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Mommy Wars: The 7 Jobs Every Work-At-Home and Stay-At-Home Mom Does

mommy wars

About a month ago, a writer penned this “mommy wars” piece for xoJane which said, in sum, that being a Stay at home mom is a privilege but not a job. Naturally, the author got it from all sides with that opinion.

I just shared it generally without an opinion on the topic on my own, however, I am now ready to chime in my thoughts.

Personally, I became a work-at-home mom a few years ago. I spend my work hours (and nights) being  a part time/occasional lawyer while building a digital media company and supplementing my skills, income and connections as a freelance writer/blogger and consultant. The rest of my  24-hours are spent tending to parenting and mom-only duties. The latter can be so time-consuming and overwhelming, that I find it challenging to keep myself looking decent during the day, to comb my hair and take regular showers. Thank goodness I don’t have to go to an office and interact with work peers.

And during this time, I have learned to respect all the work that goes into full time parenting. The responsibilities and duties have grown exponentially especially these days that my three children are older, and are enrolled in plenty after school activities and sports.

It’s one thing to only have to earn a living or work while leaving your child to the care of school, after school centers, a nanny, parent or child care center for most of the day. To add on the other jobs/tasks that parents have to do daily, weekly and monthly is just, whoa!

So in addition to being a small business owner/momtechpreneur, here are 7 jobs that I (and many other stay-at-home and work-from-home moms) do regularly:

1. Chief Home Energy Efficiency Manager- This job requires going around the home unplugging devices, scheduling and attending energy efficiency walk thru and inspections, fussing at the hubster and kids every time some large energy sapping device or machine is plugged in, and agonizing over the letter the electricity company sends every month letting the family know the house consumes twice as much electricity than most people in my entire town, and basically suck. sigh WTG to add more stress on an already stressed-out life, PEPCO!

2. School-Household Liaison – This is a big position requires tracking all the various paperwork, forms, permission slips, notices, announcements that come from the kids’ school online information system, email servers and from manual sources like the bottom of bookbags, folders and coat pockets. The job also requires cognizant recognition of the children’s relationships with faculty, staff and classmates and remain engaged, interactive and aware of how these relationships impact the kids lives.

3. Mailroom Coordinator/Operator – This task entails daily, weekly and monthly analysis of the mail that comes into the home, processing and sorting mail that need immediate attention, should be logged onto the family calendar or inserted in the bill payment system, and communication with various family members who have their mail sent to our home because they don’t trust some pieces of mail going to their own homes, for various reasons. This is what they were thinking of when someone coined the term , “piling on.”

4. Housekeeper– This job requires routing dusting, sweeping, taking out the trash, hanging up and folding laundry, cleaning out the kids rooms, picking up random dishes strewn all over the home, seasonal trips to the laundromat to launder large bedspreads and towels, bathroom cleaning and cleaning the refrigerator. The assistants (aka the kids in my home) wash the dishes and clean up on weekends and when it’s just out of control; and the hubby does weekly laundry, ironing and grocery shopping. Thank goodness otherwise, this job could be the most exhausting!

5. Cook – Cooking and/or microwaving leftovers, whipping up 10 minute meals, and grilling chicken, hotdogs, burgers and other foods the picky kids eat.

6. Household/Business Accountant – Keeping track of the household and business bills and ensuring they are paid on time; and sorting receipts and payments for the tax man in April.

7. Shuttle Driver – This position entails shuttling the children back and forth to practices, after school events and sporting activities; managing car pool duty and trying to remember to gas up the shuttle and at least take it in for a detail-level of cleaning once a quarter…at least!

If each of these were paid positions or someone had to be hired to fill them, we’re talking over a half million dollars in annual salaries yet stay-and-work-at-home moms and dads do it without pay and should be recognized for having a tough task, whether it is a privilege or not!

 

 

 

 

Family Halloween Costumes the Whole Gang Can Wear Together

When you can pull off a group Halloween costume with everyone in your family, the results are magic.

Family in Halloween Costumes

They’re creative, they’re fun and they make a big impact in Instagram photos or walking down the street. But they’re hard to do, because every member of the family has their own tastes, their own favorite characters and their own tolerance for what they’ll put up with in a costume.

These family Halloween costumes are sure to be a hit. They’re often from movies (like The Addams Family), games and franchises that have lots and lots of characters, so there’s no squabbling over who gets the to be the star. Many of them are super comfortable and possible to pull together at the last minute. (Thank you, furry one-piece costumes!) And you can adapt them to include baby costumestoddler costumes and costumes for big kids, so everyone will feel included. Whether you’re looking to dress a huge brood of siblings, cousins, uncles and aunts or just want a simple “Mommy & Me” costume, we have ideas for every size of family. They’re so easy, all you have to worry about is how you’re going to carry all that candy home.

HERE ARE SOME IDEAS

'The Incredibles' Family Halloween Costumes

‘The Incredibles’ Family Costume

$9.95

Go as the lovable superhero family, The Incredibles, and fight off monsters on Halloween night.
Three Pigs Family Halloween Costume

Three Pigs Family Costume

$46.99

Go as the little piggies that go to the market, stay at home and have roast beef in this kids’ nursery rhyme.
Scooby-Doo Family Hallowen Costume

Scooby-Doo Family Costume

$39.99

Go as the little piggies that go to the market, stay at home and have roast beef in this kids’ nursery rhyme.

Glow-in-the-Dark Skeleton Family Costume

$49.99

These onesie costumes are warm, comfortable and glow in the dark. (Safety!) They require low effort and make it easy to identify each other on Halloween night.

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Best Gifts for Pregnant Women to Enjoy

Here are some ideas to gift Pregnant Women

First things first: Major congrats to all of the expectant mamas out there!! Whether it’s you, a friend, or a family member, there’s a lot to celebrate with a little one on the way. We’ll definitely make a toast after the baby arrives, but before we do, let’s kick things off by shopping for something the mother-to-be can use right now—and also after the baby’s arrival once she’s a new mom.

If you’re shopping for a mom-to-be for the holidays (you can never start too early!) or a baby shower, you oughtta know that the best gifts for pregnant women are both functional and cute. Consider items that she can pamper herself with, such as luxurious beauty products, stress-relieving gadgets, and ultra-comfy maternity and postpartum clothes that can be worn long after the little one is here.

Daiper Bag for a Pregnant woman

The Diaper Bag

$168.00

Mommy and Me Denim Jackets for a Pregnant Mom

Mommy and Me Denim Jackets

$168.00

I mean, how cute??? These matching “mama” and “baby” jean jackets are so adorable, I’m crying.
Axis Bagpack for a pregnant Mom

Axis Backpack

$139.00

From the outside, this looks like your normal, cute backpack. But inside, it’s sooo much more than that. Among many things, it’s got a bottle pocket, washable changing pad, and an insulated compartment on the bottom for milk and anything else that needs to stay chilled.

Feathers Underwire Contour Maternity/Nursing Bra for a pregnant woman

Feathers Underwire Contour Maternity/Nursing Bra

$68.00

Get her a comfy nursing bra that she can wear throughout her pregnancy and beyond. This one also gets bonus points for all the pretty lace detailing.

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Meghan Markle’s unique accessory is a sweet tribute to her children

Meghan Markle is celebrating her 40th birthday today, but she is celebrating her children everyday with this sweet and subtle tribute.

Girl wearing a necklace

This morning the Duchess of Sussex released a video for her “40×40” initiative in honor of her 40th birthday, a campaign in which she is asking women to pledge 40 minutes of their time to “support women re-entering the workforce,” through mentorship, according to the Archewell website.

In the video, Meghan is wearing two gold necklaces in the shape of two very special constellations. The constellations — Taurus and Gemini — are the astrological signs of her 2-year-old son, Archie, and her 2-month-old daughter, Lilibet, respectively.

The star-inspired pieces Meghan wore from Logan Hollowell, a sustainable, Los Angeles-based jewelry brand, are adorned with diamonds in a gold setting.

Though Meghan is no stranger to using her jewelry to share sentimental messages, particularly with the zodiac. Last year, Meghan was spotted wearing a pair of necklaces featuring the Virgo and Taurus star signs for Harry and Archie, respectively.

Personalized necklaces have been gaining traction recently, among celebs and other royals. (Last year, Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, wore a pendant with “GCL” engraved on it, which are the initials of her three children, Prince George, Princess Charlotte and Prince Louis.)

Constellation necklaces are the perfect way to get in on the personalized jewelry trend, but with a cosmic twist. Below we rounded up the best constellation necklace options that will add a touch of flair — and sentimentality — to any look.

CHECK THEM OUT

Potion Number 9 Constellation Necklace





Potion Number 9 Constellation Necklace

$32.95

Etsy store Potion Number 9 makes dainty gold-filled constellation necklaces from cubic zirconia stones in a range of lengths. This top-rated accessory is an “Etsy’s Pick,” meaning it’s been selected by style and trend editors as a style to note.

Sterling Forever 'When Stars Align' Constellation Necklace









Sterling Forever ‘When Stars Align’ Constellation Necklace

$69.00

Available in gold- or brass-plated styles, this top-rated pick is perfect to sport your or your loved one’s sign.

MC Collective Cubic Zirconia Constellation Necklace







MC Collective Cubic Zirconia Constellation Necklace

$69.00

This necklace from MC Collective features constellations using cubic zirconia stones. It is available in both gold and silver tones to match your preferred style.

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Top Athleisure Brands to Shop Other than Lululemon {Gift Guide}

This Year, athleisure and loungewear will be big but there are other options to Lululemon

It’s official. With rising cases of the novel coronavirus, a lot of us will not be going anywhere this Winter to stay safe. In fact, everyone may be holed up at home.

The new normal for the season

As a consequence of the ongoing pandemic, a lot of restaurants, entertainment and other activities have been canceled, postponed or suspended. This shift will leave little opportunity for people to dress up. Alternatively, this opens up a market for the leisure wear industry.

Therefore, people will be trading in their club wear for sweats. If you’re considering getting clothing for a significant other, sister, teacher, nanny or sitter, friend or any other woman on your holiday shopping list this year, I’ve got the run down on the top brands in this sector of the fashion industry.

Lululemon isn’t the only game in town

Arguably, Lululemon is the most well known brand of athleisure, yoga and lounge wear but it is quite costly. It has a problematic history but still remains the go-to source.

But there are other options. Here are 9

aday

ADAY adopts a ‘less-is-more’ approach and a design ethos based on seasonless pieces and sustainability to offer everyday, athleisure-inspired clothes that are both performance-driven and stylish.

Every ADAY piece of clothing features novel technical material properties (sweat-wicking, quick-drying, UV- and chlorine-protected and wrinkle-free).

alala

Alala is a super trendy New York City-inspired luxury activewear brand.

Ivy Park offers high-fashion meets high-tech performance wear by Beyonce. The collection of activewear is effortlessly cool and includes everything from sports bras to leggings, crop and oversized sweatshirts, bodysuits and more. She recently partnered with Adidas on a collection.

athleta

Athleta (by Gap) The Gap-owned fitness brand Athleta offers stylish athleisure wear for women and girls for a variety of activities including yoga, running, swimming, and hiking.

fabletics

Fabletics Kate Hudson’s fitness fashion brand Fabletics features a collection of comfortable workout and athleisure clothing. This American retailer sells sportswear, footwear and accessories.

ivl collection

The Ivory Lane Collective, or IVL Collective for short, is fastly becoming a leader in women’s athleisure wear. Their activewear collection includes everything from cute leggings to tanks, tees, and jackets.

Nike One of the most successful and recognisable sportswear brands in the world, Nike offers everything from quality shorts and t-shirts to shoes and socks that are both fashionable and functional. The brand also sells a lot of high-quality gym gear for your home..

under armour

Under Armour The American sportswear label Under Armour launched in 2016 Under Armour Sportswear (UAS), a premium athleisure range designed by Belgian designer Tim Coppens. UAS fuses high-performance sportswear designs with an elevated sartorial touch. They have really cute and sexy gym clothes on their website.

FP Movement is Free People’s active fashion line which triumphs both bohemian chic style and function.

adidas

Adidas is a sportswear powerhouse that combines quality and style to create modern, street-savvy active wear. The active wear brand’s signature three-stripe motif has gained iconic status in popular culture.

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Love, Jay Jay
Love, Jay Jay

A 10 year veteran influential lifestyle, parenting, small biz, beauty and tech blogger, Jay Jay gives you the information, news, deals, steals, inside scoop and knowledge, straight, no chaser! Follow her on social media @JayJayGhatt

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Pregnant Women Who Nailed Their Halloween Costume

Every year, Buzzfeed does a great round up of pregnant women who knocked it out the park with their Halloweed costume that included their bellies in their get-up.

This year, even though less people are attending Halloween Parties, they are still planning to dress up even if just to share the photo online and in social media.

Here is a few of the winning looks that made the site this year and year’s past. Head over to Buzzfeed to see the rest.

 

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Happy Halloween!! 🥔🥔 @seamusmullen did I nail it? #halloween #mrpotatohead #pregnancyperks

A post shared by Neha Jambhekar (@neha177) on

Birth News: Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom; Teyana Taylor and Imani Shumpert Jr Welcome Baby Girls

Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom and now Teyana Taylor and Imani Shumpert Jr both have new baby girl Virgos!

Perry and Bloom announced the arrival of their first child together, Daisy Dove Bloom, via UNICEF as the couple are Goodwil Ambassadors for the charity, sharing back on August 27th a black and white photo of the newborn holding onto her daddy’s finger.

And on editor Jay Jay’s birthday, Septembe 6, Taylor and Shumpert welcomed their second child, daughter Rue Rose inside their bathroom just like Rue’s big sister 4 years earlier.

At 3:28 am on Sept 6th 2020 Rue Rose ? decided that the baby shower thrown for her and mommy was too lit,” Shumpert said on Instagram of Sunday’s special delivery. “She didn’t make the party but she managed to make the next day her birthdate!!!”

The NBA shooting guard added, “Now…when we buy homes, we always find a bathroom with great energy… but not in a million years would you be able to tell me we’d deliver both of our daughters in a bathroom without the assistance of a hospital!”

Shumpert said of he and his wife’s newborn, she  “entered the world in the water and came out looking around and ready to explore!”

“A healthy child. A little sister. Another daughter. Black love wins….again. Welcome babygirl…we love you! ? @babyruerose,” he continued.

Taylor also posted an Instagram video of her baby girl, adding the message: “We love you Rue, welcome baby girl @babyruerose ???❤️.”

She announced her pregnancy in June via a music video. Later that month, Taylor also shared that Erykah Badu planned to be her midwife.

And Taylor willed a second bathroom birth during an appearance on actor, recording artist and TV host Nick Cannon‘s podcasts when she said,

“I don’t know if I want to go to the hospital for this next baby…I’ll make sure it’s not on the toilet or the bathroom floor.”

View this post on Instagram

We love you Rue, welcome baby girl @babyruerose ???❤️ #Repost @imanshumpert •••••• At 3:28 am on Sept 6th 2020 Rue Rose ? decided that the baby shower thrown for her and mommy was too lit. She didn’t make the party but she managed to make the next day her birthdate!!! Now…when we buy homes, we always find a bathroom with great energy… but not in a million years would you be able to tell me we’d deliver both of our daughters in a bathroom without the assistance of a hospital! Our newest edition entered the world in the water and came out looking around and ready to explore! A healthy child. A little sister. Another daughter. Black love wins….again. Welcome babygirl…we love you! ? @babyruerose

A post shared by Jimmy Neutch- Shumpert (@teyanataylor) on

 

Bloom and Perry said of their new arrival that they were “floating with love and wonder from the safe and healthy arrival of our daughter,” adding that they feel “lucky” and “grateful” to have been able to deliver their child so peacefully.

Meanwhile, Taylor was giving us earth mom maternity all pregnancy long:

And about that Baby Shower (post coming soon)

 

Star Trek and The Walking Dead’s Soniqua Martin-Green welcomed Second Child, Daughter

Congrats to Star Trek: Discovery star Sonequa Martin-Green and her fellow actor husband Kenric Green on the birth of their second child, a daughter. last Sunday, July 19th.

“We welcomed our sweet baby girl last Sunday, July 19th at 8:32 in the morning,” The Walkind Dead, alum captioned a photo of herself in bed cradling her newborn with Green by her side. “It was a profoundly beautiful home birth, and now both of our children have been born in the water. We never felt that anything was missing, but now that she’s here, we feel a perfect sense of completeness.”

 

The caption continued, “Her name is Saraiyah Chaunté Green, she’s got Mommy’s initials and Mommy’s middle name. She’s utterly perfect, just like her brother. Thanks be to Yeshua, she’s the final piece to our Love-given puzzle.”

Alongside the caption, Martin-Green shared several photos of her with Saraiyah, as well as shots of dad Green and big brother Kenric Justin II, whom Green, 38, and Martin-Green welcomed in January 2015.

The couple announced Martin-Green’s pregnancy on Instagram back in March, with a sweet family photo.

In the adorable reveal, both Green and Kenric II had their hands placed on Martin-Green’s baby bump, visible underneath a red T-shirt. All three family members were beaming at the camera with wide smiles.

“Adding another passenger to the Green train!” the then-expectant-mama captioned her post, which was re-shared by her husband. “All aboard little lady, this train is fueled by Love and we’re already overflowing with it for you. ?”

 

Green stars in a recurring role as Scott on The Walking Dead, and has been in series like The Originals and Hawaii Five-0He also appeared as Mike Burnham in a season 2 episode of Star Trek: Discovery titled “Perpetual Infinity.”

The two tied the knot in 2010, and confirmed the birth of their son exclusively to PEOPLE in January 2015.

“We thank God for this incredible blessing,” the then-new parents told PEOPLE of Kenric II. “We are overjoyed. He’s the coolest little man ever.”

Diplo Has Never Met His Newborn Son With Trini Beauty Queen Because of Covid Travel

My husband is from Trinidad so I thought to share this news from a former beauty queen from his hometown.

Miss Universe Trinidad and Tobago 2014 Jevon King had a son on March 20, 2020 with internationally known mega DJ, Diplo.

Neither mom or dad formally announced their mutual parentage of the new baby until recently when the Mississippi born recording artist posted a photo of King with their new son in a photo slideshow on Mother’s Day.

“Thanks for giving me life and helping me create it – the three strongest mothers in the world.. I’m still a work in progress but u have given three perfect beautiful boys ? I love you all til the moon and back,” Diplo, real name Thomas Wesley, captioned the share.

He later dedicated an entire post to his newest child.

“So, I had an entire ass baby during quarantine,” he mentions in his post of a video of the newborn. “I was hesitant to post him because not only does he already have a better haircut than me… But also because I haven’t met him yet since we are separated by a million miles and closed borders.”

He continued: “His name is Pace, he and his mommy are super healthy and happy and I’m going to meet them as soon as we turn a corner on this world shutdown.”

Diplo is currently in self-isolation to protect his two other children, sons Lockett and Lazer, with ex-girlfriend Kathryn Lockhart. The boys are currently living with their grandmother, therefore, Diplo has decided to practice social distancing to protect her.

Bills Withers and the Crying Baby Hack that Starts In Utero

R&B crooner Bill Withers passed away over the past week from heart failure at age 81.

Not is his passing a loss for the music industry, it is for the world and all those who enjoyed his work.  Withers played the soundtrack of my life too with his hits songs like “Aint No Sunshine“and “Just the Two Of Us” duet with Grover Washington, Jr. but his music was also an integral part of my baby rearing when I had a young family.

He helped me test out a hack for soothing an inconsolable baby that starts when that baby is still in its mommy’s tummy.

When I was pregnant with my first child back in 2001, I read a book about the importance of introducing classical music to your baby in utero.

So, I decided to play the “Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy” from The Nutcracker Ballet suite for my then soon-to-be first born child when I was pregnant with him while I traveled along my day, running errands, traveling back and forth to work.

When he was born and there would be moments when he would get inconsolable, all I had to do was put on the Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy and he would immediately stop crying and settle down.

I used that hack for my middle kid and again for my youngest child. For each of the subsequent pregnancies, I picked a different sound. I didn’t think it had to be classical music so for my last child, I picked the Bill Withers song “Lovely Day“. It worked on her too.

We lost a legend but the music lives on in our memories, hearts, feelings of nostalgia and playlists. If you can, please check out this excellent write up Rolling Stone magazine did on him back on 2015 and you’ll get to appreciate his very dynamic life.: “Bill Withers: The Soul Man Who Walked Away

Lyrics:

When I wake up in the morning, love

And the sunlight hurts my eyes

And something without warning, love

Bears heavy on my mind

Then I look at you

And the world’s alright with me

Just one look at you

And I know it’s gonna be

A lovely day

A lovely day

When the day that lies ahead of me

Seems impossible to face

When someone else instead of me

Always seems to know the way

Then I look at you

And the world’s alright with me

Just one look at you

And I know it’s gonna be

A lovely day

A lovely day

When the day that lies ahead of me

Seems impossible to face

When someone else instead of me

Always seems to know the way

Then I look at you

And the world’s alright with me

Just one look at you

And I know it’s gonna be

A lovely day

A lovely day

Quelle: LyricFind

Songwriter: William Harrison Withers Jr. / Skip Scarborough

Songtext von Lovely Day © Warner Chappell Music, Inc, Golden Withers Music