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Jeneba Jalloh Ghatt

How Quit The Cycle of Getting Into The Wrong Relationships

Does this sound familiar?

You meet someone, are immediately attracted, and fall head over heels in love with them.

And for a while it is exciting and fulfilling. You’re on top of the world.

But then things slowly start to devolve. At first, it’s little annoyances, then you catch yourself getting in bad moods more often. You start to fight, promises are broken and you begin to realize that you’re stuck in a never-ending unhappiness cycle, wondering how things got so bad so fast.

And then what can you do?

San Francisco Psychologist Dr. Ann Schiebert has a novel recommendation for you.

“Write up a joint statement of values that identifies each person’s likes, dislikes, expectations, values, dreams, goals, and boundaries,” she says. “Have both parties sign it.  If a relationship is consistently unhappy for one or both parties, include a statement about how the couple will end the relationship.”

As a clinical psychologist with over 25 years of experience, she has developed a novel approach to romantic relationships that is changing lives significantly, especially when the relationship goes bad.

“You have options.  You can sign on a relationship contract that says love, honor and cherish,” she says. “You can also strike the “obey” part if you want to. The point is to create a relationship contract that feels valuing and kind to both parties”.

In Let’s Make a Contract – Getting Through Unhappy Romantic Relationships, Dr. Schiebert draws upon the wisdom and personal experiences she acquired, and skillfully takes the mystery out of the many lessons learned during her many years of practice. She describes how to discover why you’re unhappy, why you stay unhappy, and how to boost the chances of achieving a fulfilling romance.

“People in unhappy romantic relationships bury their inner self – that part of them that says “this doesn’t feel good,” or “that was unkind,” or “I feel so demeaned and disrespected,” and, “I really don’t like this person very much.”  We think that our “loved” one changed and wonder why we didn’t see it before it got bad”.

She identifies five primary ways to prevent this from occurring:

1. Don’t let yourself fall in love with strangers. Even when you are looking for love, you have to keep an eye on your hormones and body chemistry to prevent the “love cocktail” (oxytocin, PEA, dopamine and norepinephrine) from driving your bus. You want to allow your better instincts to exercise caution and protect you from getting into the wrong type of relationship with the wrong type of person. So, stay in control of your emotions and your actions.

2. Don’t bury the truth that you know very little about the person you just fell in love with. Realize that it takes time to learn and understand the personality, history, and character of a person you “love.”  You need time to identify the attributes, talents, skills, personality traits that the object of your desire may and may not have.  Pay attention, identify, and then write down the things you really have in common, the things you like and don’t like, the goals you each have, and the things you want and don’t want.

3.Identify specifically what makes you feel loved. Be specific. Embrace every single idea or behavior. Describe the things that really do make you feel loved and appreciated.

4.Pay equal attention to identifying the qualities and behaviors that you don’t like. Take off the rose-colored glasses. Look for and notice traits you don’t like in people and carry this NO list with you.  If a potential partner hits on one of those hot buttons, pay attention! Do not ignore the warning signs and alarms that go off.  Recognize them. Acknowledge them. Get ready to tackle them.

5.Don’t allow value violations.  You will know when you feel you have been disrespected because you will feel anxious, unhappy, fearful, or demeaned by some interaction with your “loved” one. Realize that you will feel lousy and may be unable to express the words to explain exactly why. Don’t avoid or put off a discussion about your feelings no matter how uncomfortable or painful the conversation may be. It is time for problem solving – not eternal suffering.

6.Don’t ignore your personal boundaries.  If each unhappy encounter becomes a shovel full of hurt feelings, sadness, frustration, self-recrimination and powerlessness that buries all the good feelings that you experienced, you can rightfully see the real person – and realize they are not a match. Don’t let things get so bad that you feel helpless to create change in the relationship. You still have the opportunity to make the changes you need.

Does your relationship feel buried in unhappiness? How do you go from burial to resurrection?  Believe what you see. Trust your feelings and reactions. Know your red flags and deal breakers and respect them because if YOU don’t, no one else will.

1. Take your time and really get to know a person. Learn about the “love cocktail” and do not turn your life over to it. Realize that falling in love is a passing phase that lasts about six months. Thus, make sure that you take that six months to get to know a potential romantic partner.

2. Believe reality when people show you who they really are – the first time.  Maya Angelou’s says it right… “what you see is what you get.”  Forget the idea that “what I see that I don’t like, I can change.” It ain’t gonna happen!

3.  Base your relationship on values not chemistry. Know what your values are and find out what your potential relationship partners’ value are.  Are they similar and compatible or not? Document these carefully and share them with each other.  Like values are one of the best foundations for happy romantic relationships. Most of the suffering in our unhappy romantic relationships occurs when a partner disregards your values. Knowing them in advance often prevents the violation from occurring.

4.  Never give a pass to abhorrent behavior. Never give rudeness, insults, verbal, emotional, or physical abuse a “pass”.  If you do, you give your abuser permission to continue on.  Don’t even think that promises and/or make-up sex are the foundation and path to healing from hurtful actions. You must use therapy, problem solving, and discovering what happens that makes you feel unhappy to provide you with the right solutions.

5. Be authentic and be true to yourself at all times. Honor it. Respect it. It is the mix of all your talents, thoughts, hopes, and dreams.  Do not sacrifice your true self for someone who does not respect and honor it.

EEOC Sues Walmart for Pregnancy Discrimination

The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission filed a lawsuit Saturday alleging that Walmart has violated federal law by discriminating against pregnant workers.

Pregnant employees were not given the chance to participate in a company program that allowed light-duty lifting while other workers with lifting restrictions were accommodated at Walmart’s distribution center in Menomonie, Wisconsin, EEOC’s lawsuit alleges.

“What our investigation indicated is that Walmart had a robust light duty program that allowed workers with lifting restrictions to be accommodated,” said Julianne Bowman, the EEOC’s district director in Chicago who managed the federal agency’s pre-suit administrative investigation. “But Walmart deprived pregnant workers of the opportunity to participate in its light duty program. This amounted to pregnancy discrimination, which violates federal law.”

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Your Fall Style Guide Is Here



As the weather starts to cool, you may be putting away your summer clothes, taking down the fall stuff and looking to augment your wardrobe with new staples to last through the fall and winter. If you’re preggers, you will need to stock up on a few items as well to last through the season.

You will want to start with layering basics. I like starting with a tank, and adding a light long sleeve jersey over top of that. Throw on a light weight cardigan over that. You can remove layers as you warm and add more if you get cold. Grab a few of them from vintage stores or get as many boutique tank tops to last you the season. If you stick with primary colors in solid traditional or pastels, you should be good to go and have enough options for mixing and matching.

Next, invest in a good sturdy pair of fall boots. You can go with classic Riding style boots or a chic but sturdy wedge bootie. Both, by a quality brand to last thru fall and early winter will do.

Everyone needs lots of room to put all your stuff. A large tote bag is perfect accompaniment for your fall wardrobe. Get one in a standard color that will work with your wardrobe and if you want to really stand out or add a pop of color to your wardrobe, here is where you can add that element.

Scarves are essential as the weather begins to chill and it begins to get crisp outdoors. There are many different ways you can tie a scarf. Also, you can mix and match scarves with different patterns and shapes and use them to add style to a basic monochromatic palette.

Finally, big and bold costume jewerly can be conversation statement pieces. You don’t have to spend a lot on them because you will be swapping them out frequently. They’ll add some flavor to your look.

Hope these style tips gives you some ideas to work with as you build out your fall wardrobe.

Real Housewives of Atlanta star Porsha Williams is Pregnant

Congratulations to Real Housewives of Atlanta star Porsha Williams who is expecting her first child with boyfriend Dennis McKinley.

The news came with trepidation because the stage actress suffered a previous miscarriage six years ago.

“When I found out I was pregnant, I was excited [but] I had mixed feelings. The other feeling that I had beside excitement was fear,” the Real Housewives of Atlanta star, who suffered a miscarriage six years ago, told PEOPLE in an interview for the newest issue, out Friday.

“I’ve had a miscarriage before in my past, which I’ve also been open about because I suffer with fibroids and had to have a myomectomy…So just the fear of, ‘Is the baby going to be okay? Will I make it full term?’ All those questions that you ask if you’ve had a miscarriage before.”

She raves of him, “The thought of me getting that blessing after praying for it for so long and getting that blessing with someone who is just as excited as me — it’s Dennis’ first child, just like me — and it’s something we’ve both always wanted … It’s like a dream come true.”

“I believe he’s probably shed more tears during the process than me,” Williams tells PEOPLE of McKinley, whom she has known for years but only began dating this past year. “It’s just the sweetest moment of my life right now.”

The TV host joins fellows co stars Kenya Moore and Shamea Moore 

Congrats!

 

Photo: PEOPLE

Study: Fish Eaten During Pregnancy Helps Baby’s Brain

Women could enhance the development of their unborn child’s eyesight and brain function by regularly eating fatty fish during pregnancy. This is the suggestion from a small-scale study led by Kirsi Laitinen of the University of Turku and Turku University  in Finland, in the Springer Nature-branded journal Pediatric Research. The research supports previous findings that show how important a prospective mother’s diet and lifestyle choices are for the development of her baby.

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Emmy: Congrats to Shocked Winners Thandie Newton and Regina King

The Primetime Emmy Awards went down last night and in lieu of Red Carpet coverage, I’m posting to give a shout out to two of my Bellyitch Bumpwatch alums who won and were visibly shocked about it too: Thandie Newton and Regina King

Newton won for Best Actress, Drama, for her role on Westworld. During her acceptance speech, Newton wished her daughter a happy birthday, accidentally dropped the F-bomb, and then Thanked God…even though she might be an atheist.

“I don’t even believe in god but I’m going to thank her tonight,” said Newton.

Another fave, actress, producer and director Regina King looked shocked when she was announced as the winner of the Award for Outstanding Lead Actress in a Limited Series or Movie for the TV show she brought to the little screen, Seven Seconds, about a woman whose son is killed in a cycling accident by a police officer, the cover up and the effect of the scandal on a little town.

King had previously won two Emmys in that category for her  work in ABC’s American Crime in 2016.

Watch her acceptance speech:

Not a mom, but I was a watcher and fan of the 1970s/early 80s show Happy Days, and so I was happy to see The Fonz, aka, Henry Winkler win his first ever Emmy Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series for Barry at the age of 72.
The amazing moment came 42 years after he was first nominated for his role on Happy Days.

“I only have 37 seconds; I wrote this 43 years ago,” said Winkler, who has been nominated six times in his illustrious career. “Skip Brittenham said to me a long time ago, ‘If you stay at the table long enough, the chips come to you,” and tonight I got to clear the table.”

Yay! Congrats!

Throw A Halloween Party on a Shoestring Budget: Here’s How



There’s no need to break the bank when it comes to throwing your next kids’ Halloween party.  By using items you already have around the house you can throw a killer party without spending a ton of money, and making your own snacks and beverages can also help you cut back on the expenses.  The kids will have a blast and you will be a Halloween hero, without going broke.

Theme

Deciding on a theme can help you tie all of the party details together. Here are a few kid friendly themes worth considering.

  • Ghouls and Goblins: Place tombstones in the yard for decorations, wrap hotdogs in dough and bake them to look like mummies and serve punch out of a caldron.
  • Witches and Fairies: Sprinkle glitter on table cloths and serve witch fingers and witch’s brew.
  • Nutty Professor: Put out assorted jars filled with food coloring in water, make invitations in the shape of a beaker and serve drinks in test tubes.
  • Hogwarts: Line the table with white owls and fake snow and make pretzel stick wands that can be decorated and then eaten.

Invitations

Tie the invitations into the theme to help set the mood for the party and let the parents know what type of costumes the kids should wear.  By making your own invitations you can have something that is both unique and inexpensive. Here are some ideas for simple invitations you can make at home.

  • Tombstone Invitations: Using some gray cardstock, cut out the shape of a tombstone.  Using a black ink pad rub the edges of the tombstone to create an aged, dirty look.  Put a big RIP on the front and the rest of the party information inside.
  • Fairy wing invitations: Cut out the shape of a pair of wings.  Write the details of the party on the wings.  Take some vellum and cut out the same wing shape and attach it to the top with a brad.  Use plenty of glitter for the fairies.
  • Witch’s broom invitations: Cut out the shape of the bristle part of a broom in a yellow or mustard color and print the details to the party on it.  Attach a craft stick or a cut down skewer to the back of the bristle portion.  Tie a black bow around the broom handle and you’re done.

Decorations

Use things you have around the house that go with your theme.  Drape the furniture with white sheets for a spooky, abandoned look.  Fill recycled jars with water and food coloring; float various things in them like a plastic frog or plastic eye balls and cover dessert tables with black plastic table cloths from the dollar store.

Games

Play games that kids love, but add a Halloween twist to them.  Almost any game can be made into a Halloween game.

  • Monster Mash: Play fun Halloween inspired music and have the kids play freeze dancing.  Whenever the music stops they have to freeze in their spot.  If they move they have to sit out until the next song.
  • Flashlight tag: Supply everyone with inexpensive flashlights and let them chase each other around the back yard.  A variation could be to hide glow in the dark items and have everyone hunt for them.
  • Bobbing for apples: Float apples in water and have players try to grab an apple out of the water using nothing but their mouths.
  • Spooky Bingo: Set up the normal bingo cards, but use miniature bat cut-outs to cover the spaces, or go online and print out Halloween inspired game cards.  Light some battery operated candles and play by candlelight.  Turn on some spooky music and call out the numbers using a creepy voice.

Food

Choose food that the kids already like and dress it up for Halloween.  For example, you could take PB&J sandwiches and cut them out with a pumpkin cookie cutter, and then use a food safe black marker to draw jack-o-lantern face on it.  Serve bat or witch hat shaped cookies or brownies.  Give items on the party menu a creepy name by putting place cards in front of all of the food.  A bowl of grapes could be called, “Green Eyeballs,” for example and a bowl of candy corn could be called, “Witches teeth”.  Freeze some water or fruit juice in a plastic glove and then float it in green punch for some eerie fun.  Sprinkle in some creepy crawly decorations in and around the food trays.

Favors

Wrap candy bars with strips of medical tape to look like mummies.  Leave an opening to put in a couple of big googly eyes.

Kids will have fun no matter what they are doing so don’t stress out too much over party details.  Create some suspense with the invitations, set the mood with the decorations and music, and feed them fun, creepy food and you will have happy kids.  Use your imagination and ask your kids what they want to do.  You might be surprised to learn what kind of fun ideas they have.

Carrie Underwood Had 3 Miscarriages in 2 Years

Opening up, Carrie Underwood, who is expecting her second child with husband Mike Fisher, revealed in a new interview on Sunday, September 16, that she suffered three miscarriages in two years.

“I’d kind of planned that 2017 was, you know, going to be the year that I work on new music, and I have a baby,” the country crooner, who is mom of 3-year-old Isaiah, told CBS Sunday Morning. “We got pregnant early 2017, and didn’t work out.”

The Grammy winner went on to say that she suffered a third miscarriage the following year. “Got pregnant again, early 2018. Didn’t work out. So, at that point, it was just kind of like, ‘OK, like, what’s the deal? What is all of this?’”

The “Cry Pretty” singer admitted she wrestled with her emotions following her losses. “I had always been afraid to be angry,” she said. “Because we are so blessed … I’m like, ‘If we can never have any other kids, that’s OK, because [Isaiah] is amazing.’ And I have this amazing life. Like, really, what can I complain about? I can’t. I have an incredible husband, incredible friends, an incredible job, an incredible kid. Can I be mad? No.”

Still, she says she got angry after what she thought was yet another miscarriage in her current pregnancy. “I got mad … I was like, ‘Why on Earth do I keep getting pregnant if I can’t have a kid? Like, what is this? Shut the door. Like, do something. Either shut the door or let me have a kid. ‘And for the first time, I feel like I actually I told God how I felt.”

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For Your Child Starting Off the School Year Struggling to Keep Up, Implement This Method That Worked For My Kid!

Now that we are well into the new school season, some parents may notice that their child may be having a tough time adjusting and may have started the school year on the wrong foot. He or she might have failed a few quizzes, missed a few homework assignments or lost points on careless or silly errors like failing to give you a syllabus to sign and return.

The transition from elementary school to middle and high school for many children can be challenging, especially for boys. Also, a lot of children, especially young men, suffer from Executive Functioning Disorder which is exhibited in kids who have tough times keeping their papers organized, lose homework, cannot keep up in class or with notes and just struggle with the organization aspect of being a student. These children are not necessarily developmentally delayed and many can actually handle the coursework if only they could get their act together.

When my now 16-year old was 12-years old, he had a had a difficult time managing his time, classes, deadlines and as a result, his grades suffered for almost two years. It took me awhile but I finally figured out part of the root causes of his struggles: he didn’t have organizational study skills, and later he was actually diagnosed with Executive Functioning Disorder.

He isn’t alone, I am sure, especially for kids entering middle school or high school or who are going from the easier and less challenging school or program; or years in school, to the more advanced schooling, or coursework that requires more independent thinking.

Children go from having one teacher who guides them for all of their subjects to having to deal with multiple teachers and classes, numerous binders, folders, notebooks, papers and assignment books.

From one year to the next, they have syllabuses from different classes all with various project, quiz, exams and other deadlines. Class lectures also are different. They require focus to retain the information being taught where before the class is broken up by activities, gym class, outdoor play and lunch. It made learning less stressful.

In middle school, teachers expect more active class participation. It’s not enough to coast quietly. Same can be said of high school, or some private, elite or competitive schools.

Many school children in this stage need a method to help them keep track of their work and to prioritize their assignments and due dates. To help my son, I searched the internet for resources, tips and advice and came up with a system and came up with a plan that worked!

He went from Cs and Ds to honor student! He entered the honors program in high school, got on the Dean’s list and today is taking multiple Advanced Placement (AP) and Honors courses at his school

I am sharing it here for any other parent who may be dealing with a transitioning child who is also having a tough time meeting their school obligations!

ONE BINDER METHOD

Throw out the multiple notebook method that the school requires and going to go with a one binder method.  Purchase one mega 3 inch three ring binder and purchase 5 thin one-subject spiral notebooks to go in it.

Purchase matching color-coordinator two-pocked three-hole punched folders to accompany each subject that will be placed behind each notebook.

In the left pocket of each folder, he will insert his class syllabus for the year or semester or term. The right pocket will be used to hold loose-leaf assignment sheets and info sheets distributed during class.

The notebook  should used for note taking on one side of the pages only and dated at the upper right hand corner so he can keep track.

The front first page will be a wipe-able laminated monthly calendar that can be reused each month where your kid will input all quizzes, exams and project deadlines for all classes in one space.

The weekly homework sheets should be hole punched and placed behind the monthly calendar. On that weekly homework sheet,  have her jot down homework and other deadlines for each day of the week.

This one binder system should minimize the problem of when your child leaves his  book or notes at school thus meaning he will not have them to use to study over the weekend.

Also, this one binder system eliminates the problem of a child with executive functioning disorder who has a difficult time keeping track of handouts and due dates.

All of the papers will all be stored in one location for easy reference.

Also,  with this one-binder system, your son or daughter will bring home all the work so  you will be able to follow up and double check he or she is staying on track.

OTHER FAMILY ORGANIZATION MATERIALS: This has got to be an entire family effort. For the entire family, for accountability sake and so everyone is tune in to the duties and obligations, and assignments of everyone in the household, use or repurpose the following: 

A Large Central Family Calendar to hang in the kitchen or family room where everyone can see it.

On this large calendar, put important dates including vacations, birthday parties, doctor’s appointments on it but also test, project due dates and quiz dates.

If you have more than one child, like we do, dedicate a different colored marker color for each child and family member so they can easily see what applies to them with a glance.

This large calendar may help your child or children organize in their mind(s) as well as let you know who has what exam coming up or assignment due and when too.

Update it weekly with field trips, school activities, out-of-school sports and activities, dance and music rehearsals etc.

A Storage Bin: Get a bin with multiple compartments that can store paper, notebooks, blank flash cards, pencils, pens, markers, crayons, staples, glue, scissors, compasses, protractors, rulers and all the materials that may be needed for homework or a short project. It takes away the time wasted looking for a sharp pencil that children use as an excuse to procrastinate from starting. Have this storage bin be located in the designated study area or nook in your home.

A Weekly Calendar: Like the monthly calendar, the weekly calendar should be updated each Sunday before the new week with tests, quizzed and other due dates. . Have your kid or kids review your class notes from the previous week to see if you need to add any school activities.

Timer: Use a timer on your smart phone and set it for 15-20 minutes of uninterrupted study, then allow for 5-10 minutes of break to help a child who has a tough time concentrating and working non-stop. You can also purchase a timer just for this purpose.

It’s also great for kids who have or are borderline ADD/ADHD and/or have executive functioning disorder.

Daily To-Do List: Some children need daily reminders of what to do each day and even though you tell them, they forget.

Having a fixed daily schedule up on or near the fridge in the kitchen or other heavily traveled area is a good idea.

Ours include minutiae: Bathe, brush teeth, put on deodorant, dress, brush hair, eat breakfast; and after school and after library: undress, hang up uniforms, dinner, get forms signed, pack backpacks and knapsacks for the next day and leave by door, unpack lunchboxes and dump uneaten stuff and trash, warm milk, reading or practice instrument, quick study, bedtime.

PLAN FOR CREATING BETTER STUDENTS

Now with all the tools in place, here is the plan for creating a better studier and test taker:

Traveling to School

For those who drive their kids to school daily, you can start out with the morning news or music program on as the kids fuss and fight in the back, but getting closer to school, cut it all out and give your kids a pep talk and say a prayer, meditate or a few affirmative words so they are prepared for the day. (depending on your beliefs).

A pep talk I gave recently did the trick to empower my son to be more independent and seek assistance from his teacher on a certain missed task on his own. Score one for mom!

For non-drivers, try to carve out a few moments before the school bus arrives or heading out on your public transportation commute to do the same.

 Encouraging Classroom Focus and Participation Skills

Talk to your child about the importance of being cognitively ready to listen during class. If they have all their assigned work and readings completed before each class, they will be better equipped to participate and pay attention.

I instructed my son to spend the first few moments before class begins to review his notes from the previous day for a refresher and to prepare for what’s next.

Having that information fresh in his head hopefully will encourage him to raise his hand when questions are asked and to participate during oral call and response time.

Take Notes. It is important to take good notes in class.

Taking written notes almost forces a child to concentrate on what the teacher is saying. Notes, of course, also help them prepare for tests and provide clues as to what their teacher thinks is most important for your child to know.

Further, notes will contain information that may not be in  the textbooks.

Here are some notetaking tips to pass on:

Write the date at the top of each page of your notes and number the pages. This will help you to keep your notes in the proper sequence.

  • Keep your notes for each class separate from your notes for other classes. You can use different color tabs to help you do this.
  • Be selective in what you write. On average, the speaking speed of teachers is five to six times faster than is the writing speed of students. Quite simply, do not try to write everything your teacher says.
  • Use abbreviations and symbols to increase your notetaking speed.
  • Don’t be too concerned with spelling and grammar. These notes are for your use and will not be graded.
  • Ask your teacher to repeat something you think you may have missed.
  • As you write points made by your teacher, translate these points into your own words. Doing this will increase your understanding of your notes and your ability to remember the information they contain.
  • If your teacher provides a definition for a word, write that definition in your notes word for word!!!!
  • Write legibly. You will have to read your notes later on.
  • Include in your notes information your teacher writes on the board.
  • Stay especially alert during the last few minutes of the class. Teachers sometime use the last few minutes of a class session to cram in everything they wanted to cover but didn’t.
  • Use Abbreviations

AFTER SCHOOL: HOMEWORK & STUDY

The most important part of getting good grades is completing homework assignments and studying for quizzes and tests.

Establish a Good Study Environment: First, establish a good place for homework and studying: Find a place in the home, a desk in your kid’s room or your room even, in the kitchen or basement that is free from interruptions and distractions.

Get a desk or table big enough for your child to spread out their books, notebooks, pens, crayons and other materials. Have a storage unit for keeping crayons, extra pens, pencils and paper. A good chunk of study time is lost in my home by kids going on searches for a sharpened pencil. It’s part of the distraction that keeps them away from their homework. I am going to update my home office so that each child has his own table and space. It will be a distraction free venue and space for them.

Make sure their chair is comfortable, there is plenty light and the room is not too warm so your child doesn’t get sleepy and not too cold that they are distracted by shivering.

Go to the library if you don’t have such a place.

Make a routine out of it. My kids and I go after school each day. If your child is in an after-school program, usually, they have time for uninterrupted homework doing. That works too. Make sure there is no TV or music or video games being played by other children during study time at home.

If possible, and I encourage this, have a no TV or video games policy during the school week to discourage distraction or them rushing to complete homework just so they can play before bedtime. The quality of their work will show.

Encourage Frequent Breaks – A lot of children find it difficult to focus or study for extended periods of time without doodling, goofing off, picking up a comic book or doing something else instead of their homework. No problem. Breaks are great to reduce stress, allow time for the brain to process learning, and good for transition. Work them into the schedule. Set a timer for 15 -20 minutes of uninterrupted work, then 5 minutes of break time.

During the break, the student can get up, stretch, grab an apple or snack, flip through a fun book, go for a walk around the library, check out their social media accounts, then when the timer is up, get back to work for another 15-20 minutes.

To Study for Tests: Rewrite your class notes:

The best way to be certain that your class notes are complete and accurate is to review them in the evening while the information that was covered in class is still fresh in the mind.

During down times, after homework is complete, middle school and high school kids should rewrite their notes, correcting any errors, filling in any gaps, and adding additional information as appropriate.

Rewriting class notes also provide an opportunity to improve their organization and to make them neater, thereby making their notes easier to study from. Further, rewriting  class notes reinforces the information so that they will remember it better.

Here are more tips for rewriting class notes

Use Flash Card: Flash cards are a powerful tool that can help your child remember information such as the meanings of vocabulary words, mathematical formulas, history facts, and the correct spelling of words.

Tips for Remembering can also come from mnemonics, Acronymic sentences, Loci strategies,  and Pegwords.

Make an outline from notes of just the main ideas.

Make a timeline of important dates or the order of event.

Test Taking Tips: And here are some test taking tips to pass along

  1. Read the instructions carefully. Never assume you will know what they will say! Ask the teacher if you are unsure about anything.
  2. Read the entire test through before starting. Notice the point value of each section. This will help you to pace yourself.
  3. Answer the easiest questions first, then the ones with the highest point value. You don’t want to spend 20 minutes trying to figure out a two-point problem!
  4. Keep busy! If you get stuck on a question, come back to it later. The answer might come to you while you are working on another part of the test.
  5. If you aren’t sure how to answer a question fully, try to answer at least part of it. You might get partial credit.
  6. Need to guess on a multiple-choice test? First, eliminate the answers that you know are wrong. Then take a guess. Because your first guess is most likely to be correct, you shouldn’t go back and change an answer later unless you are certain you were wrong.
  7. On an essay test, take a moment to plan your writing. First, jot down the important points you want to make. Then number these points in the order you will cover them.
  8. Keep it neat! If your teacher can’t read your writing, you might lose points.
  9. Don’t waste time doing things for which you will not receive credit, such as rewriting test questions, though I suggest including some elements of the question in your answer for organization and to show the teacher you are responding to the actual question. Also, doing this will guide your answer. Be thorough and add the word “because” or “therefore” after each answer to force you to elaborate and expand so your answer is comprehensive.
  10. Leave time at the end to look over your work. Did you answer every question? Did you proofread for errors? It is easy to make careless mistakes while taking a test.

Encourage Task Lists – I am a compulsive list-maker and they keep me sane and my brain organized. Consider getting into the habit yourself or encouraging your kids to as well.

After creating this blog post, I sat down with my son and went over it and had  him help me prepare the organization sections and review the links herein. I hope it is helpful for you too!

Good luck!  And come back here and comment to let me know if you used this how it worked out for you!

Sources: http://www.how-to-study.com/Infoplease; and Learning Commons

Baby Bump News Round Up: Kenya Moore, Claire Danes, Slick Woods

Here is your latest celebrity bump watch roundup:

Model Slick Woods was in labor while walking the  New York City runway show for Rihanna, she says and gave birth right after! (PEOPLE)

Homeland star Claire Danes welcomed her second child this month (Celebrity Baby Scoop)

Real Housewives of Atlanta star Kenya Moore reveals she is weighing 200 lbs with a few months to go (BCK Online)

Lip Sync Battle host and author Chrissy Teigen opened up about Postpartum depression (CBS News)

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