YOU ARE THREE TODAY!!!!
10. “So, when are you going to have kids?” – I read somewhere that you produce the absolute smartest child if s/he is conceived during the Haley’s Comet so I’m thinking the year 2062.
9 . “So, when are you going to have kids?” -As soon as I see that check you sent for the half a million dollars the baby will cost clears, I’m on it!
8. “So, when are you going to have kids?” -Tomorrow.
7. “So, when are you going to have kids?” -Just as soon as I finish smoking my last stash of weed
6. “So, when are you going to have kids?” – I’m glad you asked, I need the best email address to send the “nursing” sign up sheet. Would you mind I ask if you are lactating?
5. “So, when are you going to have kids?” -I’ll take 10 and a side of fries. Oh you said “kids” I thought you said “Wings”.
4. “So, when are you going to have kids?” – Just as soon as you learn to mind your business.
3. “So, when are you going to have kids?” – Why? Are you selling some?
2. “So, when are you going to have kids?” -Let me get back to you on that. I only answer personal questions on the third Tuesday of each month.
1. “So, when are you going to have kids?” – Not for another…um at least nine months.
Check out the Wall Street Journal Blog did a similar story recently and another blogger did a post entry asking her readers to submit answers and got loads of responses including #4, #3 and #1 which I borrowed.
After being pregnant 3 times, I think I’ve heard or heard of the top 10 most annoying unsolicited advice and comments people make to pregnant women. In all fairness, often times these things aren’t said out of ill intentions, but rather ignorance or a lack of consideration of the mom-to-be. So as a courtesy to my pregnant readers, I’ve composed a series of quips you can feel free to borrow the next time you’re served one of these lines:
10. Will you have another one? – Well I like to think of child birthing as a heaping full plate of food from a buffet. Sometimes, you just need to finish one plate to see if you have the stamina or will for seconds or thirds.
9. Were you trying? – you mean did I engage in the act of sex with my partner continuously and repeatedly during times of ovulation so as to conceive, is that what you want to ask?
8. Can I touch your Belly? – Sure, but before you do, I hafta warn you that this expanded area on the underpart of the belly *rub it to exemplify*, that used to be my pelvic area and I usually need to know a person for a while before I let them stroke me there.
7. You look like you’re about to Pop! – Oh yeah? Your mamma!
6. Are you Carrying Twins? – Are you?
5. Are you Allowed to [Drink Coffee/Work out/ Eat that much sugar etc. etc.]? Actually I’m not, but I say “Gosh Darn it, you only live once! Go for it!”
4. You still look Good – Oh really? That’s good because I was trying to decide would today be the day I start wearing a muu muu and going out of the house without make up, with mussed up hair, a house coat, slippers and bib to catch food that spills out my mouth.
3. Go ahead and eat that third piece of cake, you are eating for two. – Yup, but I got a growing LARD ASS that I’m going to have to melt off after this kid gets evicted so I think I’m going to stop at just two, but thanks for the “go-ahead” anyway Doc.
2. Do you know what you’re having? Oh, Is that what you wanted? – Well actually, I wanted a mansion, two drivers, and an unlimited spending account but this baby (boy/girl) will have to do I guess.
1. What will you call her/him? – If I tell you that, I’ll have to kill you!
NOW GO OUT THERE AND HAVE FUN!
when i last weighed: 155
recall i skipped last week out of fear that my Easter gluttony would reveal a number i wasnt prepared to see. thankfully, i cut out the junk and doubled up on exercise and managed to get back on track. whew!
I don’t know what rock I’ve been under that I hadn’t heard of this new technology in seating babies, developed by a South African company, but we are soooo getting a Bumbo Baby Seat for lil Miss GG soon! Apparently, this seat is all the rage among parents. I think I need to do some research really soon on all the new products that have been invented since I had my last kid before GG 3 months ago! I think I’m seriously OUT OF THE LOOP!
so says Us Magazine.com….
Baby Phat designer Kimora Lee Simmons is expecting a baby with Blood Diamond star Djimon Hounsou, the New York Post reports. The Post says Simmons, 32, and Hounsou, 43, her boyfriend of one year, had been trying to get pregnant. Simmons has two daughters, Ming Lee Simmons, 8, and Aoki Lee Simmons, 5, with ex husband Russell Simmons, whom she split from in March 2006. They had been married since 1998. A rep for Simmons told Usmagazine.com, “There is no comment at this time.”
interesting development *scratches chin* Hmmmmmm.
surprise surprise. she chose not to breastfeed the twins, according to her in an interview with People magazine. Her choice. I’m getting good at this “not judging” thing.
I don’t need to judge when there are others out there doing a pretty good job at it. 😀
Specifically, J Lo espoused:
My mom didn’t breast feed and I think that was the thing for me. You read and figure out what’s the best thing for them”
And…she will be training for some super triatholon event, according to her, to “make her babies proud”…yeah yeah yeah…you’re just like me, who is training for a Marathon this October to LOSE BABY WEIGHT FAST…
I took GG to the babysitter’s today so I could take the time to clean out the house in preparation for her Baptism on Sunday.
At some point, I got a feeling that she needed me and called the sitters, only to hear my sweet baby wailing in the background. Apparently, she is starving, but refuses to drink the formula from the bottle. *sigh*
So….rather than wait for her to get fed up and hungry enough to drink the bottle, because I am less than 5 minutes away from the sitters and have the luxury of time to sneak away, I am off to nurse her and then get back to my crazy stack of mess in the basement that needs straightening out.
…isnt’ that interesting how that Sixth Sense kicks in ever so often!?!