Parenting

Consider These ‘Good’ Things About Being a Broke Parent

Posted on September 4, 2015

Are you a broke parent? Barely getting by on a budget? It’s not all bad.

In fact, blogger Kelly at Almost Frugal blog did an interesting post featuring 6 things that make being broke an awesome thing, especially if you have kids.

My fave two reasons of the six are the last two:

Nor do you have to feel guilty about not buying your kid (or yourself) that latest gadget. Self sacrifice builds character. And we all want our kids to have character, don’t we?
Thrift shops have the best clothes! Who wants to look like your coworker’s clone anyway? This way you get to exercise your personal sense of style, and feel good about all the deals your scoring. Not to mention that the proceeds usually go to charity- what a good deed you’ve done!

Funny!

Read the entire post here.

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3 Body Parts of Someone’s Newborn You Should Never Touch

Posted on September 3, 2015

Just like pregnant women are community property, so, to a certain extent are newborn babies and infants. When people see them out and about, at the mall, the park, in the synagogue, temple or church, they can’t help but want to squeeze those juicy cherubic cheeks, stroke that curly soft baby fine hair and try to get the baby to grip their finger.

All three of these areas are big NO TOUCH areas for most people and especially for strangers who do not know the baby or its parents.

Here’s why:

1. The hands: At the earliest stages in a baby’s life, its hands are always in its mouth. They suck on their hands, fingers and fists for comfort. Adults have their hands on a variety of different objects throughout the day, often times picking up germs here and there. Most people do not use hand sanitizers nor wash their hands as often as would be ideal during the day. The worst thing a new mom wants to see is your grubby mitts exposing her newborn’s hands to whatever germ may be hanging out on your hands. It’s tempting and often times, understandably when you are overwhelmed by the cuteness in front of you, but don’t. Think before acting. It’s a gross thing to do.

2. The face: Many adults have sensitive facial skin and newborns’ skin can be no different and in some respects, are even more sensitive. They are fresh out the womb and are still developing their immunity. A cheek stroke from you (with your germ-filled finger) is liable to have the poor kid break out in a rash later. The mom may not be in a position to wash off your cooties before it’s too late. Just say no to the “cheek squeeze.”

3. The hair: Similar to the same reason you don’t touch a newborn’s face and hands unless you are its parent, pediatrician or just finished rubbing hand sanitizers on your hands moments before getting permission to approach the baby, you don’t touch or stroke a baby’s hair.

Of course, all of the above rules are flexible and can be waived depending on the situation and your relationship with the parents, but by all means if you are a stranger, it’s best to watch and not touch. If you must, tug at a socks or stroke the forearm. Understand, you’re still pushing your luck.

Just passing along a little public service announcement on behalf of all those new (especially first-time) parents out there who go through public settings full of anxiety on how to best protect their baby from unwanted advances. [That will be the subject of another post]

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If You’re Sending Your Kid with This School Snack, Don’t

Posted on September 2, 2015

Do you have to send your child a snack for snack time?

If you’re sending in one of these things that probably work at your home, don’t!

Well that’s what my kids’ school has told us parents in this leaflet they sent home at the first day.

Agree?

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If You’re Sending Your Kid with School Snack, Don’t

Posted on September 2, 2015

Do you have to send your child a snack for snack time?

If you’re sending in one of these things that probably work at your home, don’t!

Well that’s what my kids’ school has told us parents in this leaflet they sent home at the first day.

Agree?

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Parenting

Before you Use that Internet-enabled Baby Monitor, Read THIS

Posted on September 2, 2015

Several of the most popular Internet-connected baby monitors lack basic security features, making them vulnerable to even the most basic hacking attempts, according to a new report from a cybersecurity firm.

The possibility of an Unknown person watching their baby’s every move is a frightening thought for many parents who have come to rely on the devices to keep an eye on their little ones. In addition, a hacked camera could provide access to other Wi-Fi-enabled devices in a person’s home, such as a personal computer or security system.

The research released Wednesday by Boston-based Rapid7 Inc. looks at nine baby monitors made by eight different companies. They range in price from $55 to $260.

The cameras are often mounted over a baby’s crib or another place where they spend a large amount of time. They work by filming the child, then sending that video stream to a personal website or an app on a smartphone or tablet. Some of the cameras also feature noise or motion detectors and alert parents when the baby makes a sound or moves.Continue reading

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Parenting

This School Year, Adopt this One Parent-Child-Teacher Accountability Tool

Posted on September 1, 2015

The best way to keep track of your child’s work and progress this school year is by having students keep daily logs for both teachers and parents to track and monitor.

This was one of the superb suggestions given by one of the 12 Top Teacher thought leaders and bloggers from around the world that Global Education Publisher CMRubinWorld curated.

“What teachers must do for parents is instigate student learning logs (in any format) and raise the incentives for parents to be involved in them,” said Head of Technology at at a New Zealand High School and education blogger Richard Wells. “Documenting learning allows parents and teachers to recognize it and this raises learning’s status in the mind of the child. Parents need to be made aware that becoming participants in this recognition they will raise the achievement of their own children with only small but regular gestures and comments.”

We agree.

Through a log, a parent will not have to be surprised at the end of the marking period or semester to learn their child has had missing assignments or incomplete projects. A log would eliminate that surprise element.

Also, getting to see what the child is up to daily helps the parent be an active participant for accountability. If a mom knows that her son has a report due in a week, she can ask him to work on it or tear him away from video game playing and take him to the library to focus and work on the project. Kids hide assignments from their parents sometimes to avoid getting nagged about completing them.

With a daily log system in place, no more surprise! Even if your child’s school or teacher doesn’t have a formal log system in place, parents can ask about implementing their own system.

Bravo!

Read the rest of Wells’ response and contributions from the other 11 education experts HERE!

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Parenting

How You Are Your Child’s Role Model

Posted on August 31, 2015

Even though you may not think your child idolizes you, the reality is that she is watching your every move and mimicking your actions. From toddlers to teens, children look to their parents for guidance, as examples and more importantly, as role models.

“Children learn by observing and one of the things they spend observing the most is their parents,” says Christina Steinorth, California-based psychotherapist and author of “Cue Cards for Life: Thoughtful Tips for Better Relationships

“. “With this in mind, it’s very clear why children look up to their parents as role models.”

Understand Yourself

Serving as the role model, secretly or openly, is a huge responsibility. What your kids see, hear and experience from you, they will likely mimic, says Dr. Fran Walfish, California-based psychotherapist and author of The Self-Aware Parent: Resolving Conflict and Building a Better Bond With Your Child.

“Self-awareness is the key to becoming a better role model,” says Walfish. “Understanding yourself gives you choices and when you choose to respond in a specific way, rather than respond automatically, situations more often than not resolve themselves favorably.”

In fact, according to Walfish, research supports the fact that a child who was parented negatively has a high likelihood of parenting her own child in the same manner. Role models can be either positive or negative.

In order to know yourself as a parent and serve as a positive role model, Walfish recommends the following:

Understand how and in what ways you are similar to your parents
Examine yourself so as not to automatically repeat mistakes your parents made
Be aware of your feelings, moment to moment
Slow down your reactions: Reflect before speaking or taking action
Speed up your internal thinking process: First think “How do I feel?” and then think “How is my child feeling?”
Self-evaluate so that you can make good, educated choices about how to raise happy, emotionally thriving children with good self-esteem

As you learn your own parenting style and how your children observe and interpret your behavior and actions, Walfish suggests that self-awareness will bring comfort and lead to calm parenting.

Teach by Example

As your child is observing your every move, take this opportunity to model the behavior you want to see develop.

Even as young as the toddler age, parents can use their position as a role model to their advantage. “This is the best age to start teaching frustration tolerance,” says Steinorth. “If your toddler has a temper tantrum, role model patience in your response to the temper tantrum.”

For example, Steinorth suggests using calm words to express how you relate to what the toddler is feeling. Show the connection between the two of you. “If you need to run errands with your toddler and your toddler starts having a tantrum because he or she would like to go to play at the park instead, rather than showing anger and frustration over the tantrum, in a calm voice role model patience by saying something like ‘I’d like to go play, too, but I need to do some work first. Once my work is done, then we can go play,’” says Steinorth. “A phrase like this also starts the very basic teaching of work comes before play.”

As your child ages and develops maturity, your job as a role model is even more important. This is an opportunity to teach your child about sincerity, generosity, values and morals, says Steinorth.

“If you would like your children to learn about giving back, role model the behavior by volunteering with them,” she says. Bake cookies together and spend an afternoon taking them to a nursing home to share the goodies with patients. Pick a holiday and help out at a homeless shelter preparing and serving meals.

“Volunteering helps children think outside of themselves, which helps teach them empathy,” says Steinorth. “When they see that you enjoy giving to others, they will follow in your footsteps.”

Unveiling the Secret

Even though your presence heavily influences your child, she may not always be willing to admit this fact. Don’t take it personally, says Walfish. This is just a sign that your child is establishing independence from you, even though she is always observing you.

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Parenting

Follow These Back to School Declutter and Home Organization Tips

Posted on August 31, 2015

It’s the start of a new school year in my home and I’m determined to make sure we have a smooth, clutter-free and positive school year.

As an avid believer in and the positive impact of having a decluttered and organized home, I believe having an organization system and clutter and junk free home are essential for ensuring positive energy flow and clear thought.

I highly recommend that parents use the beginning of a school year as another excuse to get organized, not just for the school routine, but the family home in general. So even if you did Spring or New Year cleaning, use the late summer/early fall to re-organize your life and priorities as well.

Even if your kids have already gone back, you can still get started. Here are some declutter and home organization tips that I’ve put together that I hope can help get you through the year.

Clean and Declutter the Kids Play, Work Rooms and Nursery. Limit the number of toys and books in the kids room. Get rid of old broken toys. Give away old books and toys to the Salvation Army, Good Will or another family member with children younger than yours. Keep only a few of the favorite story books and the toys your child or children play with regularly. Don’t let them know you’re getting rid of the stuff they don’t even play with. They likely won’t even know it and you don’t need the headache of having them plea for you to keep it.

Infuse Calming Scents in the Home. I’m a also a big believer in aromatheraphy and that scents guide the mood. Buy Glade or some other brand’s plugins to keep the air fresh and clean smelling. You can burn candles when you’re home or if you’re an incense type of person, those work too. Consider using those with essential oils or scents such as chamomile, rose, vanilla and lavender. They are calming scents.

Thoroughly Clean the Room. Wash and Wipe down the walls, baseboards, windows and floors — with natural cleaners. Repair wall

holes, cracks, squeaky windows, peeling paint. A clean home is great for fostering clear thoughts and just clarity, in general.

Set up Calendar and Chore Lists. Even if you’re a stay-at-home mom, you shouldn’t be doing all of the cleaning and upkeep. Set up a chore sheet for the refrigerator for after school chores. Also, start a new family calendar for keeping up with back to school nights, upcoming field trips, sports activities and other events so everyone knows what’s going on. If you’re the family manager as mom, you shouldn’t be the only one aware of what days are soccer practice. Sitters, your spouse and house guests should too. Also, a chore list is great for keeping up the principles of feng shui which are all about clean spaces.

Keep Toys Dedicated to ONE area of the home (or maybe two) Avoid the chaotic mind that comes when you have toys and other things sprinkled in every nook and cranny of the home. Toys should be kept only to the play room, the kids room or one area of the apartment that is quartered off and situated with a toy chest, storage bin or some place where you can quickly toss all the toys hanging out all over the house. The tough part may be to stick to this one simple rule.

When the kids are not playing with a toy, there is really no need for it to be taking up space on the kitchen table or creating a tripping hazard for you or a guest. Either you, your partner or trained kids if they are old enough should make a concerted effort to gather all errant toys and keep them in the designated area.

It seems pretty intuitive, huh?

Over time, it will become a habit or second nature and you will find toys are not strewn about as much anymore. I do this with other areas of my home and life. All papers, books, newspapers, invoices, magazines are usually put away in our home office. All clothes go in a hamper, closet or bedroom. Dishes, cups and silverware discovered anywhere in the house are picked up and taken in the kitchen.

Think of this mantra: “There is a place for Everything and Everything in its place.”

Organize the Paper Trails. Each year, families accumulate reports, information from school, permission slips and the such. It will get mixed in with bills, receipts, warranties and other paper that come into your life.

This Home Organization plan will make it easy for you: Get a binder or two and dividers or one of those mega accordion file folders with tabs and divide them in the following categories:

School Category

Car maintenance schedule/Receipts
School schedules and holiday list
Lunch menus
School information page
School reading lists
Summer Camp and programs information
Medical information sheet for each family member
Emergency directory
House-sitter information sheet
PTA newsletters and rosters

Health Categories

Prescription drug record
Health insurance information

Home Vacation

Travel packing checklist
Before-we-leave checklist
Vacation idea list

Home Renovation

Home renovation contractor lists
Contracts and Bids
Warranty information
Utilities/services directory
Home decorating ideas

Home Business

Business records
Tax Documents for Business
Consultants and Independent Contractor records
Liability Insurance
Business & Office Equipment registry

Financial

Tax Documents for Personal
Big Ticket Items receipts
Life insurance information
Budget/spending record
Bills to pay

Hope these Declutter and Home Organization Tips are helpful to you as you get yourself and your family organized for the season! Good luck!

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Parenting

How to Avoid ‘Financial Infidelity’ in Marriage

Posted on August 30, 2015

Guest Post

Children, sex, in-laws, work stress – how couples handle these issues says plenty about a marriage and, often, a divorce.

Not surprising to many, however, the No. 1 predictor of divorce is money, according to a study from Kansas State University.

More specifically, researchers say that arguing about money, especially early in a relationship, is the best predictor of divorce – despite a couple’s economic bracket.

“As with sex, for example, arguments about money are probably connected to deeper, underlying issues, such as trust, self-esteem, identity, etc.,” says Dr. Anne Brennan Malec, a clinical psychologist and marriage and family therapist with a background in accounting and business.

“Like most other areas of conflict, frequent communication and formulating a plan for how to address the financial situation allows many, if not most, issues to be adequately and respectfully resolved.”

Dr. Malec, author of the book “Marriage in Modern Life: Why It Works, When It Works” (www.drannemalec.com), offers constructive solutions for marital money stressors.

• Be partners in your common cause. When one partner carries most of the financial burden, it can thrust that partner into an almost parental role over the other. This is a form of asymmetry that can affect other areas of the relationship and erode a marriage, creating resentment by each partner for different reasons. Whether or not you make roughly the same amount of money as your spouse – or none at all because you’re a stay-at-home parent – stay involved in the goings on of your household’s finances. Understand what you can and cannot afford as a family. Communication is crucial. Discuss your feelings about money and how both of you contribute to the overall well-being of your family.

• Avoid financial infidelity. Every couple has to determine how their joint and individual expenses will be shared. Account for the necessities, from rent or mortgage to groceries and more. Account for all of your typical expenses, which may include date night and individual interests or hobbies. Respect individual interests – whether or not they are reasonable expenses, understand that they are important to your partner and may help the relationship. If one shops too much or spends too much on cars, find a way to compromise. Having an agreed-upon monthly budget helps minimize financial tension, and to spend more requires a good explanation.

• Be open to money issues beyond the marriage. Most adults have some degree of debt because of a college loan, child support, a medical history or a host of other reasons. Ideally, you will have discussed and come to terms with a spouse’s debt before marriage. Also, consider the potential upsides to having a prenuptial agreement, especially when one or both of you come to the marriage with significant assets or debts, or when children are involved.

• Have annual discussions about a spouse’s stay-at-home status. There are many good reasons for a mother or a father to stay home and raise children, but you should revisit this decision once a year to determine if it still works for the family. The spouse who chooses to stay at home should make him or herself fully aware of the potential risk of doing so. Can you afford a one-income household? Will the stay-at-home spouse be able to re-enter the workforce? Will you be fulfilled at home? These are valid questions to seriously consider each year.

About Dr. Anne Brennan Malec

Dr. Anne Brennan Malec (www.drannemalec.com) is the founder and managing partner of Symmetry Counseling (www.symmetrycounseling.com), a group counseling, coaching and psychotherapy practice in Chicago. She also is author of the book “Marriage in the Modern Life: Why It Works, When It Works.”

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9 Signs That You are of Above Average Intelligence

Posted on August 30, 2015

Earlier this year, Business Insider published a list from a summary of various studies which identified certain factors, traits and other things that make a person smart or smarter than others.

They included:

1. Being left handed

2. Being tall

3. Owning a cat

4. Experimenting with drugs

5. Being an eldest in the family

6. Not smoking

7. Taking music lessons

8. Having a cat.

And in a recent infographic the site shared I noticed it left off one of the important ones we at Bellyitch always hear about:

9. Being breastfed!

Check out the infographic below from the recent piece for explanations on what makes these traits cause for higher IQ in a person:

Then consider the left out part from the February version of this piece:

“In two studies of breast-fed infants involving more than 3,000 children in Britain and New Zealand, breastfeeding was found to raise intelligence an average of nearly seven IQ points if the children had a particular version of a gene called FADS2,” Duke University reported in a press release.
That gene version is “involved in the control of fatty acid pathways,” said researcher and University of Illinois-Chicago psychologist Julia Kim-Cohen, and it “may help the children make better use of the breast milk and promote the brain development that is associated with a higher IQ score.”
Figuring out the exact mechanism of this relationship between FADS2, breastfeeding, and IQ will require further study, the scientists noted in their 2007 paper on the finding.
Read more: http://www.businessinsider.com/signs-youre-smarter-than-average-2015-2#ixzz3kM4beF00

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Parenting