Most people don’t realize how painful Mother’s Day can be for those struggling with infertility and loss.
If that woman is you, you are allowed to do whatever you need to do to make it through this Mother’s Day.
Taking care of yourself becomes essential as you try to work through the grief and loss that has overtaken your journey to motherhood.
But on this day especially, take care of you.
You have permission to opt out of all the Mother’s Day messaging today and avoid people who may not understand what you’re going through and not be sensitive to your feelings today.
Do whatever brings you comfort. Binge on your fave ice cream. Enjoy a nice bottle of wine. Take in a Netflix movie. Spoil yourself. Or just rest and go to bed early.
Shut out the rest of the world and practice a little self-care.
And know that you are not alone in needing to do so.
Finally, here is my fave inspirational song and video from gospel artist Yolanda Adams with a great message.
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This topic is an extremely sensitive one and It is important for me to bring it up especially as we approach Mother's day weekend. I'll specifically speak from my own experiences with it. And the hardships us women and even men in my community face when it comes to pregnancy. For some reason pregnancy is something that is just automatically suppose to come after marriage. No idea who created such a rule or why such a rule exists. I remember being newly married and the first thing people started doing instead of greeting me was look right at my belly. Then when they noticed I was not pregnant the look of confusion following "oh you're not pregnant yet" would be their conversation starter. I will never forget when just after 3 months of marriage church service ended and a member in the church who saw me yelled at the top of her lungs in front of everyone saying "BARBARA YOU'RE STILL NOT PREGNANT YET. WHEN WILL YOU GET PREGNANT? YOU'RE TAKING TOO LONG." I remember standing their speechless because I could not believe someone could ask and act in such a way. My husband however, came to my rescue and respectfully told her everyone has plans and it's God who gives children. What made me so sad is what if I was really trying and had no success? What if I found out I could not conceive naturally? What if I just went through an unsuccessful expensive fertility procedure? What if I just recently miscarried? Do you know how all of these accounts affect women and men who are journeying this together? I always made sure I prayed for my future children regardless of when we decided to prepare. When God said it was my time, that was and the only timeline I followed through with and no one else's. Dont ever let anyone force their pregnancy timeline on you! Don't ever let anyone make you feel less of a woman or man because to them you're "taking too long." If pregnancy is something that you seek and whatever method you have to go through take it to the Lord in prayer. For it is he who provides. Photography by @mennydc5