is generally determined based on the factors that are contributing to the fertility issues. There are more conservative treatment options available including the use of medications to help the ovaries release more eggs and/or intrauterine insemination (IUI). Some find that they need to utilize more advanced forms of treatment, such as in vitro fertilization (IVF) in order to conceive. IVF is a process where the eggs in a woman’s ovaries are stimulated to mature and then removed through a simple surgical procedure. The eggs are then fertilized with the sperm and embryos are grown in the laboratory for several days.
A healthy embryo can then be returned to the women’s uterus or additional testing can be performed to evaluate the genetic health of the embryo prior to embryo transfer.
This testing is referred to as Preimplantation Genetic Testing. Once the testing has been performed an embryo will be selected and then transferred to the woman’s uterus.
Things to consider in your 40s:
What happens to egg quality once women are older?
The total number of eggs in the ovaries decreases as a woman ages. Additionally, a lower percentage of the remaining eggs will contain the correct number of chromosomes (46 chromosomes). Females are born with all the eggs they will ever have, which is approximately 1-2 million—and at the time of puberty, there are approximately 300,000-500,000 remaining eggs.
When a woman reaches her late thirties, she has about 25,000 eggs remaining—and at menopause, this number likely reaches less than 1,000.
The decline in both the number and quality of eggs can also be influenced by environmental factors including chemotherapy, pelvic radiation, smoking, or ovarian surgery; or by genetic abnormalities such as Fragile X. Despite the multiple tests available to evaluate a woman’s ovarian reserve, the best indicator of egg quality is age.
When should women in their 40s get help if they can’t conceive?
If a woman is experiencing infertility in her 40s, the best initial step is early evaluation. By taking the first step to make an appointment with an infertility specialist, a woman can better understand her overall fertility potential.
At this appointment, a doctor will discuss simple testing that can be used to determine overall ovarian reserve, as well as other diagnostic tests that can evaluate whether she is ovulating, the status of her fallopian tubes, and the semen quality of her sperm source.
Earlier detection can lead to earlier intervention and treatment to increase a woman’s chance of success.
What can be done if a women in her 40s is facing infertility?
After the infertility evaluation is completed, a woman’s provider will often recommend advanced reproductive technologies including standard IVF, minimal stimulation IVF, donor egg, or donor embryo.
There are multiple stimulation protocols for IVF. A woman’s provider will work closely with her to personalize the treatment based on her infertility evaluation, personal and medical history, and desired treatment option.
If a woman in her 40s is facing infertility, she will discuss all the available options with her provider—as there are many different ways to build a family.
If a woman has had her eggs frozen, can she become pregnant in her 40s?
Yes! A woman in her 40s can decide to thaw her frozen eggs when she is ready. An infertility clinic will inseminate the eggs with sperm, and follow them in a controlled environment as they grow from fertilization to a blastocyst (day 5 or 6 embryo).
Embryos can be transferred into the woman’s uterus at this point, or she might choose to have the embryos tested for genetic abnormalities prior to the transfer. It is important to realize that not all embryo transfers will result in pregnancies or live births. In fact, the literature would estimate a 2-5% live birth rate per embryo.
Most importantly, a woman should speak with her IVF clinic to become well informed about her chances for pregnancy.
If you’re interested in improving you fertility, or just improving your chances of having a child, visit a fertility clinic like Fertility Plus to explore all of your available options.
The Real co-host Adrienne Bailon, a newlywed, shared how she tried to time her first pregnancy around her show’s production schedule so she wouldn’t miss an entire season while home with the baby after giving birth.
During a session of “Girl Talk” segment of the show this week, she gave a blow-by-blow of her very unrealistic plan and how her friends and co-hosts helped her realize she was going about it all wrong.
“Ok. I want to have a baby. If I could get pregnant between this window, then I could give birth,” Bailon, who married Gospel singer and producer Israel Houghton in 2016, shared on the daily panel talk show. “That’s not how it works and it didn’t work out that way.”
She concluded that with the help and encouragement of her co-hosts, she learned to deliver it all up to the hands of a higher being.
“Now because you guys have made me feel so comfortable, and you guys are always contantly encouraging me” she continued while addressing fellow panelists Tamera Mowry-Housley, Jeanie Mai and Lonnie Love, who told her. “Girl, let God has his way and it’s gonna happen when it happens.”
She acknowledged that the stress could have hindered her success and it made her stop.
“It was so stressful,” she recalled giving up on trying altogether when the baby didn’t happen on the production timeline she had planned. “We even took some time off and were like, ‘aw man it didn’t work out the way I thought it would. Guess I’ll try again next year.”
Love assured her that the show isn’t going anywhere and neither is Bailon.
“I want my little munchkin to come, so you keep on,” Love egged the former Cheetah Girl. “Do it!”
That’s so nice and nurturing. I love these women!
Catch The Real on Fox. Check your local network for listings.
Over the years, there have been viral articles floating around about fraternal twins born with different races from the same parents and I think I might have cracked a code of a common denominator on this phenomenon.
These types of twins are dizygotic, which is just the scientific term for fraternal twins.
Each starts out as a separate fertilized egg (monozygotic, or identical twins, start off from the same egg and then divide). They inherit different sets of genes from their mother and from their father.
This rare event happens often when the black parent is of Jamaican heritage, I believe.
For example, Lucy and Maria Aylmer (above), two twins from Gloucester, U.K are very different. Lucy has fair skin and straight red hair while her sister has dark, curly hair and darker skin. Their dad Vince is Caucasian and their mom Donna is half-Jamaican.
Here is a photo of the girls when they were younger (above) and with entire family back then (below, then and now)
Another example:
In 2011, The Guardian newspaper did a feature on a set of then teen fraternal twin boys, James and Daniel Kelly of south east London. James, on the left, is black, gay, gregarious and studios, the news site wrote, while Daniel, on the right, is straight, white and doesn’t like school and didn’t advance past high school.
The boys were born on March 27, 1993, the sons of Alyson and Errol Kelly, a Jamaican Brit. (see a pattern!?)
In 2018, the National Geographic cover photo of its Race Issue featured a pair of black and white fraternal twin sisters from the United Kingdom, Marcia and Millie Biggs as a catalyst for readers to rethink what they know about race.
The girls dad Michael Biggs is of Jamaican descent while mom Amanda is Caucasian. The family are from Birmingham, England.
Now, one could conclude the fact that a lot of people of Caribbean heritage live in the UK so it may not be that far of a stretch but still…
And…. while these incidents are quite rare, they are not unique to the Brit-Jamaican combinations of parentage.
In 2015, Dean Durrant and Alison Spooner of Michigan welcomed their second set of twins, Leah and Miya. Like these girls, their older sisters Hayleigh and Layren, born in 2001, also had two different looks. One had dark skin and dark eyes and the other light skin and eyes.
Talk about odds of this happening twice!?!
About a year later, also in America, on April 23, 2016, Quincy, Illinois native Whitney Meyer and her boyfriend Tomas Dean welcomed twins Kalani and Jarani to the world who took the Internet by storm because the babies appeared to have two different races.
The author of a Guardian piece about James and Dean Kelly spoke to a geneticist who did a great job explaining the phenomenon and that’s where I picked the Jamaican-heritage common denominator among the British twins.
According to Dr Jim Wilson, population geneticist at Edinburgh University:
“It wouldn’t really be possible for a black African father and a white mother to have a white child, because the African would carry only black skin gene variants in his DNA, so wouldn’t have any European DNA, with white skin variants, to pass on,” he explains.
“But most Caribbean people, though black-skinned, have European DNA because in the days of slavery, many plantation owners raped female slaves, and so introduced European DNA into the black gene pool.
“The thing about skin colour is that even a bit of African DNA tends to make a person’s skin colour black – so to be white, the child must have inherited more of the father’s European DNA with its white skin variants. Added to the mother’s European DNA, this led to a child with white skin – while his brother, who is black-skinned, inherited more of his father’s African DNA.
“The Caribbean father will have less European DNA than African DNA, so it’s more likely he’ll pass on African DNA – but rarely, and I’ve worked it out to be around one in 500 sets of twins where there’s a couple of this genetic mix, the father will pass on a lot of European DNA to one child and mostly African DNA to the other. The result will be one white child and one black.”
Even though we are still in the dead of winter, now is the time to start working on your summer skin. If you have oily skin, even in the dry season, you can experience breakouts. Moisturizing with the wrong product can clog pores.
Most women want flawless skin year
round, and moms-to-be who are experiencing hormonal fluctuations especially
need to be mindful of the way the season, foods they eat, and other external
and internal shifts can impact the way their skin looks.
If you recall the past, when you had a special occasion coming up like in high school when you wanted to look your best in your prom dress, for example, you drank more water, used anti-blemish creams and acne washes daily to make sure you looked your best. This was the case if you were around when two piece prom dresses were the rage.
Now
that you’re older and have different stresses from work, children, pregnancy,
you have to do the same and take advance precautions when prepping your skin
for the Summer.
Make it a point to exfoliate your
skin
Try to exfoliate your skin regularly.
Rubs and masks are all the rage and so much so that even the Dollar Store sells
popular facial wraps now.
When you exfoliate your skin, it also
removes debris from your skin. When the dead skin gets removed from your skin,
then the toners and moisturizes will become more effective for your skin.
Ideally, you should make it a point
to exfoliate your skin every morning before applying the toner or SPF.
Apply intensive hydration masks
Skin hydration is also mandatory all
year long. It will be a great idea to
apply intensive face masks on your skin once or twice a week.
Also, you should always keep a
revitalizing toner handy, and refresh your face time to time whether you are in
a gym or at the office.
Apply Sunscreen even in Summer
The mistake most women do is that
when they apply the sunscreen on their face even in winter and not apply it
again. It is vital that you should apply the sunscreen after every two hours.
Another confusion most women have is how much sunscreen show they apply on
their face. Ideally, you should apply a teaspoon of sunscreen on your face.
Ideally, these skin care tips will
keep you in tip top shape before Summer Starts!
Believe it or not the very fashionable and gorgeous Ciara has never graced the cover of Vogue before landing her first in Vogue Arabia.
The “Level Up” singer goes into her new upcoming album and talks motherhood and its inspiration for her productivity in the inside story.
“I’m super excited and my vision for this project is to inject love into the world with dance,” she shared about the project that was mainly completed while she was 8-months pregnant with her second child, daughter Sienna with husband NFL quarterback Russell Wilsonof the Seattle Seahawks.
“There was something really special about that,” the fashion muse explains in the issue. “Being a mother of two made me feel even more confident, inspired, and fearless,” she shares, when asked if motherhood reshaped her as an artist.”
Ciara is also mom to 4-year old Future Zuhir with ex fiance R&B recording artist Future.
