Today, all parents, guardians, and caregivers are encouraged to refrain from hitting children and to seek alternative methods of discipline through programs available in community agencies, churches and schools.
Lutton offers alternatives for parents who are considering halting spanking their kids and going with another route for discipline.
2. Since you can’t reason with a child, don’t you need to spank to keep them safe (like touching hot stoves or running into the road)?
3. It’s important for children to know who’s boss. How else do you teach authority?
4. When I tried not spanking my child’s behavior got worse. Why was that?
5. I never spank in anger. Doesn’t that make it okay?
7. Doesn’t the Bible say to “spare the rod, spoil the child?”
8. Aren’t children who aren’t spanked totally out of control?
9. I need to make sure my lessons stick. Other stuff I’ve tried just doesn’t seem to phase him enough for it to be an actual punishment.
|Author Crystal Lutton|
This is based on the common misconception that children need to experience pain in order to learn a lesson. Reality, however, argues against this, because children learn all sorts of things without pain being the motivating factor. They learn to crawl, walk, speak, do math, build legos, all without being motivated by pain. Our children are born social and they want to fit into their family and their world. When we focus first on teaching them how, we gain their trust and cooperation. As they get older, not only are there fewer behavior issues, but when there are, you have a foundation for correcting them that is not rooted in blame, shame and/or fear.