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First ‘Mom Jeans’ and Now ‘Mom Hair’ is the new Prejorative 

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Just when “mom jeans” have become on trend, here comes a brand new fashion article finding another way to paint moms as uncool, doudy, unsexy and unflattering.

This time, the culprit is a New York Times Style section article on so-called “Mom Hair”.

The piece, “Mom Hair: It exists. Now here’s what to do about it“, described the way some new moms wear their hair after suffering from temporary pregnancy related  hair loss: “longer-in-back, slightly-shorter-in-front bob,” calling it “inescapably frumpy”.

It includes quotes from new moms who are ashamed of their hair and tips on how to have better hair.

And of course, the writer compared “mom hair” to the mom jeans.

Needless to say, it triggered a bit of backlash in the blogosphere.

Writing in the popular parenting blog Scary MommyOmaha, Nebraska mom Ashley Austrew criticized the article as condescending and called it “mommy shaming.”

“I don’t know about you but I’m sick of having the word ‘mom’ continually used as a synonym for uncool, unflattering, unhip and sexless,” Austrew wrote.

Amen! Tell ’em, Ashley.

In comments in social media, other women were speaking their minds.

“I’ve reprioritised my to do list: 1. Get rid of mom hair. 2. Love, feed, bathe, care for my children. Thanks, NYT!!” one fan wrote on Facebook.

“Enough already. Know what my ‘mom hair’ looks like? It looks like the hair of a woman who gets up at five, who works hard all day, who goes to bed and who might remember to remove her ponytail holder. Enough already. How about lifting each other up for once?” said another.

Some were upset about the part that suggested post part in moms wear their hair longer to hide their chubbier faces.

Some called the reaction an over-reaction but at the end of the day, we all can see where the frustration can come from every day moms being expected to look like Kate Middleton or Miranda Kerr post baby  but without  having the nanny and personal stylist on staff to help duplicate those women’s styles.

I think I Might be the Only Kanye West Fan Among my Mommy & Daddy Friends

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Yesterday, I learned that one of my all time favorite rappers, Kanye West, will be coming to my town! I squealed and immediately announced my joy to my Facebook friends only to quickly learn that I was alone in my fandom for Mr. West among my friends of moms, dads and professionals. * hrmph *

Now…granted, I understand.  The famous multi-Grammy-award-winning producer and recording artist is notorious for saying a lot of controversial things (saying President Bush doesn’t like Black people, ). And…he is also infamously known for doing a lot of off-the-wall things (interrupting Taylor Swift‘s Video Music Award Best Female Video acceptance speech, wearing a jacket with a confederate flag on it etc)

But to me, the man is a musical genius and there is a method to his madness, and insanely ginormous ego. I’m capable of looking past all the socially awkward stuff and still dig his beats, rifts, arrangements, clever verses and contiguously catchy and memorable hooks and choruses. I have adored him since “College Dropout” and before even when he sang a hook on one of Jay-Z’s songs.

So there! I’ve come clean!Love him or hate him, I still love his music. I haven’t felt this relieved since I came out as a silent member of the Bey-hive a couple of years ago. (I even reviewed her self-title album Here and Here)

And so now I’m excited to attend his “The Saint Pablo” World Tour concert which will be coming to DC’s Verizon center on September 8, two days after my birthday. How perfect!

I’ve thrown it out there in the universe and  for fam and friends who might want to gift me tickets. (smile)  Also, I’ve nagged all of my connects that work at Verizon. I even pitched it to various news outlets I freelance for occasionally to cover it.

Check out my fab Drake concert review HERE! Huh? huh? huh? Good huh? ha!

I check the blog’s analytics occasionally and we frequently get visitors from Calabasas, California so if you’re watching this Ye or anyone of your fam (old or new), hook a sister up!

Don’t make me have to buy my own ticket! lol! Okay! Glad to get that off my chest!

Back to your regularly scheduled friendly mom blog! lol

EDITED TO ADD: I attended the concert and it was bananas! The Universe must have heard my plea because not only did I get an offer to watch it from the box owned by Verizon itself (yeah, Verizon as in the corporation) but I was accidentally given two tickets so my husband could attend! Yay! And wait, there is more.

While we were on the hunt for drinks before the game, someone randomly gave me free floor tickets. An extra pair they had so I went into the concert with one gifted ticket and before it started, I had 4 tickets in my hands! I did a video about the experience you can see here. I tried to share video clips of the concert but someone on Kanye’s team filed a copyright complaint at YouTube and it was pulled. I was penalized for sharing it on Facebook and Instagram and was sent to FB jail for a few days too. It was all worth it! Yay!

 

Antonio Cromartie welcomes Twins Jynx and J’adore, His 11th and 12th Children

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Congratulations to ex New Jersey Jets player Antonio Cromartie and his wife Terricka Cason Cromartie on the birth of their twins this past Sunday, May 8th, 2016.

Keeping with the theme of giving their children names that start with the letter “J”. The couple decided to name their new daughter J’adore Nayvi and son Jynx Jevell.

We suppose the name Jynx is a derivative of the common pop culture reference to say “jinx” when you and another person say (or type) the same thing at the same time. The second baby would be the jinx? shrug Who knows. The different spelling makes that name quite unique and a stand-out as well.

This is Cromartie’s 11th and 12th child. They share a son, 3-year old son Jagger and daughter, 5-year old Jurzie. And Terricka has a daughter named Jordynn (another spin on the name commonly spelled Jordan).

They announced the twin pregnancy earlier this year. It is being called a miracle pregnancy because Antonio reportedly had a vasectomy in 2011, Terricka told US Weekly they didn’t use protection because they assumed the vasectomy worked.

According to WebMD, a vasectomy is an 99.85% effective birth control method. Only one to two women out of 1,000 will have an unplanned pregnancy in the first year after their partner has had a vasectomy, the site said.

Congrats on the miracle babies and welcome Jynx and J’adore!!

 

You are Beautiful J’adore in every single way @jadorenayvi ?

A photo posted by TERRICKA CROMARTIE ? (@iluvterricka) on


 

God blessed me with another Boy ????: Jynx mommy loves you @jynxrevell ?

A photo posted by TERRICKA CROMARTIE ? (@iluvterricka) on

Mother’s Day in Memoriam: Ways to Honor Your Infant You Lost

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Mother’s Day can be a tough holiday for women who have lost a baby through miscarriage, pre-term loss or still birth. Also for those who are struggling to conceive, the day can be a hard one to endure. However, the day also represents a great opportunity to pay tribute to our angels in heaven.

For Infant Loss Awareness, here are some ways to celebrate the spirit and/or memory (depending on your belief set) of your lost baby.

Check out Mother’s Day & Infant Loss Awareness: Honor Your Angel Baby

by Mommy Week {Ashley} at Mode

All the Things Wrong with Mom Junction’s ’85 Popular Ghetto Baby Names’ Post

ghetto baby names

I believe MomJunction is a site created and run by men, not from America, who have decided to capitalize on the popular mom market of women looking to the internet for news and information about pregnancy and child rearing.

That is the only explanation I can give for why it decided it would be cool to publish a highly offensive article listing 86 Ghetto Names. 

You can find the cached version HERE! Bossip first broke this find.

And it is garbage for more reasons than one. Let’s start with the jacked up premise. The intro to the list starts like this:

When the Americans brought Africans to their country to become slaves, they did not just strip them off their clothes, but also their names, taking their dreams, hopes and identities. They deemed their names too exotic and too difficult to pronounce. The American gave their slaves Biblical names like Eve, Ruth, James, Joseph, Mary, Luke, etc. Some were also given short and persuasive names like Bill and Tom.

But after the Civil War, the slaves were determined to reinvent their identity. They started this by making their names unique. Names like Luce were turned into Lucinda. And typical western names like Mary and John began to fall out of favor with the whites and the blacks started adopting them. So the Africans, who were no longer connected to their African roots, began asserting their identity by creating new names for their children. These names came to be called ghetto names.

Bish, what?

So idiotic and untrue. Black Americans are NOT the only ones in America to give their children original names. Many European people give their child names that have NOTHING to do with their origin and culture.

Now let’s get to its asinine definition of “Ghetto Names”

What Do Ghetto Names Mean?

A ghetto name is a standard name with a tweaked spelling. It can be Stefany for Stephanie or Antwon for Antoine. Ghetto names are usually given by parents who do not know the traditional spelling of a particular name or choose to disregard it.

No. No. No. and No. “Ghetto” is a term for a low income dwelling or community where people are impoverished and there is high crime and low economic opportunity and the housing conditions and living standards are sub-standard.

That is not unique to Black people.

Historically, the first Ghettos in America were where Irish immigrants lived. Only recently, have Americans maligned the name to equal something that is of African American heritage (or perhaps Hispanic too, but mainly it is used to put down poor black people or some aspect of black American culture )

Second of all, Americans of all races tweak the spelling of their children’s name. That is NOT unique to Black Americans. Ugh! I cannot be more annoyed at this.

The head of the Republican party is named Reince. We have a current sitting US president named Saxby. The former VP nominee in 2008 has a child named Trig and a grandkid named Tripp. Ever heard of Wynter or the fact more people are naming their children after Game of Thronese Characters like Daernerys and Khaleesi?

Then, if you look to how this dumb (yes dumb) author describes the names, they include names with over 100 years of origins in Africa–If that is so, how the heck could they be names that are disconnected from Africa? This piece of garbage is so stupid on so many fronts.

For example it says of  Zendaya, “the meaning of this ghetto name is ‘to give thanks’ in the Shona language. Zendi would make the best nickname for Zendaya. Fact- Shona is an African language spoken by 80% of the people of Zimbabwe.”

Amandla, the piece states, “is  a Xhosa or Zulu word, meaning ‘power.’ This word was a rallying cry in the days of resistance against Apartheid.”

Of Javon, it writes it “is a variation of the Hebrew name Javan, who is said to be the guardian angel of Greece. The biblical Javan was the son of Japheth and is a favorite in contemporary America.”

Well, how can the names be devoid of roots if you’ve stated their origins in the same piece?

And the article is full or inaccuracies when it does attempt to link the history of the names on the list.

Clearly, no one of African descent penned this piece and given the tense racial climate in America these days, I cannot believe anyone who is from here penned this because if they did, they’ve been living in a bomb shelter all their lives.

Aside from the fact that the author is clearly maligning black American names, he or she throws in a name that is common among people of all races and is never in the category “ghetto” as far as I know:

“Jillian: The variation Jillian is four times more popular than its real name Gillian. Most probably because the G version gives pronunciation confusion. The meaning of Jillian is ‘youthful”

What? Jillian you mean like The Biggest Loser trainer Jillian Michaels?

jillian michaels

And let’s get to the stuff that was blatantly racist, offensive and ridiculous to publish at all:

“Shay Nay Nay: Shay Nay Nay is the ghetto name of Linda Johnson, who won the America’s Next Top Model title by shooting Tyra Banks in the head. Not the most positive name, but definitely unique.”

WHAT?!?! Positive? What do you mean positive?

“Shaka is one of the loveliest ghetto black girl baby names. “

What? What? What????

And mid-way through, they explain the fact that they were just pulling out stuff out their anal orifices.

“Lovaye: We’re pretty confident that this name is inspired by the word English word ‘love’. And what could be better than naming your child after this beautiful feeling?”

Pretty confident? Nope. You know nothing of the name yet you are here to categorize it?

And then there was this:

“Kabaka: Originating in Uganda, Kabaka is a short and straightforward name, meaning ‘king.’ The name sounds formal, upstanding and a bit pompous.”

How can a name sound pompous?!  You mean like Biff or Niles? Stuffy names among the wealthy class and British like that? Hmmm?

More display of the ignorance:

“Betricia: Don’t you think it looks a lot like Patricia? We think it’s a combination of Betty and Patricia. But whatever it is, it sounds incredibly alluring.”

You think? No. Don’t publish things you “think” is right and then try to present it as authority, mmm kay?

And then this:

“Magi is a ghetto variation of the name Maggie.”

What the heck is a “ghetto variation” of a name?

Even though it declares Deshawn indicates it is “‘son’ of and Shawn is a variation of Sean, which means ‘God is gracious'” it then says this name which has origins is from African American people who are using names with no origins. Which is it?

Jerome is a name that many Jewish people give their children so…how you link that to Black American names.

More offensive summation of the names:

“Ottacious: Don’t be surprised. We’ve heard stranger names than this.”

“Imunique:I-am-unique! We know that your child is unique to you, but giving him this name could scar him for life. You can skip this one.”

Of Charrdannay,” it asks “Is it the wrong spelling for Chardonnay, one of the most expensive wines? If yes, then it’s the most amusing ghetto variation we’ve seen in the recent times”

Just shut up now.

But nope, they end by asking readers,

“Which ghetto name did you like the most? Tell us in the comment section below!”

Who is this article directed to? African Americans? Do they really think African Americans would be looking up “what ghetto name” to give my baby? What?

Mom Junctoin deleted this post amidst outcry from people of all hues and races, particularly after Bossip’s post.

This can be a lesson. Don’t ever write an article about ghetto names ever. Also, stay away from articles about White Trash baby names too. Just don’t.

Mommy Wars: ‘Don’t Worry About How I Choose to Feed My Baby’

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People can be so judgmental about mothers and their choice of how and when to feed their baby. If it’s not society, it’s the overbearing mother-in-law or the know-it-all Queen B on your due delivery board community.

Everyone needs to just back off and live and let live. But let our partners at Tend explain it better:

 

Check out Why It’s None of Your Business How I Feed My Baby

by Tend Editor at Mode

#SaintPatricksDay 2016: Here are 25 websites for Crafts, Recipes and More

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Happy Saint Patrick’s Day!! 
Educators, parents, nannies and craft lovers who want to celebrate the day may be looking for crafts, and other ideas for children. We’re sharing once again 25 blogs with Saint Patrick’s day craft, party decorations, meals, desserts, and activities  ideas for the children to do for the Irish holiday:
 
Crafts
Make these simple crafts with your kids as part of your celebration of St. Patrick’s Day.  This often overlooked holiday can be really entertaining if you make a point to celebrate it just like you would other holidays with special crafts, decorations and food.  These five blog posts will share some craft projects you can enjoy with your kids.
Decorations
Up your house’s festivity factor this St. Patrick’s Day by decorating in plenty of green and gold. Some of these decorating ideas are appropriate for younger children, while others are better suited for the older kids.  Get together as a family and enjoy some creative time together decorating your home.
Meals
All things green are up for grabs on St. Patrick’s Day.  What, you don’t think your kids will be excited about spinach and kale and other green leafy food?  No problem! Just make regular food green instead and see what the kids think of it.  It doesn’t have to be just for dinner, enjoy these five blogs that have breakfast, lunch and dinner ideas.
Desserts
While green is definitely the star color for St. Patrick’s Day, it isn’t all confined to just that color. After all, you can’t forget about the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.  Make some rainbow inspired desserts instead of just green ones this year.  For some inspiration check out these five blog posts.
Activities
What kind of things can you do as a family or with the kids for St. Patrick’s Day?  Some cities have St. Patty’s Day parades, so you might see if your city is having one.  Or you might decide to have a party for the kids in the neighborhood.  Take a look at these five blog articles for some ideas on activities that your kids or your family might enjoy.
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Mommy Wars: Yeah, Quit Shaming Smartphone Moms at the Playground

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Yes! All of this!

I’m screaming, AMEN! to guest blogger Nikki over at IAmNotTheBabysitter.com who recently blogged about the part of the Mommy Wars where other mothers shame those ladies who are engrossed in their smartphones while their kids play at the playground.

I mean, I get it. We should be engaged with our kids at all time. Or at least, we maybe should make sure they are safely playing and/or not being bullied or being the slide or see-saw bully. Yes. Yes to all of that, but still, there is so much judgment thrown around with regards to different people’s parenting styles.

There is no right or way to parent. Well, actually, there are a lot of people doing it wrong and we see them or their offpsrings in the nightly news. But besides those guys, parenting styles differ and that is okay.

In 2007, I blogged in my first blog, Mschiefmakers, about the difference between a park in a less pretentious area I once visited with my children compared to the middle to upper middle class park in my neighborhood park:

Took the boys to the local play park by my mom’s this afternoon. I noticed how less pretentious the moms were there as half of them were on their cell phones, reading books and having conversations with one another as their kids slid down the slides, pumped their tiny legs on the swings and wiggled and jiggled on the see saws.

In my stodgy, easily more conservative and cautious neighborhood, it was a no-no to be on the phone while at the park with the kids. You’d get these disapproving stares. I’m all for family values and undivided attention and all that, but sometimes you just got to take that call from a client. As a small business owner, I don’t really have the room to lose the few clients I have. I offer them the extra care and attention as a selling point separating me from the big dogs and unfortunately that means interrupted “mommy and me” times with the kids. I sure do feel guilty, but so is the sacrifice for being on my own.

Having had this experience, I could certainly relate to Nikki’s post which you can read in its entirety, HERE!

The 7 Reason Mothers Don’t Take Alone Time (INFOGRAPHIC)

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It would be unheard of for an employed person to work 365 days of a year without taking a vacation. Motherhood involves 24 hour work at times, yet many moms do not take alone time.  There are many reasons mothers don’t get much needed alone time. Sometimes it’s the circumstances and sometimes we get in our own way. Here are 7 reasons (and an infrographic) why personal time escapes many mothers.

  1. Mothers have to do everything – Some moms believe that nothing, absolutely nothing, will get done without them. They need to oversee every detail of family life and make sure things are running smoothly. As long as they have that outlook and it works for everyone concerned, chances are nothing is going to change.
  2. Perfectionism – The perfect mother doesn’t need alone time, or so she thinks. Trying to live up to the unattainable image of the supermom is a sure way to crash and burn.
  3. Demanding kids – Sometimes little ones can be extremely demanding; Mom cannot even go to the bathroom alone. Children like this want to know where Mommy is every minute and she’d better not get out of their eyesight. The idea of alone time for such a mom is just a pipe dream.
  4. Absentee Fathers– If you have a husband that doesn’t support your alone time, it might be much harder to get. Some fathers are kind enough to take the kids while Mom goes off and does something she wants to do or maybe even stays home and takes a bubble bath. But for the mother who doesn’t have that kind of support at home, finding the time to be by herself can be like looking for a needle in a haystack. Mothers who don’t have a backup parent or other family support around them can find it especially difficult to find time for themselves. Trading babysitting favors with other single moms and making time in the early morning or late evenings when the kids are in bed may be options for these moms.
  5. Over scheduled – Similar to the busy mom this mom is always on the go, but she has some down time. The only problem is that her down time is spent with other people. She’s waiting for the kids to do this or that, she’s at dance rehearsals or foot ball practice. With a little help she could actually manage to get some alone time in there somewhere.
  6. Too busy – Some mothers are workaholics and doing too much all the time to take a break. Every minute is planned and used to the max. This mom gets tons of things accomplished, except perhaps some much needed self care.
  7. Guilt feelings – There are mothers who just feel so guilt ridden about taking private time for themselves, they can’t bring themselves to do it. It feels as if they are stealing time away from the family.

7 reasons

 

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Chrissy Teigen and 5 Other Women Who Love Their New Curves from Pregnancy (5 ESSAYS)

chrissy teigen

Model Chrissy Teigen is loving the new curves she is developing while pregnant and she is being vocal about it. The FABLife TV host is also sharing regular bump progression photos in social media with her fans and followers. Most of the feedback is positive.

“Hello new thighs!” Teigen wrote in the comment section to the above photo shared recently.  “You appeared out of nowhere but I am not mad at it!”

It’s wonderful to read about her embracing her new body because many women dislike their pregnant bodies and never adjust to the new curves, sagging and extra weight that become permanent.

Jillian Michael infamously told Women’s Health Magazine in 2010 that after working so hard to lose tremendous amount of weight, she didn’t want a baby to “ruin it”. There are others out there who are fearful of pregnancy because of the changes.

But not all are, I managed to find five women who wrote amazing and powerful first person narratives this year and recently about their respective evolution to love their postpartum Body. Check them out:

Parenting – How I Learned to Love My Postpartum Body 

Emma’s Mama Blog – Why I love my post pregnancy body

Mommy Nearest Why I Love My Body More After Having Kids

Pausivity – My Post-Baby Body: Add curves, fat, stretch marks… AND LOVE

Off Beat Home Being pregnant is changing my body and I LOVE IT

Tell us What You Think!

 

 

 

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