Parenting

Here Are the Secrets to Raising a A Polite Child

Posted on October 29, 2017

You are at a restaurant seated with your child and you witness the most polite and well behaved child on the planet at the next table. He sits still, waits until his mom is finished talking and asks for what he wants by saying “may I please have ….” You wonder how this child, who looks about the same age as yours, is not fidgeting in his chair, screaming and demanding he gets his mac and cheese NOW. What has that parent done right and why do you feel like you have done it all wrong?

Give yourself a break. If you love your child, want what is best for him, work hard to see that he is well cared for and strive to spend time with him, you are a fantastic parent. Just breathe and realize that there will be ups and downs, but that the end result is what you are working for, not this moment in time when your child is going nuts. This will pass and you will survive it.

Try not to compare your child’s behaviors to others children. That other child is most likely not always as calm and polite as he appears now. It is very possible that just 10 minutes earlier he was screaming just as loud as yours. Children develop the ability to control behaviors at their own pace. One child might have no problem sitting still in his chair, but be unable to wait his turn, while another child might be fully willing to share and take turns without issue, but seems to be unable to sit still. Comparing your child with other children is never a good idea.

Don’t let your frustration with bad manners come from other people’s judgment.You might find yourself frustrated with your child most often when he does not use the words “please” and “thank you” in public. This frustration usually stems from your sense that other people are watching and judging you. Perhaps you then utter the phrase “what do you say” or “you know better than that” in order to show others around you that you ARE teaching manners to your child. You are probably less concerned about courtesy in your own home when no one is around. It is when you get in the spotlight of the public eye that those concerns over P’s and Q’s surface. So, work to ignore those seemly prying eyes and realize that your child is doing the best he can at that moment. Don’t feel like a bad parent because your child is having a rough time. Love him and move on.

Model good manners for him. The number one way that a child learns manners is though the example others set for him. Children are little mirrors. When you find your child exhibiting a behavior that frustrates you, more frequently than not it is a behavior you have exhibited first. This is not always the case, because children can pick things up from other adults or children in their lives or even from TV, but it is commonly the case. So take a good look at the way you talk to your child. Do you ALWAYS use polite manners when talking with him? Do you ALWAYS say please, thank you and your welcome and use polite tones when asking for things? Or do you only say it every now and then in public? If you use these phrases only spastically, your child is getting mixed signals about their use. He will see your inconsistency and use as a sign that these words only need to be used when he REALLY wants something.

DON’T demand that he use the words “Please” and “Thank you.” Demanding the use of these words does not help your child understand what they mean, why he should use them or even help him want to use them more. It only creates a power struggle between you and your child. As stated before, the tactic to demand their use by questioning “what do you say” is most frequently used in public to demonstrate to others you are teaching good manners. Even when the requirement of their use is performed in private moments, it is with the hopes that the child will use them in public. The truth is that it is not necessary for your child to say these particular words every time he asks for something. The more important value is to make requests in a manner that is respectful. Focusing on the tone of voice is usually more significant. To help remind a child of polite words and manners, parents can talk to the child of generosity when someone gives him something. “That was so thoughtful of Grandma to give you that bear.” This will help the child really understand what it means to be thankful for something. When the child wants something and asks with a less than polite way, telling him “I like to be asked with kind words” will help him understand how to ask with courtesy.

Praise him when he does use polite manners. As with any habit you are trying to help your child build, catching the positive moments is the most effective teaching tool. Find the moments when he does what you are hoping he would and then praise him for those actions. “I really liked the way you asked your dad for that blanket.” Even simply saying “you are very welcome” when he says thank you can help reinforce the concept.

There is not a right or wrong way to teach a child to be polite. It is a lifelong process that will have its ups and downs. Being polite often has more to do with the child’s mood than anything else, and will become more consistent with time.

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Parenting

How Halloween Offers Holiday Traditions for Kids in Secular Households

Posted on October 28, 2017

Guest Post

by Maria Polonchek

I don’t remember how my husband Chris and I ended up with six-month-old twins dressed as vegetables—a chili pepper and a pea pod, to be precise—the first Halloween we were parents. I’ll admit the whole thing sounds very much like the result of a middle-of-the-night-nursing and Internet-browsing session. Regardless, they were pretty cute, as far as produce goes, and we wanted to show them off. At the last minute, we decided to throw on overalls (an article of clothing every good Kansan should own), dress as farmers, and take the veggies downtown, where we’d heard there was annual storefront trick-or-treating.

We did not head out the door that night intending for Halloween to become our family thing. In our Midwestern college town, we discovered, students ranging in age from preschool to graduate school flock downtown to the local businesses, who open their doors after hours and hand out candy from cauldrons and wheelbarrows. Everyone dresses up and the restaurants overflow with happy witches and silly superheroes, nibbling candy, drinking beer, eating French fries. Neither of us had participated in the festivities before becoming parents but realized, at least in this town, you’re never too old to be something for Halloween.

For the next five years, the downtown trick-or-treat tour was tradition, and our family’s passion for Halloween blossomed. While the twins were young, we dressed in themes: the farmers and veggies, Dr. Seuss characters, a family of pirates. Within a few years, though, the boys were ready to fulfill their own costume visions and left Chris and I on our own to coordinate. Halloween became our immediate family’s most consistent annual tradition, the holiday we made our own. The summer we moved to California, I had a harder time thinking of being away for Halloween more than any other day.

Chris and I are raising our children outside of religion, which is not unlike relocating to a new place: it’s both liberating and daunting to be free from constraints that inform our rituals and traditions. On the one hand, the possibilities are endless. We can determine for ourselves what values we want to express, what connections we want to nurture, and when, where, and how we do it. On the other hand, precisely because the possibilities are endless and we can make adjustments, we may notice “tradition” lacking in qualities that help define it: predictability, commitment, endurance.

It’s worth taking on the challenge: a whole body of research points to the fact that rituals and traditions benefit children in a number of ways, including academically, emotionally, and socially. As I’ve seen first hand, being able to count on a predictable set of behaviors and activities around certain landmark dates brings children a sense of stability and security. Opportunities to contribute to these activities helps kids feel useful and needed, shaping identity and a sense of purpose. Participating alongside family and community members, regardless of differences in age and lifestyle, combats sentiments of self-centeredness and encourages empathy and generosity — all while creating lasting memories of positive emotions. It seems important, then, for all families, religious or not, to find meaningful traditions of their own.

We’d begun our Halloween tradition haphazardly, out of convenience more than anything else, as the logistics—who, what, when, where, how—were already answered for us. We didn’t really need to think about it; we just showed up to a party that had already been planned. Over time we developed an approach that stuck, one we could emulate even after we moved away from our familiar environment near family.

Thus I realized: holidays like Halloween, with little or no religious baggage, are the perfect occasions for creating solid family traditions outside of religion. Thanksgiving is another great example. It can be tricky to come up with a formula for creating tradition outside of the mainstream. I’ve learned, though, that creating new traditions can be a celebration of creativity and imagination.

Below are my suggestions for how to navigate the ins and outs of creating meaningful traditions for your family, with or without religion:

Pick your occasions. Take a look at some of the activities and holidays your family has already established as routine. Ask your children what parts they enjoy and why. Consider what the activity expresses about the group and how each person can participate. Whether it’s Valentine’s Day, the summer equinox, or even Superbowl Sunday, make your picks and stick with them. Ritual and tradition is not so much what you do; it’s how you do it, together: with regularity, intention, and commitment.

Own it. Reflect on your values and the things that give your family life meaning so that you are fully behind the actions. Consider the historical and/or philosophical reasons and meanings behind established traditions and create versions of your own to honor those that resonate. If you notice something lacking—an activity that expresses generosity or service, for example—come up with an activity that reflects this value and fold it in.

Make room for others. Traditions are connectors; they link us to one another, which requires patience, understanding, and compromise. Remember, just as we don’t always resonate with traditions from past generations, so our children won’t always resonate with ours. Participating in tradition can be a practice in selflessness and acceptance.

Allow for flexibility. While a defining component of tradition is its predictability, we also must allow for (and even embrace) change and differences. The level of flexibility needed won’t be the same for every family. Perhaps the location is always different, but the activity is the same. Or the location is the same, but some of the people participating rotate. Families who struggle with differences in worldview or belief can still come together to celebrate shared values in creative ways that work for everyone.

Be committed. Because tradition can serve as a touchstone in times of change and difficulty, it’s important to keep it going even when the going gets rough. It can sometimes feel like pressure or burden on the leaders of the group, but if you’re struggling, take a moment to reflect on the benefits, talk to your kids about what they find meaningful, and make adjustments that work for the entire family.

About the Author

Maria Polonchek is author of In Good Faith: Secular Parenting in a Religious World (Rowman & Littlefield Publishers, August 2017). Part memoir, part cultural exploration, In Good Faith examines how to raise children with a sense of identity, belonging and meaning outside of religion. Maria holds a BA in English and an MFA in Creative Nonfiction from the University of Kansas. Her parenting essays can be found in outlets such as Brain, Child, Have Milk, Will Travel, The Greater Good Science Center, The Friendly Atheist and Brian, Mother. A Kansas native, she lives in the San Francisco Bay Area with her husband and three children. In addition to thinking, reading and writing about parenting, she is passionate about wellness, mindfulness, the outdoors, music, art – and the way all of these things relate to social justice.

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How To Get Your Co-Dependent Child To Be More Independent

Posted on October 27, 2017

You’ve heard of or perhaps have had a baby, child or other person who has a very difficult time separating from you as a caregiver. It may be very challenging to get that person, especially an infant or toddler who needs to be left at a baby sitter, to cope without you and become more independent. Ilene Dillon, LMFT, LCSW, author and life coach offered some tips to our partners at eNannySource who asked us to share the tips with our family readers:

What is co-dependence?

Ilene: There is no one who can get more tired than someone caring for a young infant. Why is this? It’s because infants are totally helpless and need someone to care for their every need in order to survive. Not only does the caretaker have to do the caring, but s/he must figure out what the child needs as well. This is much more difficult to do than we think, especially when your infant is uncomfortable and screaming!

When your child is an infant, you are willing to have that individual “use you,” taking up your time, your emotions, your energy and your caring. This is the design of things. We are all born co-dependent, meaning we need to have someone (I call that person an “energy broker”) who helps us exchange what we need with the world. As infants, this means getting messages about what is needed “out,” while also getting what is needed to be “brought in” by the “broker.” We parents love our little babies and realize that this broker position is part of the deal—it’s what our child needs in order to survive and begin to grow up. We allow our baby to manipulate us (note that I use two other terms interchangeably with co-dependence: manipulation and energy-sapping). And even though we may get tired, we love it!

What does this look like when your child is 53 years old, however, and is still expecting another person (a broker) to allow the use of that individual’s energy for whatever your adult child needs to exchange with the world? It’s not pretty. Lots of people want to tell this person to “grow up”! Co-dependence is a term that has been developed to describe this condition: when an adult-appearing individual utilizes another adult’s energy, usually without conscious agreement from the broker. I call a person behaving in this way a “Lifestyle Energy Sapper,” one who knows of no other way to live than to live enmeshed with other people, needing them to be a part of whatever that individual is doing in the world.

Interestingly, most people with whom I have discussed co-dependence believe that it is “normal.” I do not agree. I believe that humans are designed to grow out of co-dependence, just as we grow out of bed-wetting. Sadly, most parents have not been apprised of this possibility, and so they don’t offer the help children need in order to grow past co-dependence. We have accepted that “everybody manipulates,” not realizing that manipulation may be common, but it’s not really “normal”!

eNannySource: When do children begin to grow out of it?

Ilene: Remember when your two-year old was announcing “me do it myself!”? Two year olds are driven to begin growing out of co-dependence. Unfortunately for them, however, their body and brain have not yet developed to the point where they can put energy mainly through themselves. They still need a broker for a while.

Somewhere between the ages of 3 and 4, a child develops the ability to ask for what s/he wants, to pull the blanket up to keep warm, to get a glass of water on his/her own and to do a lot of things without needing to have a broker manage the exchange. They’re not perfect at this yet, but it’s the time humans can begin to grow out of energy-sapping and move toward adulthood. As childhood goes on, that child is designed to take on more and more of the responsibility for exchanging energy directly with his/her world.

Babies “need” another person to act as a broker; without such a broker they will die. Adults, on the other hand, “want” to have others be with them, give to them and work on their behalf, but without such behaviors from other adults, they will still survive. The difference between a co-dependent person and an adult is this very difference between “need” and “want.”

eNannySource: What things hamper a child’s independence?

Ilene: Parents usually miss helping their child grow out of co-dependence for three reasons. First, they don’t know that children need help with this part of life, so they don’t give it. Second, they believe that asking a small child to start taking responsibility for his/her life is too much (even when the child takes over this responsibility gradually). Third, they are themselves manipulative (never grew out of it), and therefore feel they “need” to stay enmeshed with their children, not at all wishing those children to develop independence.

These are the biggest reasons children have difficulty becoming independent, too. Couple them with the fear most parents have about children being kidnapped, sexually abused or hurt, and parents begin to hover in the style that has been called “helicopter parenting.” This style of parenting can cripple children for life, even though the parents are operating from loving concern. Hara Moreno, an editor for Psychology Today magazine, has written A Nation of Wimps, an exposition of what this costs our children and our democracy. Being fearful, helicopter parents who don’t allow our children independence also robs them of their ability to make good decisions and develop confidence in themselves.

What can parents do to help them grow out of it?

Ilene: To help our children grow out of co-dependence, we need to 1) Realize they need our help. 2) Encourage our child(ren) to take as much responsibility as they want to or can (without heavy overload), realizing that responsibility is one of the primary building blocks of self-esteem, and that all children experience a drive to be in charge of their own lives and choices. We can partner with our children on this, allowing them to be independent decision-makers, based on their capability and level of development. 3) Address our own co-dependence, moving ourselves to “want” from others, but not to be in “need” of others for our well-being in our own lives.

What are your best three tips for raising independent children?

Ilene: Ultimately, parents want to raise children to live comfortably both independently and inter-dependently.

There are three good ways to do this. 1) Encourage your child to make decisions from the very early years, managing the early-years decisions by giving only two possibilities at a time, and gradually allowing more choices as your child matures. 2) Allow your child to make mistakes. Celebrate the mistakes as well as the great decisions. Jim Fay (Love and Logic Institute) says he is happy when he learns that a child has made a mistake because he knows that child is in process of learning something! 3) Review choices your child has made with him or her, determining whether the outcome is what s/he desires. If it is not, guide your child in making and testing a new choice. This will build your child’s confidence in his/her ability to make decisions and trust his/her judgment!

Is there anything else you’d like to share?

Ilene: Many people believe manipulation is harmless. It is not. When individuals grow bodies that look adult, but are operating emotionally like a three year old (which is what happens when we don’t grow out of manipulation), their lives can become very painful. They are easily involved in abusive relationships, for example. Abusive relationships result when two people are so fearful of being separate (independent) that they remain in situations where they are not treated well.

Therapists do not work with abuse perpetrators and victims in the same therapy sessions, usually, because it is so difficult to determine who really is the perpetrator and who really is the victim! When we have two individuals who are afraid they won’t survive if they don’t hang on to that other person, each becomes helpless and ineffectual. To make up for this, they attempt to control each other. Nobody likes to be controlled, so anger develops. You can see the loop of abuse and co-dependence developing as I describe the scenario. As a parent, you can protect your child from getting into abusive relationships by assisting them to grow out of co-dependence, as humans are really designed to do!

Then, your child will become an adult who is comfortable being alone as well as being together with partners. S/he will be able to set clear and firm boundaries, which in turn allows for greater intimacy and closeness. Your adult child will feel confident, be able to trust his/her judgment and know what good decisions s/he is capable of making. You’ll be delighted to have raised a child to adulthood who can stand tall, be emotionally self-reliant, and who still is able to connect deeply with others.

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Your Baby’s First Year: Month by Month

Posted on October 22, 2017

Are you wondering what changes and developments your newborn baby will undergo during their very first year of life? Here’s a complete guide to everything you should expect at each month.

1 Month

In the first month of a baby’s life, you might notice that they have some changes to their skin. Their skin might go quite red or look fairly spotty. But don’t’ worry about these as they are to be expected; they should go away on their own if you leave them. Once your baby is two weeks old, they might go through some excessive crying fits. Normally, these are nothing to worry about, and your baby will grow out of this phase. However, if it is very difficult to soothe your newborn, it could be a sign of colic. If this is the case, take your baby to your doctor for a checkup.

2 Months

You might notice your baby’s very first smile once they reach the two-month mark. It’s at this age that infants start to recognize faces as well, so expect a lot of cooing and smiling when she sees you and other relatives! Some babies might even start to bear weight on their legs when they are held upright, though this is something that you shouldn’t try and rush.

3 Months

Once they hit three-months old, babies will be able to stay awake for longer periods. But that doesn’t mean that they can go without their afternoon nap! Now is also the time to prevent cradle cap as it often appears for the first time around three or four months. If you have been breastfeeding your newborn until now, you should try and introduce some formula milk to their diet now as this will give you a chance to take some time off to relax.

4 Months

Parents who have been struggling with the lack of sleep can start to see a light at the end of the tunnel at four months as this is when most babies start to sleep through the whole night. You should start to introduce some tummy time to your child now as they will be strong enough to push up onto their arms when placed on their front. As they aren’t fully mobile yet, they won’t be able to move out of this position, but giving them a chance to use their arms this way can help to strengthen their muscles.

5 Months

Now that he or she is five-months old, your baby will understand object permanence. This is the understanding that objects still exist even when we can’t see them. So, now is a great time to start playing peek-a-boo with them and challenging them to try and find objects, such as their favorite teddy bear. They will find this endlessly entertaining!Unfortunately, it’s not just fun and games at the five-month mark as this is when some health conditions, including food allergies and eczema, can start to raise their heads. You should also keep an eye out for some of the early signs of teething as they might begin around about now.

6 Months

Your baby is now half a year old! And they will now start to develop their very own personality. Plus, six-month olds are usually filled with confidence, and they will try to wave and smile at everyone who they see, even random passersby in the street! Your little one will start to get a bit more mobile right now and will want to find out about items by putting them in its mouth. So, it’s important that you keep a good eye on them so that they don’t eat anything that they shouldn’t!

7 Months

Once your child reaches seven-months old, they will need to be in a very tight routine. Babies love routines as it gives them some control and they always know what to expect next. You will find that if you ever break from your usual routine, you young child could get very cranky and annoyed. Now is also the time to start baby-proofing your house, especially in the kitchen area. Seven-month olds will be trying to explore as much as possible, so it’s important that there is nothing lying around the house that could hurt them. You might also notice that your baby starts to get a lot hungrier throughout the day. This is perfectly natural and not something that you should be worried about. It’s a good idea to introduce some mid-morning and afternoon snacks to help support their diet.

8 Months

Remember the good old days when you could place your baby down on the floor and they just stayed there? Well, those days are, unfortunately, long gone! Your baby will now be able to roll, crawl, and scoot along the floor, usually a lot quicker than you might expect! However, you shouldn’t worry if your baby can’t crawl yet. As long as they have reached other important milestones, then there shouldn’t be anything to worry about when it comes to their development. They might just be lazy! You should also notice that the baby’s language skills start to improve, even though he or she won’t be able to say any real words yet. But there will be plenty of baby words and they will soon be saying their first ‘mama’ and ‘dada’!

9 Months

Even though your baby won’t be able to speak just yet, at eight-months old you will start to notice some speech patterns. They might stick to the same baby words and noises while you talk to them. It’s about this time when babies start to experiment with facial expressions, and you might notice that your infant tries to mimic you. Trust me, this can be hilarious! One of the worst things about nine-months old, though, is that they might start to turn into very fussy eaters.

10 Months

We’re in double digits now! Did you notice that your baby became a bit pickier with their food at nine months? Well, don’t expect this to get any easier. In fact, most children become a lot more stubborn with their food once they hit ten months. You might also see an increase in their appetite as well, but this isn’t something that you should be worried about. Your baby will have probably learnt to point by now, so you should expect to be asked to get them certain items a lot more often through gestures. Some ten-month olds develop a sense of adventure and start to try to climb. Make sure you always watch them as they normally try to climb up before they have mastered the art of climbing back down!

11 Months

Your newborn baby isn’t so much of a newborn now. In fact, it’s almost their very first birthday! Your baby should now be able to grasp onto items and hold themselves up with a little help. If your child hasn’t already taken their first steps, they should do so this month. So, it’s a good idea to always keep the video camera on hand to catch this precious moment on film! Babies also start to recognize pictures and images, so they become more interested in picture books. It’s also a good idea to make sure that your baby is active every day so that they don’t pile on any excess pounds.

Don’t forget that these milestones are just averages, and there usually isn’t anything to worry about if your child is late reaching them. If you are super worried, though, take them to the doctor.

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How Stay At Home Moms Can Earn PartTime Cash

Posted on October 17, 2017

As mothers we have to juggle a lot, and what this usually means is fitting everything else in around our children. It can be tricky to balance other commitments, and one areas where many moms can struggle is with going back to work. Maybe you want to work to set a good example to your children, or perhaps you need the money. Maybe you want to stay home and raise your children yourself and devote all of your time to them. The thing with this is there isn’t a wrong or right answer, it’s all about what’s right for you and your situation.

But if you do want to get back into work, here are some options to consider.

Go Part Time

This could mean going back part time to your career, this can be useful as you can keep your skills up and if you do want to get back into full-time work later on, you’re already prepared and in the swing of it. Otherwise, it could mean getting a part time job wherever is hiring. This would allow you to build your skills up, gain experience and earn money. Places like Subway are always hiring and you don’t need skills or qualifications since these kinds of jobs will train you. You can get a Subway job application here, it’s worth considering if you need the cash and want to get back into work.

Find a Flexible Job

The very best way to balance work along with having children is to have a job which offers flexible hours. When you’re able to pick and choose the times you work it can take a lot of pressure off, because if you happen to be having a busy few days you can simply cut back on what you’re working. Having a trade or skill will allow you to do this, for example a mobile beauty therapist, nail technician, hairdresser. These kinds of jobs allow you to work independently, and you’re your own boss so there’s no one to answer to. If you’re just starting out in your career and know you will want children later down the line, considering this kind of path early on allows you to get established before the time comes.

Work From Home

You don’t even need to leave the house to earn money these days, there are lots of home based jobs you could do. It could be freelancing, blogging or a home based business- when you work for from home again you have that flexibility to choose your own hours and you don’t even need to worry about childcare. You could simply work when your kids are at school, asleep or even for a few hours in the evening when they’re having some quiet time before bed.

Juggling home life and work can be a tough balancing act. But providing you can find the right job, it’s possible to do.

Have you managed to get back to work after having children? What are your reasons for or against doing so?

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Stock up on Christmas,Thanksgiving, Hannukah and Holiday Clothing NOW!

Posted on October 15, 2017

It’s never too early to start Thanksgiving and Holiday clothing shopping for you and the kiddies! Our partners at Janie & Jack has new arrivals for families. Also, for orders over $100, enjoy free shipping on all items.

Head over there and scoop up some faves for the Holiday season. Christmas and Hanukkah pageants, musical and dance recitals and visits to the in-laws, you’ve got to make sure junior and your little princess will elicit some ooohs and aaaahs when you peel off their adorable little Navy coats to reveal looks like these:

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These Tips Will Help Your Child Be Better Behaved in Fine Dining Restaurants

Posted on October 15, 2017

Conquering the battle of good table manners and indoor voices in a high-end restaurant isn’t always easy. If you have dreams of having a top-notch dining experience with your brood in tow, there are measures you can take to help ensure that they behave well.

Work on Manners at Home

If your kids have a clear understanding of good table manners from their experiences at home, they’ll have an easier time applying them when they’re dining in a restaurant. While it’s tempting to make family dinners more relaxed and casual, they’re a great opportunity to teach younger children about dining etiquette. Older children can understand the difference between appropriate public dining behavior and the more casual rules at home, but younger ones may need more consistency in order to absorb the rules of eating in public.

Practice, Practice

Kids love to play make-believe, so an old fashioned game of Let’s Pretend might be just the tool you need to help your child learn the basics of dining etiquette. When she’s engaging in active play that stimulates her imagination as well as teaches her new skills, she’s more likely to be receptive to those things than she would be if she was being dully lectured. Work with your child in a way that she understands and speak her language. Making a game of learning table manners will not only help you impart basic social skills, it will also allow you to spend some enjoyable quality time with your children.

Choose Your Restaurant Carefully

Regardless of how well-trained your children are when it comes to good table manners, they will almost certainly struggle if they’re in an overly-stimulating environment. On the same token, five-star dining with linen tablecloths may be a bit too sedate to suit preschoolers. Kids are also notoriously picky, meaning that a child who subsists solely off of chicken nuggets and grapes will almost certainly rebel when confronted with asparagus and escargot. Even exceptionally well-behaved children are likely to contemplate mutiny when they’re in an uncomfortable environment, are forced to eat food they don’t like and aren’t allowed to have any fun. When your children are young, sticking to more family-friendly establishments with a moderate level of activity is generally the best choice.

Talk About Inside Voices

Little ones may not automatically understand the idea of using their “indoor voice” when they’re in a restaurant. Working with your child to help her understand the importance of speaking at an acceptable volume can make a noticeable difference in the way your table is treated when you’re at a restaurant.

Enforce Neatness and Cleanliness

Getting food into a toddler’s mouth without her wearing most of it is a challenge, but the other diners around you and the restaurant staff are more likely to treat you with respect when she’s not smearing condiments in her hair or finger-painting with the salad dressing. Making sure that your child understands about neatness and that you’re dedicated to helping her maintain an acceptable level of it is one of the most important parts of mastering restaurant-appropriate behavior.

Keep Your Trip Short

No matter how much time you spend working with your child to ensure proper restaurant behavior, she will eventually reach her breaking point. For very young children, anything more than about 45 minutes is just asking for trouble. Even a child that’s normally well-behaved and has been thoroughly coached will probably start to struggle if she’s forced to sit through appetizers and post-dessert coffee, so it’s best to save the leisurely meals for nights when you have a sitter.

Refuse to Reinforce Bad Habits

If your child simply will not behave in a restaurant despite your best efforts, refuse to reinforce his bad behavior by no longer allowing him to accompany you. When your child understand that his actions in a restaurant were unacceptable and have cost him the privilege of dining with the grownups next time, he’s more likely to make an effort to behave when you offer him a second chance.

Don’t allow him to run around the restaurant, no matter how much energy he has, and never accept outright rude behavior like throwing food or deliberate spilling things. Not only will you be teaching good dining etiquette, the restaurant staff and your fellow diners will thank you.

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The Secrets of Raising Happy and Healthy Girls

Posted on October 13, 2017

Moms worry about their children non-stop. Whether you have a son or a daughter, they will never be out of your thoughts. But, it is no secret that girls have it harder in life than boys. What with the peer pressure and constant body image concerns, being a child is difficult for young ladies. Then, the hormones kick in and life can become quite challenging.

It is essential for moms to guide their daughter. After all, as a mom, you have been there and purchased the t-shirt. Here are a few things to consider as your little girl grows into a young woman.

Her Body Image Isn’t Everything

All young girls see the image of a “perfect” on TV or the front of glossy mags and want the same. In all honesty, this is where the majority of body issues come from because girls feel as if they can’t be different. A mom must let her daughter know that she can be diverse and beautiful at the same time. Make sure your daughter knows that physical appearance isn’t everything and should not be the focus in life. Getting the attention of the opposite sex is not the priority or main goal in life. Let her know to be who she feels free and comfortable being and know the rest will fall into place.

But She Can Be A Girly Girl

There is a distinction between being confident in your body and enjoying the finer things in life. Let’s face it – there is that old addage, “girls will be girls just like boys will be boys.” There is nothing wrong with going out clothes shopping if you have a daughter who is into that. Don’t pressure your girl who isn’t into fashion and stereotypical “girl” things and interests. Mothers should not just indulge their daughters, but pass on their wisdom. We’ve heard when it comes to avoiding skin rashes, for example, Choosing razor blades via 99centrazor.com is an option as getting personal items online can save the embarrassment of shopping in stores. Make up tips, when the time comes and other feminine hygiene issues must be shared and handled with care. Go gently and don’t force any topic or risk having your girl push you away.

Expressing Feelings Is Natural

Some people may have negative opinions about showing one’s emotion. A person who cries and expressed their feeling outwardly may be showcasing tha tthey are well adjusted and in touch with their emotions and feelings. The truth is that she is about to enter a difficult period of her life when things will get on top of her. If she can’t express her feelings, the tension will merely build until it explodes. Whether she does it on the bus home or in her room, she shouldn’t’ be afraid to express herself. It will make teenage life much more comfortable for everyone.

Friends Are Everything

Now, she might not keep the same friends throughout her entire life because things happen. But, the people in her circle now and the ones in the future are essential. Why? It’s because they create a support group which she can use to express her feelings and discuss all the topics that make growing up a mix bag of feelings. When she knows others like her exist, life won’t appear as lonely. Girls can be hard work, what with the gossip and constant “betrayals.” But, through it all, she should know they are the only people who can understand her.

One last thing – good luck! It’s an arduous process for mothers and daughters alike.

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Study: Cultural Mimicing Impacts Unmarried, Lesser Educated Women’s Breastfeed Rates

Posted on October 12, 2017

Unmarried women and those who never completed high school are more likely to breastfeed their children if they receive in-home welfare visits from a person with shared cultural background.

A team of University of Albany researches conducted a study on over 3,500 at risk women who participate in in Healthy Families New York (HFNY), a state-wide home visiting program.

The data found that the number of times a home visitor (also known as a family support worker) addresses the subject of breastfeeding during a home visit directly correlates with the likelihood that mothers will attempt, or re-attempt, to breastfeed.

“It’s a simple message: If you talk about it, [mothers] will try to initiate breastfeeding,” said Eunju Lee, assistant professor in the School of Social Welfare.

But it was more than that.

If the mean number of visits addressing breastfeeding increases by 10 percent, the mother’s likelihood of breastfeeding increases by 15 percent, said Sandra McGinnis, senior research scientist at the school’s Center for Human Services Resources (CHSR).

“I think it’s compelling to know that the behavior of the home visitor, in terms of initiating these discussions, does make a difference for this group,” McGinnis said. “Some of their issues are rather intractable, so seeing any positive outcomes with such a vulnerable population is noteworthy.”

Home visitors discussing breastfeeding lead to increased in more new moms nursing independent of ethnicity, education, income and other factors that would generally predict breastfeeding outcomes.

“Even though [breastfeeding] is a mother’s instinctual behavior, there are huge disparities due to race, age and most likely social class,” McGinnis said. “It’s a tremendously difficult task to encourage [at-risk mothers] to breastfeed, but sending the right message does help improve these statistics.”

During the prenatal period, FSWs made biweekly visits, increasing to weekly visits following a child’s birth and until the child was six months old, according to the findings. This kind of support is often lacking in at-risk households, which helps to explain the behavioral divide between breastfeeding and non-breastfeeding mothers.

And it’s not enough to simply talk about breastfeeding. Tailoring a conversation to individual needs is key, Lee said.

“This is a concept that HFNY likes to call a ‘cultural broker,’ but in the same way, [home visitors] are health brokers; they are helping mothers digest important messages,” she said. “They are saying, ‘What are your worries?’”

To facilitate understanding and to minimize judgment, HFNY home visitors ideally come from the same cultural background and geographic area as the community they serve, McGinnis said, adding, “It’s not just pushing [mothers] to breastfeed, but a good home visitor will help them with problem solving.”

Lee stated that the study had a broader objective to not only to analyze data, but to make real improvements in how the HFNY program and programs like it are implemented.

“We are not only interested in generating knowledge,” she said. “What it’s really about, especially with social service research, is how are we going to improve people’s lives?”

The study’s results could impact other aspects of early childhood development. Improving breastfeeding rates among at-risk mothers can be a stepping stone to tackling other important health topics such as vaccinations, infant mortality rate and safe sleep, McGinnis said.

“This particular message is about breastfeeding, but I think the implication here is that home visiting programs are one mechanism by which disadvantaged families can be reached with public health messages,” she said.

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6 Fun and Easy Ways You and Your Family Can Organize Charity Work

Posted on October 11, 2017

Do you want to do some good in the world? There are various ways you can go about this, such as volunteering or working with children to create a better future for them. But have you thought about hosting a charity event to try and raise some funds for a worthy cause? There are lots of different types of fundraisers you might want to organize, all of which are guaranteed to make a lot of extra cash for your charity of choice.

The main problem with holding a charity event is trying to decide which one to do. There are so many different things you could try! Here are some of the most successful charity events which you might want to consider.

A Bake Sale

If you want to join with some of your colleagues, family, or friends and club together to raise some money for charity, you could always organize a bake sale. After all, everyone loves cakes and cookies! Plus, it’s very easy to do as well. All you need to do is bake a selection of cakes, cookies, and other sweet treats, and then sell them. This is the perfect thing to do if you want to raise some money at work. You just need to take some cakes into the office and sell slices to all your hungry co-workers! You will find that many schools also regularly hold bake sales as the kids can take in their own bakes and then buy their friends’ cakes to try. If you aren’t too sure what to bake for a sale, you can see plenty of tasty ideas at bbcgoodfood.com.

A Raffle

Another event that is incredibly easy to organize is a raffle. Again, this is something that is easy to do in an office or a school. You just need to get everyone to bring in a prize. This can be anything from a box of chocolates, gift set, or teddy bear. If there are only going to be adults taking part in the raffle, you might want to add some alcoholic prizes, such as wine baskets. You can get more wine basket ideas at the-fund-raiser.com amongst other charitable ideas. You should then sell raffle tickets to people. You can often buy these online or in toy shops. Once you have sold all of the tickets, you then carry out the raffle draw and see who has got a winning ticket! All the money from the ticket sales should go towards your charity.

A Charity Dinner

Raffles and bake sales are relatively easy to plan. However, they aren’t the biggest fundraisers around. If you want to raise a significant amount of money for charities, then you might want to host a bigger event, such as a charity dinner. The majority of charity dinners are fairly formal affairs and feature a three-course meal in an upmarket restaurant or venue. As you can probably tell, this will cost quite a bit of money to successfully host, but it has the potential of raising a lot of money as you can price the tickets at slightly higher than average. Plus, you can have some mini fundraising activities throughout the dinner, such as a charity auction or a raffle.

Charity Car Wash

For a fun day that the kids can join in with, why not plan a charity car wash. Spend a few weeks trying to recruit other car washers with you – you may want to ask your children’s’ friends or your own friends and relatives, and then set a date for the big car wash. You will need to find a car park where you can do this – one good idea is asking your children’s school or your work’s office if you can do it on their property. Then you just need to let people know that you will be there on the date and ready to wash peoples’ cars. This is a really great way to spend a day with your friends and family, and if it is a hot summer’s day, you can really have some fun with the water! Just make sure that everyone does a good job of washing the vehicles, and then people will be very likely to return to you if you hold another charity car wash in the future!

Charity Christmas Singalong

The festive holidays are just a few months away, so you might want to start thinking about the kinds of Christmas charity events you could organize. And what better than planning a Christmas singalong. It will certainly be an event that the whole family will enjoy, and something that you could organize along with your local school. You just need to organize a night for the concert and then sell tickets to families. During the evening, they can watch bands play their favorite Christmas carols and songs, and join in for a good singalong. It’s a great way to help everyone get into the festive spirit! You might want to put on some catering for the evening, such as drinks and snacks, so remember to plan for this expense in your budget.

Take Up A Challenge

Of course, if you don’t like the idea of organizing a whole event, then why not take part in a solo challenge in aid of charity? There are lots of things you might want to do, from marathons and Ironman challenges to dance-a-thons and skydives. In the few weeks before your big challenge, you just need to get lots of people to sponsor you. And don’t forget to practice if you are undertaking a huge sporting challenge! The best thing about taking part in these kinds of charities is that they are easy to find sponsorship for, and you can feel extra proud of yourself once you have completed it!

There is plenty that you can try and organize for charity. Why not try a few different activities and events to try and raise as much cash for your chosen charity as possible?! Good luck with your event!

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