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miscarriage

Gabrielle Union’s 9 Miscarriages Show Why You Shouldn’t Make Assumptions About Childless Women

Being Mary Jane star Gabrielle Union opens up about suffering 8 or 9 miscarriages, and having fertility struggles in her new book, “We’re Going to Need More Wine.”

The actress writes in the book, which is a collection of essays, “for three years, my body has been a prisoner of trying to get pregnant—I’ve either been about to go into an IVF cycle, in the middle of an IVF cycle, or coming out of an IVF cycle.”

Union and Miami Heat NBA basketball player Dwyane Wade have been married since 2014.

She also talks about how being a stepmom to her husband’s three sons from previous relationships, 15-year old Zaire, 10-year old Zion and 3-year old Xavier changed her mind on wanting to have her own children.

“I never wanted kids,” she shared. “Then I became a stepmom, and there was no place I’d rather be than with them.”

In a December 2014  interview with Uptown magazine, Union opened up about that desire.

“I think my brain and my heart are screaming baby fever… I’ve lasted 42 years without having a human being come from one of my orifices and I feel okay and fulfilled and happy,” she said. “If it does happen, it’s a miracle—a medical miracle at least. I mean, we’d love to. We’ll see what my ovaries say.”

She told the site that if she does not conceive, she will be okay. “I have really awesome stepkids, so I feel equally as fulfilled.”

But alas, we know that the plans to have a baby had started since way back then and she is still on that journey.

While working on starting her family, the Birth of a Nation actress has to endure the pain of constant rumors about her being pregnant.

Ugh! The dreaded celebrity bump watch speculation!

“Once a month I look like I’m in my second trimester because I’m bloated,” she shared, referring to the side-effects of her IVF injections. “It leads to the questions and it leads to the rumors and anytime I go into a doctor’s office I feel like I’m a member of SEAL Team Six undercover because I don’t want people to speculate.”

Then it’s the constant prodding by well-meaning people who just ask invasive and insensitive questions.

“For so many women, and not just women in the spotlight, people feel very entitled to know, ‘Do you want kids?’” Union said. “A lot of people, especially people that have fertility issues, just say ‘no’ because that’s a lot easier than being honest about whatever is actually going on. People mean so well, but they have no idea the harm or frustration it can cause.”

And there you have it! The reason why one should never make presumptions and impose on women’s private live about family-starting.

You can pre-order the book now though it won’t be released until October 17.

Alarming Study Links Flu Shot with Early Miscarriage

A puzzling study of U.S. pregnancies found that women who had miscarriages between 2010 and 2012 were more likely to have had back-to-back annual flu shots that included protection against swine flu.

Vaccine experts think the results may reflect the older age and other miscarriage risks for the women, and not the flu shots. Health officials say there is no reason to change the government recommendation that all pregnant women be vaccinated against the flu. They say the flu itself is a much greater danger to women and their fetuses.

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4 Very Popular Recording Artists That Wrote Lyrics About Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss

Earlier this year, we blogged about the fact that Harry Styles‘ first single off his self-titled debut solo album, “Sign of The Times” is about a woman dying in childbirth  and this week, we reminded you that Lady Antebellum‘s Hillary Scott penned “Thy Will”to to help herself cope with her 2016 miscarriage.

But did you know there have been a couple of famous rappers who have also released songs with lyrics about pregnancy loss, fertility and miscarriage?

Shawn “Jay Z” Carter might just takes the prize for doing it the most.

In his recent song, 4:44, off the same-titled album, the platinum-selling chart-topper seemingly blames himself for his wife’s Beyonce’s miscarriages and losses by rapping, “I apologize for all the stillborns/ ‘Cause I wasn’t present, your body wouldn’t accept it.”

It’s more likely he was being colloquial and was probably referencing the miscarriages and not stillborn which occur in less than 1% of all pregnancies and happens when a baby is born deceased after 20 weeks gestation.

Later on in that same song, he raps about the praises of having twins, naturally, an acknowledgment is probably an indicator that the duo were anticipating getting help with their fertility from science via IVF.

“Look, I apologize often womanize / Took for my child to be born / See through a woman’s eyes / Took for these natural twins to believe in miracles / Took me too long for this song / I don’t deserve you,” he rapped.

This is not the first time the biz mogul has penned lyrics about pregnancy loss. In 2012, his song “Glory” also addressed a miscarriage Beyonce had before the couple found success and finally welcomed their first child, Blue Ivy Carter.

“False alarms and false starts /All made better by the sound of your heart / All the pain of the last time / I prayed so hard it was the last time,” he opens up in the song.

Later on in the song, he raps, “Last time the miscarriage was so tragic We was afraid you’d disappear, but nah, baby, you magic,” referring to the fear that Blue would have been miscarried too.

Tender huh?

Female rapper Nicki Minaj also seemingly opened up  about a child she lost either to abortion or miscarriage in her 2014 song “All Things Go” on her album “The Pinkprint.

While referencing her baby as an angel watching over her baby brother Micaiah, (who she calls Caiah), she raps:  “I want Caiah to go to college just to say we did it,” she raps about her younger brother Micaiah then adds, “My child with Aaron, would’ve been 16 any minute / So in some ways I feel like Caiah is the both of them / It’s like he’s Cai’s little angel looking over him.”

In a Rolling Stones article published that year also, the Queens native reveals that she had an abortion at age 15 and that she remains haunted by it:

Minaj’s first love was an older guy from Queens she dated while attending the prestigious Manhattan performing-arts high school LaGuardia. When she discovered she was pregnant, “I thought I was going to die,” she admits.

“I was a teenager. It was the hardest thing I’d ever gone through.” Minaj says about the decision that “haunted me all my life,” though it was the right choice for her at the time. “It’d be contradictory if I said I wasn’t pro-choice. I wasn’t ready. I didn’t have anything to offer a child.”

It was never confirmed, but a few folks hypothesized she was singing bout that same child in that song.

Pregnancy Loss is still quite taboo so it’s great awareness building to have A-List stars include it in lyrics to their music, we think.

Viral #IHadAMiscarriage Instagram Account Aims to Destigmatize Miscarriage

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As women get older, close to 40 percent at age 40 will experience a miscarriage, a rate that is much lower for women age 20 to 30 (9-17%), states the American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. Although common, miscarriage is still a taboo subject that isn’t discussed much, leaving those who suffer it to feel isolated, alone and ashamed sometimes.

One mom has turned her miscarriage into a viral Instagram account with over 15,000 followers!

Jessica Zucker, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist based in Los Angeles who specializes in women’s reproductive and maternal mental health. Dr. Zucker is the creator of the #IHadAMiscarriage campaign, and a line of pregnancy loss cards.

Zucker created her account which began as a hashtag, #IHadAMiscarriage  to share her personal story with others.  Zucker was 16 weeks pregnant with her second child and had passed the first trimester time period when miscarriage is most common. In her first post where she used the hashtag, Zucker wrote,  “I had a second-trimester miscarriage. That is a fact of my life,” she wrote. “I have no shame. No self-blame. No guilt. I did nothing wrong. I did nothing to deserve this. My body works. I don’t feel it failed. I embrace my grief fully and allow it to wash over me. I grieve still.”

The empowering message was well received and encouraged others to share their story and they continue today in beautiful prose, handpaintings, and other motivational and endearing messages that Zucker publishes on her now viral Instagram account in posts like this one.

# IHadAMiscarriage I had a 2nd trimester miscarriage. This is a fact of my life. An experience that changed who I am. Pregnancy after pregnancy loss changed me all the more. I have no shame. No self-blame. No guilt. I did nothing wrong. I did nothing to deserve this. My body works. I don’t feel it failed. I embrace my grief fully and allow it to wash over me. I grieve still. I don’t believe rainbow babies “replace” our lost loves. When we lean into heartache, we evolve. When we work vigorously to stave it off, we drown. I don’t believe everything happens for a reason. I know I am not alone, nor are you. _ This campaign is here for anyone who has experienced any type of pregnancy or infant loss. We are here to share stories with the aim of softening stigma and ushering in connection. Let this space be a life line. An anchor. A community. _ What an elating honor it is to have my work and specifically this page featured on @selfmagazine today. Link in profile. _ #IHadAMiscarriage #miscarriage #pregnancyloss #stillbirth #infantloss #motherhood #grief #loss #parenthood #pregnancyafterloss #rainbowbaby #1in4 // This sign accompanied the birth of the I Had A Miscarriage campaign in 2014. Lettering by @annerobincallig.

A post shared by Jessica Zucker, Ph.D. (@ihadamiscarriage) on

And this one:

and this one

@channelfrida shares: After the first miscarriage I thought about getting a small halo tattoo that only I would see and understand the meaning of. Never did I imagine I would go through it 3 more times in less than 11 months. _ Now that we have an answer and a hopeful solution, I decided to spend this waiting period before surgery and before TTC again to design this tattoo with the help of an amazingly talented and gracious tattoo artist. One birth month flower for every due date we will mourn. Two hearts, mine and my husband’s, amidst the garden. _ Sitting for this tattoo was a strange and emotional experience. The physical pain was rough, but nothing compared to the past year, and I kept thinking this tribute was oddly fitting. _ I look forward to the moment I will be able to wrap these arms around our rainbow baby, and one day share the meaning of my mural of flowers with them. _ #IHadAMiscarriage #miscarriage #grief #recurrentmiscarriage #loss #rainbowbaby #pregnancyafterloss #motherhood

A post shared by Jessica Zucker, Ph.D. (@ihadamiscarriage) on



and this one…

 

Rushing the Pain by @jazzandkate. Stories from around the world (Connecticut). Posted with permission. _ “Deciding not to have another baby was the only way I could garner some control over all that happened to me over the past year. Two baby boys that I’d never meet. Two baby brothers that my daughter would never have. There are worse things than having an only child, I told myself. It’s time to be grateful for what you have and move on. _ Six weeks after my second loss, I was steadfast to get all things baby out of my house. I packed boxes, organizing everything immaculately as I went. I considered selling but the process seemed too time consuming. I needed it it if my house as quickly as possible. Thousands of dollars of inventory, gone. It felt therapeutic in the moment but now that it’s gone, I sit here wondering, “what have I done?” _ #IHadAMiscarriage #miscarriage #pregnancyloss #motherhood #pregnancyafterloss #grief #loss #1in4 // Artwork by @Marco.demasi found via @jasoncampbellstudio.

A post shared by Jessica Zucker, Ph.D. (@ihadamiscarriage) on

Good stuff! Zucker also sells a line of cards and t-shirts to support miscarriage awareness and has also launched campaigns to celebrate post-loss rainbow pregnancies and rainbow babies eliciting the assistance of famed photographer Vaugn Dabney. 

h/t Romper

photo: Vaugn Dabney

 

Tamar Braxton-Herbert Reveals she Had a Recent Miscarriage on last episode of BFV

Tamar Braxton
On this week’s episode of WETV’s Braxton Family Values that aired this past Thursday, March 30, Tamar Braxton-Herbert revealed to her sisters that she suffered a miscarriage.

The episode was about the singer’s attempts to have a second child using IVF treatment. [Watch a clip about it here of Tamar discussing the challenges of IVF with her husband Vince Herbert.]

“You know, I didn’t tell nobody because it was very very new. Well, maybe, like, a week before I went to Atlanta, I found out that I was pregnant,” Tamar told her older sister, Toni Braxton, who erupted in excitement over the news. “Congratulations! You’re pregnant!”

But then Tamar added that she “was”  expecting a child to Toni’s shock. It’s a heart wrenching moment when she realizes that her sister lost her baby early in the pregnancy.

Toni Braxton

“I’m sorry, Tay,” Toni replies after realizing that her sister just told her she suffered a miscarriage. You can catch a teaser here:

You can watch the entire episode on WETV if you are on certain cable networks. Find out HERE!

‘The Real’s Loni Love Opens Up About The Miscarriage That Turned Her Off From Having Kids

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On Tuesday, March 21st episode of the daytime panel talk show The Real co-host Loni Love opened up about previously suffering a miscarriage and being quite emotionally scarred form the experience.

During a segment on the show, Love says the entire ordeal convinced her to never have children (or even attempt) because  she never wanted to experience that feeling again.

“I finally went to the doctor and I was pregnant,” she opens up. “And Imma tell you something, your body goes through so much. And then at that time I started processing ‘cause then I had to start saving for the baby. I had to start doing all this… And I was like, ‘Oh my goodness, what am I going to do?’ Right? And then it was like the dude that I was with, he was excited, but I was still like really really nervous. But then, eventually you know that nature takes over, you like, ‘You know what, there’s nothing I can do. I’m just gonna have to have this baby and I’m just going to deal with it.’ And sure enough as soon as I was like okay with it, about eight weeks, I miscarried.”

It appears from the audible gasp, and shocked reaction of her co-hosts Jeannie Mai, Tamera Mowry-Housley and Adrienne Bailon, that they were clueless. Love later exclaims that’s the real reason she doesn’t have children.

Watch this episode — March 21st on The Real — check local listings.

 

 

How this Reality TV Star Turned a Miscarriage into a Lifestyle Change and a Successful Business

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After Reality TV Star of Oxygen TV’s Bad Girls Natalie Nunn suffered a miscarriage, she  got depressed, turned to food and packed on over 40 pounds.  Over time, she decided she wanted to channel her thoughts and energy into something to distract herself from the tremendous loss of losing a child.

Nunn turned to exercising and eating right and lost close to 50 pounds in three short months.

“When I had the miscarriage, I was at a place where I was very depressed,” Nunn said. “I was very sad. I didn’t really want to do anything, I just stayed in the house. I was just eating and staying home and I just kind of got depressed and lazy. Then I noticed I was about 42 pounds over my normal weight. I was like 187 pounds. I ended up going to Miami but paparazzi got pictures of me on the beach and it went everywhere. I was just really, really heavy. ”

The unflattering paparazzi photos that wound up in gossip rags were enough motivation for her to do something about the gain.

“I started going in the gym and found myself just fooling around in there,” she told MadameNoire in an interview late last year. “After the first 90 days, I lost 42 pounds. And people were seeing me do this transformation because I was on Snapchat and Instagram, and people were like, ‘What are you doing?’ and ‘What workouts are you doing?'”

She then quickly turned the queries into a business and started her own fitness challenge course that she started to sell to others.

Nunn and her ex-football player husband Jacob Payne used her celeb following to launch the  No Payne No Gain 90-Day Challenge

“I make more money,” she told Madame Noire. “All because I’m up and at it every day with full energy, a glow, no negativity. It’s crazy. Fitness and health is no joke. It affects everything you’re trying to do.”

After becoming pregnant again, she continued her exercise regimen and used her own experience of doing doctor approved moves and healthy eating to create a plan for other pregnant women.

“My fit and pregnancy workouts have been keeping me in good shape and I feel great while being active during pregnancy! she wrote in an Instagram post directing her fans and followers to her website. “I also have created an at home fit pregnancy workouts for all you moms who want to stay in shape while pregnant no gym needed no equipment needed!”



Kudos to her for turning tragedy into a positive situation and a new income stream! Bravo! She sure has come a long way since her antics on the Bad Girls Club, for sure! Nunn is set to deliver her baby in coming weeks.

h/t BCK Online

Celebrities who Have Opened About Suffering A Miscarriage

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There is an ongoing and existing taboo about miscarriage. It isn’t discussed often and couples that go through it often deal with it on their own. It is more common than conventionally thought. The pain would be lessened perhaps if more were open about it. Over time, several celebrities have opened up about their own personal loss. Because of their wide reach and influence, it’s great to hear them speak up. Beyonce, Courtney Cox and Bethenny Frankel are among public figures who’ve shared about their respective losses.

We’ve blogged about it often here, (and can check out our extensive coverage here) and we were happy to see our partners at Mode curate a few stories about celebs who’ve had a miscarriage. Check it out:

Check out Heartbreak and Hope: Stars Who Suffered Miscarriages

by Tend Editor at Mode

After Having a Miscarriage, a Woman is Changed

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Miscarriage is still a taboo not often talked about. It occurs more often than many would believe, yet women usually keep it a secret from family and friends. It certainly taints and colors your journey to motherhood, whether it happened in the early weeks or mid term. You earnestly will never be the same, especially if you were planning for the baby you lost.

Mode writer Samantha Collins recently suffered a miscarriage in November 2015 yet was able to conceive again and is due this October. But she is aware that she is more cautious about sharing the news given her loss. She has put together a great roundup of stories that discuss how miscarriage changes women.

photo credit: Kyle Awoyesuku/Picnoi

Check out How Miscarriage Changes a Woman

by Samantha Collins at Mode

Study: Coffee Intake before Pregnancy Increases Miscarriage Risk

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A new study published online in Fertility and Sterility claims that a woman is more likely to miscarry if she and her partner consumed more than two caffeinated drinks daily during the weeks before conception. The study also reports that women who drank more than two caffeinated beverages daily during the first seven weeks of pregnancy were also at higher risk to miscarry.

The National Health Institutes of Health and Ohio State University, Columbus research team investigated the lifestyle habits of 344 couples, including their cigarette use, caffeine consumption and multivitamin intake. They observed these participants weeks before conception until seven months into the pregnancy.

“Our findings provide useful information for couples who are planning a pregnancy and who would like to minimize their risk of early pregnancy loss,”asserts study author Germaine Buck Louis, the director of the Division of Intramural Population Health Research at NIH’s Eunice Kennedy Shriver National Institute of Child Health and Human Development.

Twenty-eight percent or 98 of the pregnancies miscarried. The team found that caffeinated beverage consumption was associated with a hazard ratio of 1.74 increased miscarriage risk for females and 1.73 increased risk for males.

“Our findings also indicate that the male partner matters, too,” Buck Louis added. “Male preconception consumption of caffeinated beverages was just as strongly associated with pregnancy loss as females.”

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