Parenting

Tackle Procrastination in Kids By Understanding What Motivates Them to Get Things Done

Posted on July 21, 2017

Mary Lamia, Ph.D.*

Melissa always gets things done ahead of time and enjoys the relief she feels as she crosses tasks off her list. This was the case, she recalls, as far back as grammar school where she didn’t feel good about going out to play until her homework was finished. In contrast, her older son, Tyler, seems to have a very different way of doing things. Similar to how his dad recalls how he got things done in school, Tyler plays first and does homework later, often finishing minutes before his strict bedtime. Much to Melissa’s displeasure, Tyler uses their short commute to school as time to study for various tests. She gave up lecturing him on time management since, as Tyler’s dad constantly reminds her, Tyler’s grades are excellent. Melissa can easily identify with the way her younger son, Anthony, gets things done—he has an urgency to do things right away, whether it is his homework or packing for a trip. But Anthony’s way of doing things leads to occasional conflict with his dad, such as the time he insisted on finishing a project before going on an outing.

Motivational styles generally develop at a young age, and many people can link their particular style to memories of completing school assignments or everyday tasks. Where some people put things off until a deadline looms, others seem compelled to complete tasks immediately. Does procrastination interfere with success? Definitely not. Those who wait are just as likely to be successful as people who complete tasks ahead of time. The ultimate goals to keep in mind have to do with consistently meeting deadlines and using one’s best efforts.

The different timing of procrastinators and non-procrastinators to complete tasks has to do with when their emotions are activated and what activates them. Procrastinators who consistently complete tasks on time—even if it’s at the last moment—are motivated by emotions that are activated when a deadline is imminent. They are deadline driven. In contrast to procrastinators, task-driven people faced with uncompleted tasks are compelled to take action right away. Motivated by their emotions to complete a task ahead of schedule and put it behind them, those who are successful attend to the quality of their work prior to scratching the task off their list.

Early childhood response patterns to emotion—such as when emotion was activated that motivated you to complete your homework or clean your room—continue to influence how you tend to get things done throughout your life. You might assume you did these things just because you were supposed to do them. Although you may not have been aware of feeling a particular emotion but instead only thoughts such as, “I should do my homework,” I can assure you that emotion was present that motivated you to do it or not. These early life experiences, at some point, solidify into characteristic emotional responses to tasks and lead to a particular style of getting things done.

Both children and the adults in their lives can benefit from understanding the source of what motivates them. Mistakenly, many parents and teachers believe only positive emotions motivate children in a healthy way. Yet how many children have a motivational system that will trigger the emotion of excitement, for example, in response to several pages of math problems or taking out the garbage? Although children can be motivated by anticipating they will feel positive emotions that result in pride, often what motivates a child to get something done also has to do with their response to negative emotions, such as the avoidance of shame or guilt, or relief from distress (often experienced as a fear of failure or a fear of forgetting).

Just because we experience a negative emotion about a task to complete does not mean we should avoid getting something done or be punished for what is felt. Moreover, many children are confused when they do not feel any positive emotion about a task that is before them, as though that’s always how they should always feel. Instead, caregivers who can be playful with their awareness of how the human motivational system works can activate interest or excitement about the relief that will be felt in completing a dreaded task, along with pride in the outcome.

*Author of What Motivates Getting Things Done: Procrastination, Emotions, and Success (Rowman and Littlefield). Website: http://www.marylamia.com

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Parenting Hacks for New Parents

Posted on July 20, 2017

Congratulations!

You just brought your precious new baby home from the hospital! It is hard to believe that after nine long months of growing this brand new person, your little one is now sleeping soundly in the nursery for the moment, that is!

To say that the next weeks will be an exciting and sleep-deprived blur is probably an understatement. Fortunately, there are a number of tips to try that will help make the daily challenges of taking care of an infant to go a bit smoother. Check out the following three new parent hacks:

Turn to Technology to Help with Your Calendar

It is amazing how the smallest member of your home can have such a full calendar. From well-baby checks and photo shoots to keeping tabs of when grandma and grandpa are coming to visit, keeping a well-organized calendar will help you to feel on top of things. To make this as easy as possible, turn to your phone for help. If it’s been some time since you have upgraded your smartphone, you may want to head over to T-Mobile with your napping baby to check out their selection of affordable phones; look for one that features a virtual assistant for quickly adding and organizing your calendar. A virtual assistant, like the iPhone’s Siri, can also help you with your grocery lists and keep tabs on your daily to do list. When you are snuggling a sleeping infant, it will be much easier to quietly say “Siri, add diapers to the grocery list” instead of trying to juggle a pencil, baby and your little bundle of joy.

Use the Neck Hole of a Onesie as an Escape Hatch

You probably have a pretty decent stack of onesies for your infant; the cotton outfits are comfy, easy to put on your infant and wash up well. As Pop Sugar notes, they also feature a huge neck hole and shoulder flaps that are designed to do more than fit over your infant’s bobble head. If and when your baby has a massive diaper blow out, the head opening was designed so that you can slip it down off of your baby’s body, thus avoiding getting any poo where you don’t want it to go.

Invest in a Car Seat Cooler

As you have probably already noticed, car seats can get really hot, especially those metal clips and the buckles that hold your infant safely in place. In order to help keep the car seat as cool as possible, you can purchase a car seat cover; Amazon sells the Mommy’s Helper Car Seat Shade for around seven bucks; place the cover over the seat when you are back home and at the store or mall; it should help reduce how much heat the seat absorbs. If you live in a really warm climate, there’s also the COOLTECH Car Seat Cooler that works like a giant ice pack. Keep the car seat cooler in the freezer when not in use and then around 10 minutes before you head out, place it on the empty car seat; in the time it takes you to gather up your baby, the diaper bag and put your shoes on, the car seat will be cooled down. Remove the cooler before placing your baby in the seat; you can fold up the cover and bring it with you in the diaper bag.

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Mandela Day Revisited: 5 Lessons Kids Can Learn From Nelson Mandela

Posted on July 19, 2017

This week was Nelson Mandela International Day, a day dedicated to the late great Nelson Mandela, the beloved leader and former president of the South Africa.

Mandela Day commemorates the lifetime of service Nelson Mandela gave to South Africa and the world. It was launched on his birthday, 18 July, in 2009 via a unanimous decision by the UN General Assembly.

Here are five things that Nelson Mandela personified, and taught us, in simplified language for children:

1. Courage – There are many people who see injustice and wrong but do nothing. It is easier to do nothing. It is safer.

When Nelson Mandela was a young man he saw his people suffering from the white minority rule of his country. He saw his people suffering from inequality, injustice, prejudice, bias and discrimination and he had the courage to risk his life and the lives of his close loved ones to stand up for change.

For his defiance, he was sentenced to prison, a sentence of hard labor.

What had happened was that under Dutch Rule, and during Colonial times, South Africa was colonized under a system of government which forced the native people to live in segregation. South Afrikaners were only allowed to live in certain areas of their own birth land, their movements were restricted and they were forced to carry identification cards to validate their existence.

The people of South Africa were delegated to second class citizen status.

Many knew this was wrong but they were not strong enough to stand up to the leaders who enforced the stringent biased policies that ruled the land. Nelson Mandela was one that stood up. He organized other young, revolutionaries willing to risk everything for change. They were courageous.

2. Perseverance – As expected, those who were in power and control did not appreciate a rebel stirring up the masses, empowering them to speak up for themselves to demand justice and equality. Mandela was put in prison for 27 years in the hope that his absence would rob the people of their will to fight.

The oppressors hoped his absence from their sight, his voice silenced, would blanket the uprisings.

It did not work. While in prison, Mandela wrote letters and contemplated his life and struggles. Meanwhile, those on the outside became more outraged over his imprisonment and continued to fight. Others, in nations including the United States, put pressure on the government to not only release Mandela but to abandon their system of government which denied people basic liberties simply because of the color of their skin.

Mandela persevered. Eventually he was set free.

3.Forgiveness – When someone hurts another person, it takes a lot of strength to forgive that person. Although Mandela was put in jail for standing up to ill-treatment of himself and others, he chose to not harbor ill-will towards those who placed him in a tiny cell simply for demanding change.

Mandela turned the other cheek, deciding to abandon any violent means he may have condoned in the past to revolt against those who had invaded his land and made it their own.

By this time, generations of colonizers had been born in South Africa too. It had become their native land as well. So Mandela worked with all: Black or white the new face of South Africa had changed.

Eventually, he won the trust of many people, earning their respect to become the first democratically elected black president of South Africa. Before then, all presidents were of the Dutch race of the original colonizers.

As a leader, Mandela forgave those that imprisoned him and segregated his people. He was a president for all.

4.Humility – After just one term, Madiba, (a name of honor that people used to refer to Mandela), decided that he had done enough. He decided against running for another term in office and stepped aside to make room for others to rule.

That gesture is almost unheard of and is uncommon, not just in Africa but around the world because leaders who have power very rarely want to give it up. Mandela’s term in office was just four years.

Mandela embodies what it meant to be humble.

5.Progress – Since then, the nation of South Africa has progressed substantially. There is ample opportunity for all children and people from all races to do what they want to if they work hard.

Since President Mandela, South Africa has had several black presidents as well as other government officials. Children go to school together and are not separated because of their skin color.

The nation still has challenges, but the people of South Africa are working on them together as one.

Certainly, politics have colored some people’s decisions to disregard the net sum contribution Mandela left on the world instead focusing on minutiae to justify their judgment.

There are those who lose sight of the big picture instead nitpicking various insular reports, decisions or incidents in Mandela’s life that they disliked.

But in a lifetime that spanned nearly 100 years, there are two options that can be taken:

One can choose to excuse their own nations’ Founding Fathers and the respective roles those historic leaders played in allowing the atrocities inflicted on fellow human beings of a different and darker hue (slaves).

They will disregard how historically, it has been necessary to resort to violence to overthrow colonizers and oppressors.

People can opt to selectively invoke a moral high ground in the case of Mandela and in the same breath discount the massive sum of what he represented for millions of oppressed people.

Or two, they can choose to be on the right side of history which will acknowledge Madiba’s role in inspiring and empowering a generation, uniting and bringing together a subsequent generation.

The choice should be simple.

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My Chronicles as A Cable Cord-Cutting Family

Posted on July 17, 2017

So… after another year of paying close to $3,000 for a bundled cable, internet and TV package deal and paying for channels that we don’t watch and services we don’t use (landline phone), the hubby and I decided to join the world of cable cutters!

Tread Into It Cautiously

The idea of cutting the cable cord, or giving up traditional multi-channel video programming providers (also known as cable television service), always scared me.

I’ve always been resistant to the idea because modern cable services come in a bundle of services that include landline telephone service. You know a phone that is connected to a telephone cord that is connected to telecommunications lines in the ground created decades ago. Those are ancient but they are dependable and reliable compared to wireless phones. In the interest of safety and security, I’ve always felt being able to connect with emergency services required traditional (POTS aka plain old telephone system).

A landline telephone is a dedicated residential link to the world, something very necessary in an emergency.

I’m not thinking the zombie apocalypse is coming but moreso in the instance of a huge storm that knocks our home off the power grid. What happens when we lose the ability to charge our mobile phones in our home, and our portable charges all run out of power, then all five people in our home who each own a wireless mobile phone phones would eventually die, and then if we ran out of gas of our two vehicles in the driveway depriving us of the ability to use the car to charge the phone, and the power generator died and then we’d be out of luck and unable to make or receive calls to emergency personnel or to call for help.

I admit. That’s a lot of “ifs”, “then” and hypothetical conditions that would have to occur in order to really experience a problem.

I was forced to ask myself if the $300 monthly bundled service bill (including all the local, state and federal fees, and taxes tacked on to the bill) is really worth the unlikely risk.

The answer is no.

Fear of Losing Precious Local TV

Other than the fear of losing landline telephone access, my only other hesitance was my interest in local channels. Before cable even existed and today now, you can get free over the air television via a TV and an antenna that you tune to get a signal.

Local TV is important.

Local TV provides local weather, traffic and local news and alerts. When you have a family, it is essential to be connected to what’s going on in your immediate community for your saftey, health and well being. Recalls, warnings about spikes in crime, incoming storm alerts are all things we need to know. It is not an option and a non-negotiable.

My family and I live in a heavily wooded town and so over-the-air antenna is not an option and therefore, I would need cable to be able to access local channels because antennas and other over-the-air tools would do nothing to deliver us clear free TV.

Before I did the research to see if streaming services offer Local TV and Live Local TV nowadays, I put that concern aside temporarily and set off to experiment to see how easy (or hard) it would be to join the cord-cutters society.

So Let’s Do this: First Up -Television

The first challenge was finding a streaming service to access all the channels, movies and other video programming we currently watch and love. Our kids enjoy all the children’s television options and we have one kid who adores the nature, Discovery and animal channels. My husband required all the sports channels to access soccer, and essentially all other sports. On his must have list was Fox Sports, NBC Sports and ESPN. I’m currently hooked on a few shows on TNT, AMC, Starz and HBO and I am an avid watcher of the Bravo TV Housewives shows (my guilty pleasure).

More options than traditional cable

What I discovered quickly is that there are a lot of video programming streaming services available currently. I knew Netflix and Hulu existed and were/are the current industry leaders in video streaming. Since those two took off, several other streaming services have launched. These include Sling TV, Amazon Prime, Playstation Vue, DirectTV Now and the newest YouTube TV. Here is a quick summary from Tom’s Guide:

1.HULU – If you want to keep current with the latest TV shows but don’t feel like investing in a cable subscription or an HD antenna, Hulu is the best solution. This service provides access to most major network shows (aside from CBS’ programs) and a handful of cable shows the day after they air. It also lets subscribers access a show’s current season — or often all of the program’s seasons. In addition, the service hosts a number of original shows (including joint ventures with the BBC, like The Wrong Mans and season 4 of The Thick of It), a selection of offbeat movies and a surprising amount of classic anime series. Even with a paid subscription, you have to sit through commercials, but far fewer than if you watched the same shows on cable. It cost $8 per month.

It added Live TV streaming recently for $40 per month. Along with more than 50 channels of live TV, in the new Hulu with Live TV from local channels ABC, CBS, Fox and NBC in select cities plus a solid slate of cable channels, including ESPN, CNN, TNT, Bravo, HGTV, Cartoon Network, Lifetime, the Disney Channel and more (Disclosure: CBS is the parent company of CNET and Showtime.) You also get 50 hours’ worth of cloud DVR storage and an all-new interface.

You can get 45 days free!

2. Netflix – The great-granddaddy of streaming services remains the best. As you probably know, Netflix provides unlimited streaming of TV shows, movies, comedy specials and original programming (including Orange Is the New Black, House of Cards and the fourth season of Arrested Development) for one monthly subscription fee. No other service has yet given Netflix an honest-to-goodness run for its money in terms of selection, quality and performance consistency. You can even create up to five different profiles on a single account to make sure that your favorite content doesn’t mess up recommendations for your friends and loved ones.This is one of the original streaming services and currently going for $12. It too offers a free month!

3. Amazon Prime – For those who do most of their shopping online, Amazon Prime is a no-brainer. For $99 per year, you get free two-day shipping on your purchases, a free Kindle book each month, and unlimited access to both Amazon Music and Amazon Prime Instant Video. Like Netflix, Amazon Prime Instant Video is a veritable buffet of movies, television and original programming, like Alpha House, Transparent and Mozart in the Jungle. Thanks to a deal with Viacom — which controls Comedy Central, MTV and Nickelodeon — Amazon Prime arguably has a better selection of comedy and children’s programming than its competitors. The service also offers unlimited access to an extensive collection from HBO’s back catalog of classics such as The Sopranos and The Wire. The separate Amazon Video provides easy access to current movies, but it’s an à la carte service. You can pay just $10 with your prime membership to skip the upfront cost. You can get a free month too.

4. SlingTV – If you like the idea of a cable subscription but feel it’s just too expensive and offers more content than you want, Sling TV might provide a happy medium for you. On paper, Sling sounds a lot like a traditional cable service: Pay a monthly subscription fee in exchange for about thirty real-time channels. But there’s no contract and no set-top box rental fee. Sling is especially handy for sports fans, as it offers a variety of ESPN channels. For cord-cutting sports fans, this alone is worth the price. Other popular networks, like NBC, BBC America, CNN, Cartoon Network, TBS and the Food Network, sweeten the deal. If you sign up for Sling Blue, which is the service’s multi-stream option, and bundle it with the more bare-bones Orange, the combo will cost you $40 per month. This service is $20 per month and also offers 7 days free and a free Roku Express when you order.

5. DirecTVNow – (Not from Tom’s but CNET) DirecTV Now has most of the live channels offered by your local cable provider, without hidden fees or contracts or extra equipment (no satellite dish required). The $35 a month introductory price for 100 channels is an amazing value. You can add HBO or Cinemax for just $5 a month each.AT&T owned Satellite company is the satellite company DirectTV’s reaction to Cord Cutters. After launching, it picked up 200,000 subscribers in a few weeks. No CBS, and live ABC, Fox and NBC only available in a handful of major cities. No cloud DVR (for now), so you can’t schedule recordings. or cable cord-cutters and the cut-curious who prioritize live TV over on-demand access, DirecTV Now is a very good value.

6. Playstation Vue – about as close as you can get to a cable subscription without actually getting a cable company involved. The service, which is available on a wide variety of systems, is Sony’s first foray into delivering live TV to its customers. Choose from four different packages: Access ($50 per month), which gives you basic channels, Core ($55 per month), which adds sports, Elite ($65 per month), which adds niche programming and Ultra ($75 per month), which adds certain premium channels. Although the service is expensive, it provides up to 90 live channels – including local sports and news – and lets you record your favorite shows.

7YouTube TV – is the newest service that is a direct competitor to cable TV. You get live local TV channels like ABC, CBS, Fox and NBC as well as cable stalwarts like ESPN, the Disney Channel, Fox News and Bravo. It’s only available in five US metropolitan areas for now: Los Angeles, New York, Chicago, Philadelphia and the San Francisco Bay Area. Watch it on a regular TV with a Chromecast. YouTube says more cities will be added in the coming months. It will offer Live TV in coming months as well. As CNET notes, there’s no CNN or TNT, no Comedy Central or HGTV, no Lifetime or MTV. YouTube gets credit for local channels, sports and Bravo, but for many people that’s just not enough for the price which is $35 per month. Start for free and get 6 accounts per household.

Wow! That’s a lot of options compared to traditional cable.

Currently, I only have two options. As I said before, I live in a heavily wooded town with no clear view of the sky, so HughesNet, Dish and DirectTV satellite services are not an option leaving me with just xFinity by Comcast and FiOs by Verizon.

If I become in happy I can go to the other, but what happens when I become unhappy with the alternative? I’ve had both, on an alternating basis.

That’s no way to live, man!

The Tech Part of Streaming I love: Conduit and Content Are Separate

With traditional cable, the coaxial cable, and now, fiber optics that bring service to your home (the conduit) is provided by the same company that packages and brings you the content. That’s power. You pay for video programming service and pay to rent the proprietary set-top box, through only which, you can access the video programming.

There has been an ongoing fight to require cable companies to make their set-top boxes available at retail locations or to permit commercial competitors to be used with the service. This move would relieve the choke hold on customers.

The rental of the set-top box can add an extra $120 or more tacked on to your bill for the year, depending on how many TVs you have in your home.

With streaming, the devices that permit the streaming are sold at retail locations for as little as $12 in some instances and a lot of these streaming services will throw one in for free if you sign a 6 month contract. Winning!

Watch market competition and capitalism at work here!

Streaming Brings Down the Cost of Video Programming Set Top box to $29 from $495

As stated above, with streaming, the service, the conduit is usually an Amazon FireStick, a Chromecast or a Roku Streaming Stick that run from $29 to $59, which is nominal one time price compared to a cable set top box which would cost from $150 to $459 a year, every year, to rent from the “cable” company.

Streaming Brings Down the Cost of Video Programming Service to $8 from $99

If you had mid-tier cable service, likely you paid close to $100 per month for it (Separate from a bundle) and there are a lot of channels you don’t watch. As noted above, you can get streaming service for as little as $8 per month.

That too was a big fight at the FCC not long ago and still it is very difficult to get a la carte tier of services so you can pick the few channels you watch and pay just for those channels. Some cable companies offer a la cart packages but they end up costing a lot of money after you add taxes and fees!

Soon, even they are not even worth it when you consider if you pay more, you get tons mpr options, you may not watch but at least, you have the option.

With streaming, everything is a la Carte and if you want to add premium channels or additional packages of content, then you can for an extra $5 to $8 per month.

That’s still a big slash in price compared to a $100 monthly bill .

No Commitment or Long Term Contracts

The other benefit to these streaming services is that once you purchase them, you pay as you go and are not obligated to stay with them for a year or longer or risk paying high early termination fees.

True Competition and Options

I love the true competition in the cord cutting world. We have the ability to move or dump a service if we aren’t happy. Consumers only have to deal with a month of non-satisfaction and can sign up for a competitor. How sweet is that?

A lot of us consumers just feel trapped in a situation a lot of times with no where to go! Mor options are best!

Streaming is Compatible with Modern Families – It Works like How we Watch TV Anyway

Oh yeah. One other concern and fear I had before considering cutting the cord: the absence of Live TV. I thought about that some and figured that we no longer watch TV the same way we did 5 years ago anyway.

Nowadays, we DVR most of the shows we watch or catch them On-Demand. We rarely watch shows when they air Live for the first time.

The exception is possibly Live Sports or very popular shows that one might want to live Tweet or watch with others in social media.

Both are among the category of shows you need to watch before bumping into spoilers online.

And because technology and competition work best, a lot of the streaming platforms offer Live TV now, even local TV, to meet the demands of customers who can just leave them at any time because they are not tied to any long-term contract.

Local TV

Similarly, a lot of streaming services are offering live TV, the only hold over or thing that would have held be back before.

One more problem: Internet conundrum and Quality of Service

The final conundrum comes from getting broadband internet.

Streaming eats up bandwidth and requires wireless connectivity. Hmmmm. After cable cutting, we have a few options for connecting.

We started off by just tethering our unlimited data plan phones with the TVs. Each of us have mobile devices with that option. But there would be a problem if we have guests in the home and none of us are at home to tether our phones to the TVs.

We return to the original issue of having limited options.

We can only get Verizon and xFinity. Because we don’t have satellite capability, like mentioned above, broadband satellite is not an option.

There are other broadband home services that serve our town but they are for businesses only.

Finally, after calling around, searching and scoping out options, I came up with the solution: buy a hotspot just for the house!

I got Verizon Wireless Jetpack 4G LTE Mobile Hotspot—AC791L. It can be used for up to 24 hours to connect up to 15 Wi–Fi–enabled devices such as laptops and tablets to Verizon wireless’ large and mostly very very reliable 4G LTE network. You can even use it to charge a smartphone.

The only drawback is we are back to commitments.

It cost just $49.99 per month but if we stay for two years. * le sigh *!

It’s a deal I’m willing to take because the cost savings, freedom and flexibility of cable cutting makes it all worth it!

Net Neutrality

The last issue is that, generally, when you rely on mobile broadband, companies cap your streaming upload and download capacity after you reach a certain point. Ours is 10 kpbs, then our streaming capacity drops to 3 kbps.

That’s terrible because it means our TV would lag, buffer and our video watching experience has been diminished once we reach the cap. We would have to work around it by doing our own personal data management by day so by the evening when have enough left over to enjoy streaming. We have multiple devices that each have Their own cap so this will take work and coordination but again, this is a small challenge to cord-cutting.

It’s the price to pay.

Now that I am getting my feet wet as a cord-cutter, I am experiencing that buffer. I have unlimited wireless but after a certain max, the company will limit my upload and download speed to ensure the network is efficient. Unlike traditional broadband, which provides a dedicated fiber to home conduit, over-the-air or wireless broadband are limited by things like weather, congestion and high use during peak hours.

The argument of the FCC regulated legacy companies is that they need the flexibility to maintain the quality and efficient management of their network, and suppressing would-be “band width hogs” like cord cutters that stream is required to do so.

There is a fight in Washington, DC that has been going on for close to a decade now over a complex term called Network Neutrality.

Essentially, there is a movement to require the traditional and legacy telecom and video programming companies, called “carriers”, that provide direct-to-home or direct-to-consumer to give all users the same amount of bandwidth at the same price; and to not discriminate by giving affiliated services, partners or related offerings preferential treatment than those not associated with them.

So in other words, AT&T or DirectTV customers shouldn’t be given a better experience or deal because they also have AT&T wireless to the detriment of customers of other wireless providers.

(btw; they do. Streaming is included for AT&T wireless companies)

That’s the neutrality part. The road has been bumpy and the side that wins changes with the administration because the FCC is neutral but still whatever political party is in the White House, the chair and power shifts to that party, to put it bluntly.

The carriers argue that they need ultimate control to manage their network efficiently and shouldn’t have the government mandating their activity.

The counter argument is that you cannot trust them to not discriminate or make poor choices because they are motivated by maximizing profit over the needs of consumers, and without government mandates, the carriers have no incentive to keep prices low for consumers.

I can understand that perspective but I have already seen market competition at work and am still experiencing it now as a new cord cutter. There are constant and non stop offerings, updates, improvements and flexibility in the streaming world.

There are updates almost daily we see coming from the 7+ current streaming services shows that sometimes, the marketplace works just fine.

Because I am not tied by a contract, I remain a potential customer to all the companies offering streaming. The cost of getting me to switch is less and the likelihood of winning a competitor’s customers is high as we are not hampered by the threat of early termination fees.

It is indeed possible that marketplace solutions would work just fine.

I’ve been a telecom lawyer and tech policy writer for a long time in my other life. It is one thing to argue policy, from an abstract and theoretical perspective, but when you experience it first hand like I am as a cable cutter, you get a different perspective as a customer actually impacted by policy.

We’re still figuring it all out. My husband is totally intimidated and frustrated because he doesn’t really know how to work the remote control or all the tech involved. He is an engineer but I am the resident tech expert.

Him listening to me explain kbps to him is like me listening to him explain what he does at his job. ha!

We’ll keep you updated. So far so good!

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How to Identify if Your Kid is Being Bullied and Take It On

Posted on July 15, 2017

Once upon a time, bullying was regarded as a natural part of childhood and frequently attributed to “kids being kids.” These days, however, bullying is making headlines. Awareness of bullying and the inherent dangers it can pose has risen dramatically, but that doesn’t stamp the problem out altogether.

With modern technology making it easier than ever for bullies to access their victims around the clock, it’s important for a parent to understand and recognize signs of bullying. Bullying can range from physically attacking someone to verbally assaulting them and from gossiping about people to cyber bullying them

Cyber bullying includes harassing or intimidating behavior via emails, text messages or social media sites. Because you can’t protect your child from everything she’ll encounter when you’re not there with her, it’s best to teach your child appropriate ways of avoiding such encounters or, if necessary, standing up to a bully without physical retaliation.

Recognize

Children who are bullied are at an increased risk of depression, anxiety and low self-esteem. According to a study published in the Archives of Pediatric Medicine, children who are bullied are also more likely to contemplate suicide. If you notice your child complaining of aches and pains as a way of avoiding school, or if you notice abnormal bumps and bruises, it’s time to start asking questions. If they can’t explain certain injuries, missing articles of clothing or poor school performance, a bully might be the culprit. If your child is old enough to use social media sites, check in with them in regards to online accounts as well. Set boundaries and request access to the sites if things aren’t adding up.

Vocalize

If you suspect that your child is being bullied, start a conversation that allows him to speak freely without fear of judgment. Encourage him to speak up about his concerns regarding what’s going on at school. Ask him to describe the occurrences, how often they happen and who is involved. Ask him if any other children or adults have witnessed the accounts and find out what he has done so far to try and stop the bullying. Brainstorm ideas of how to avoid encountering harassing situations. Involve your child in this conversation; it will help them visualize appropriate ways of responding to a pestering bully. Be supportive in the discussion, but remain calm. It might be heart wrenching to hear your child talk openly about these types of situations, but it is important to be a calm influence, rather than another angry voice.

Socialize, Mobilize, Empathize

Encourage your child to stick with a group of friends when walking home from school, riding the bus or eating lunch in the cafeteria. Let your child know that it’s okay to ask adults or other school officials to accompany them. Bullies tend to target kids that stand out. Encouraging new hobbies and interests might help your child make new friends and find a circle of people with similar interests. If the bully is persistent, don’t endorse verbal retaliation or physical violence. Teach them and encourage them to maintain their composure, tell them to turn and walk away.

Children start to learn to empathize at an early age. Encouraging your child to empathize with the bully is a way of teaching compassion. If compassion is present, forgiveness is soon to follow, which can remove much of the emotional burden of being bullied. At the very least, it may help reduce the long term psychological effects of having been bullied as a child.

Follow-Up

Keep checking in with your child, even if it seems the bullying has subsided. Sometimes kids will become embarrassed that the harassment has continued and may feel both hopeless to stop it and mortified that they are repeatedly a target. Keep the lines of communication open. If the bullying hasn’t ceased, contact the appropriate authorities.

Getting the school principal, bus driver or class teacher involved and aware of the problem is a good start, and will provide extra sets of eyes and ears when you can’t be with your child. It is also worth an attempt to contact the parents of the bully. Be prepared for a defensive response or outright denial, however. Many parents find it difficult or impossible to believe that they could raise a bully and may refuse to accept the situation on principle. By making them aware of the problem and attempting to calmly enlist their help in remedying the difficult situation your child is in, you may be able to get the parents of your child’s bully involved in a way that will have a lasting impact.

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These Kids, Maternity & Baby Stuff Deals Are going FAST!

Posted on July 14, 2017

So Groupon wasn’t interested in letting Amazon Prime have all the fun! It is hosting its own doorbuster mid season sale and today is the Friday.

The deal site is offering its usual up to 85% off on select local deals, activities, goods and more.

During this week and ending on July 15 for some offers and July 18 for others, the Black Friday Bonanza, has even deeper pricing cuts across tons of deals from tech, toys, home, auto, beauty and also… gifts! It’s really never too early to start shopping for holidays gift and beat the rush.

Just a heads up though, hot deals will have an earlier end date (noted in red text).

We scoped out the hundreds of items on sale and picked out a few steals for parents, moms and expecting women.

Children’s Urinal Pottty Removable Toilet Pee Training – $39.42 down to $6.99

2. Spectra S2 Hospital-Grade Double Electric Breast Pump – 180 down to $116.99 (ends 7/15) – $119.99 down to $74.99

3. BenBat Kids’ Hardshell Backpack and Lunch Bundle (2-Piece)

4. Striker-X 720p HD Camera RC Drone – from 159 to $49.99

5. Adelina Designer Double Stroller – From$199.99 to $84.99

6. Licensed Maserati 6V Children’s Ride-On Car from $299 to $154.99

7. Ergonomic 360 Cool Air Breathable Baby Carrier from $179. to $89

Motorola Digital Video Baby Monitor with WiFi from $179.99 to $129.99
Portable Toilet Potty Training Ladder Step Seat with Anti-Skid Feet From $59.99 to $18.99
Kids Infant Lil’ Loo Potty Training Toilet From $19.99 to $8.79
Let’s Learn to Read 10-DVD Collection by Rock ‘N Learn From $129 to $29.99

12. Nursing Bra for Breastfeeding with Bra Extender for Maternity Clothes From $35.99 to $19.88

13 Carter’s Boy’s Water Sneakers From $30 to $15.9913.

14 Over-the-Shoulder Maternity Dress From $69.99 to $29.99

15. Women’s Maternity Ruched Tunic Tank Tops (3-Pack) From $69.99 to $34.99

Women’s Cowl Neck Ruched Maternity Dress From $79.99 to $24.99

17. Women’s Maternity Maxi Dress with Tummy-Support Band From $76.50 to $24.99

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Educator Schools: Two Ways East Asian Parents Are Different From Us

Posted on July 13, 2017

Editor’s Note: I’m still reading The Drive to Learn: What the East Asian Experience Tells Us about Raising Students Who Excel, but in the meantime, its author, scholar Dr. Cornelius Grove offers this guest post to school us American parents on two ways East Asian parents approach schooling and educating children differently:

You’re the parent of a young child. You know that a solid education is critical to their future. But, right now, the U.S. ranks 17th in education, behind not only Asian nations but many Western nations too – even Russia. So what, as a parent, can you do?

For your child, you are probably taking all the steps recommended: You read to them; you require them to finish their homework; you communicate regularly with their teacher. You hope to instill in them, during these impactful early years, the habit of attaining academic excellence.

However. there are additional things you should be doing. But basic to what you do is how you think about your child’s learning. Americans have a distinctive way of thinking about these things, quite different from how people elsewhere think about children’s learning, like in East Asia. Their children learn more than ours. So how do people in nations at the top of the school rankings think differently?

For decades, East Asian students have excelled in the international rankings, Here are two ways in which East Asians think differently from us:

1. Children should “fit” schools; schools should not “fit” children. In the U.S. during the early 1900s, the idea grew that schools should “fit” the desires and interests of their students. Educators’ focus shifted from teaching skills effectively towards teaching them appealingly. Parents began to expect “child-centered” learning and, recently, began worrying that students are stressed by homework. Americans came to expect schools to adapt to, or “fit,” their students.

In East Asia, making schools fit students has not been a goal. Citizens believe that what schools teach is very important and must be taught thoroughly. Students are expected to strive for mastery. These beliefs are motivated both by concern for students’ futures, and by concern for their standing as worthy members of their education-focused families. For instance, when children finish their homework, they continue studying using parent-purchased workbooks. In these and other ways, parents help children adapt to schools’ stringent expectations.

The East Asian perspective leads to parental behavior rarely seen in the U.S.:

East Asian parents view academic learning as each child’s most important responsibility within the family.
During each child’s first years of schooling, parents think of themselves as actively sharing that responsibility with their children.
Parents don’t simply encourage children’s studying; they coach, train, and drill them so that academic excellence is assured.
If a child performs poorly, her parents participate with her to diagnose what had not been done correctly, and then to master that skill.

2. Children perform well academically, or not, depending on their effort. East Asians know that individuals have – or lack – a range of inborn abilities, but they don’t consider this important in explaining children’s school performance.

American parents focus on inborn abilities. At first they don’t know what these are, but they think it’s vital to find out. They provide the child with a range of experiences so that unique abilities can emerge. Parents assume that each child must rely throughout life on the abilities he’s been given. They see each child as shaped much more by inner factors than by anyone’s effort.

East Asian parents focus on a child’s effort. They view children as malleable, which means “able to be changed, without breaking, into a new shape through the application of effort.” Parents believe it’s their responsibility to shape each child and direct her onto an advantageous life course. They should do this because they understand their community’s values. They can do this because their child is malleable – and capable of persevering effort.

The East Asian perspective leads to parental behavior rarely seen in the U.S.:

East Asian parents govern children’s use of time, insuring that a majority of their waking hours are devoted to academic learning.
Parents never pump up their children’s self-esteem; they know that self-esteem grows naturally as the result of outstanding performances.
Parents actively instruct, mold, direct, and train children, insuring that they know the “how to” of academic skills.
Parents don’t worry that persevering academic effort will harm their child physiologically or psychologically.

As the parent, what can you do? If you believe that masterful capacity to learn is your greatest gift to your child, be guided by East Asians’ ways of thinking and remember these five tips:

You and your child are responsible for his academic prowess.
The habit of persevering study must be set early in life.
Insure mastery of basic processes; do not fear drilling.
Pay relentless attention to correcting each learning shortfall.
Don’t inflate his self-esteem; instead, insure that he earns it.

Dr. Cornelius Grove, managing partner of the consultancy Grovewell, is also an independent scholar and author of iconoclastic books on education including his latest, The Drive to Learn: What the East Asian Experience Tells Us about Raising Students Who Excel. For more information, please visit, www.thedrivetolearn.info and connect with Dr. Grove on Twitter, @corneliusngrove.

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Parenting

The Top 10 Names Millennials Parents May Give Their Babies This Year

Posted on July 9, 2017

photo: Danielle MacInnes

Earlier this year, Nameberry came out with its list of top 100 Trending baby names that the popular baby naming site predicts will be most used. Just getting around now, albeit 6 months later, to check out the list and I like a lot of the names on it.

After combing through it, I picked the top 10 Millennial friendly names I think will be most attractive to young couples under 30 and the reasons why I think so:

Thor

Because that new Avengers movie is coming out and it will inspire all the Superhero geeks out there.

Yara

The actress, Black’ish‘s Yara Shahidi, is beautiful, smart and on every magazine cover and red carpet looking powerful and smart; and she’s going to Harvard. Nice legacy to want your little girl to aspire to.

Wilder

This name just screams Millennial friendly to me!

Remy

Rapper Remy Ma famously feuded with Nicki Minaj this year and for all her effort in breaking the internet after her diss tape came out, she won a coveted Best Female Rapper Award at this year’s BET Awards besting lots of great vet rappers including her arch nemesis Minaj herself. For everyone who wants their daughter to overcome tough times and take on Goliath of the world, yes to Remy.

photo Jenna Norman

Loyal

Like Royal but less douchey. Also, it is unique and has tons of personality.

Echo

Because who doesn’t love a competitor to Siri. Besides Amazon.com is taking over the world and naming your kid after one of its newest signature devices will make you feel invincible too, maybe.

photo: Chien Pham

Fiona

Classic yet not too pretentious.

Frank

For a boy and similar reason.

Cassius

Because reality TV housewives competed over Cash and Cassius sounds maganaminous. Also, anyone nostalgic and want to remember Mohammed Ali may want to pay homage to him this way by naming their kid after Ali’s birth name.

Arrow

Another superhero fan’s dream name.

Check out the complete list at Nameberry here!

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20 Ways to Save Money for a Family Vacation

Posted on July 9, 2017

Family vacations are a great way to make lasting memories that you all cherish for the rest of your lives, but they can also be quite pricey. That doesn’t mean that the trip of your dreams is out of reach, however, even if you’re faced with a relatively tight budget.

These 20 savings tips can add up big time, helping you to reach your travel goals before you know it.

Start a Family Travel Fund – Pitch in as a family. Contributing allowances, gift money and spare change as a group helps everyone take responsibility for the expenses of an exciting travel adventure.
Hold a Garage Sale – The garage sale is a time-honored tradition that can help you create more space in your home as well as collect a bit of pocket money. Holding a garage sale with the intention of putting 100% of the proceeds towards your vacation is a great way to jump-start your vacation savings account.
Break Out the Change Jar – Making a habit of dumping your pocket change into a large jar adds up surprisingly fast, even more so when every member of the family is chipping in.
Liquidate Your Assets – Selling a bunch of old collectibles that are taking up space online helps you corner a niche market that may not be available through a traditional, on-site garage sale. In some cases specialty items can fetch much higher prices online.
Establish a Family Dinner Routine – If your family eats out more than once a week, start researching money-saving meals you can prepare at home and deposit the average check price of those meals into a dedicated savings account.
Make Cutting Energy Costs Fun – Make a game of seeing who can use the least amount of energy in your home. Not only will you save big on your utility bills, you’ll also be reducing your household footprint.
Sign Up for Flash Sale Groups – Online marketing groups that offer flash sales generally have big-ticket items available at bargain-basement prices for a very short time. Signing up for these groups can help you save big and you can put the money you would have spent away for your family trip.
Have Family Coupon Clipping Parties – Clipping coupons is tedious work, but it can be fun when the whole family sits down together to make an event of the chore.
Encourage Kids to Contribute – Whether they’re mowing lawns, babysitting, setting up a lemonade stand or chipping in from a birthday fund, encouraging your kids to contribute allows them to make a difference in your vacation budget. This gives them a sense of pride and the savings account a boost.
Break Bad Habits Together – If one member of the family is a smoker, another has an expensive coffee habit and the kids are all addicted to sugar, making a family effort to break those bad habits while putting the money saved in a travel account can be a great motivator on all fronts.
Cut Down on Car Use – There are times in most families’ lives when it would be just as easy to walk, use mass transit or bike to a location than to drive. When those opportunities arise, take advantage of them and save money on gasoline in the process.
Hold a Savings Competition – Competing with one another to see who can save the most is a great way to encourage savings, especially when you’re all contributing to a common goal.
Make a Savings Thermometer – There’s a reason why the savings thermometer is a fundraising standby: it works! Making your own vacation savings gauge provides an actual goal and shows how much further you have to go before you reach it.
Start a “No Waste” Challenge – The average family throws away a shocking amount of money through sheer product waste. Starting a “no waste” challenge encourages more responsible habits and saves money.
Take Advantage of Local “Free Days” – Museums, libraries and other institutions often run “free day” promotions. Taking advantage of them allows your family to enjoy no-cost entertainment, freeing up more funds for travel.
Host Potluck Get-Togethers – There’s no need to stop entertaining when you’re trying to save, but instead of footing the bill for the entire meal just hold an old-fashioned potluck! When everyone contributes to the party, you’re able to save big and still enjoy the company of your nearest and dearest.
Hold Fashion Swaps – Kids outgrow clothing so quickly that it’s not uncommon to send an item with tags still attached to the local thrift store. Hosting a fashion-swap at your house with other parents allows everyone to trade out gently-worn clothing, saving money and enjoying one another’s company in the process.
Go Paperless – Stop spending money on stamps, envelopes and checks by going paperless with all of your bills.
Get DIY Savvy – There are so many things you can do at home for a fraction of the price of purchasing store-bought goods, all you need is a bit of know-how. Online tutorials for everything from making butter to building furniture are plentiful.
Visit Professionals in Training – Rather than spending a small fortune on haircuts, teeth cleanings and other basic services, consider visiting your local training center. There, professionals in training will perform these services with the supervision of a skilled instructor at a fraction of the cost!

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Father’s Day Diss?A 1/4 Americans Don’t Plan to Get Their Dad Anything

Posted on June 18, 2017

Dads have it rough.

A recent survey reveals that most Americans think dads get the short end of the stick on Father’s Day, compared to the heaps of attention moms get on Mother’s Day.

The NationalToday.com and Postmates survey indicate that 69% of dads surveyed and 74% of moms surveyed think fathers are cheated from recognition of their role and contribution to parenting.

It’s so bad that 1 in 4 Americans don’t plan to get their dads anything for Father’s Day.

While 24% of respondents say they have no plans to buy anything for Dad this Father’s Day, another 44% will spend $50 or less on dad, and the other 32% will spend $50 or more.

But it’s not like dads want stuff anyway. Like how many ugly ties and socks can one man have in his drawer chest?

Of those surveyed, 49% of dads say time with family is the best Father’s Day gift. Gadgets and electronics come in second (12%), followed by gift cards (8%), tools or appliances (8%), and sporting equipment (6%).

The least popular Father’s Day gift among dads? Office supplies. ha! (Editor’s Note: Not my dad. He loves Office Supplies)

Here is to hoping you all do things for the dads in your lives today and make them feel special too!

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